Shopping is a very personal experience, which people find either exhilarating or agonizing.
However, whether shopping brings you joy or pain, it is usually something best done on one’s own.
When shopping with others, we might find ourselves dissuaded from buying something that genuinely excites us.
Or, worse still, coerced into buying something we truly despise, or don’t feel comfortable buying.
Redditor True_Membership8294 recently enjoyed a shopping outing with her granddaughter.
And outing that the original poster (OP) was slightly pressured into buying something she wouldn’t normally buy for herself.
While the OP was ultimately happy with her purchase, her daughter was not, going so far as to scold her for wearing it to a family gathering.
Wondering if she had stepped out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wearing a two-piece bikini to my granddaughter’s birthday pool party?”
The OP explained why the outfit her granddaughter picked out for her was met with a less-than-glowing reception from her daughter:
“My granddaughter Kelsy (19 F[emale]) and I (67 F[emale]) were shopping for her 19th birthday party.”
“After she picked out an outfit for herself, she tried to pick out an outfit for me.”
“All her suggestions were two-piece bikinis.”
“I gave the obvious answer, but she said her generation, especially those in our state, isn’t that judgmental.”
“I wore a two-piece bikini at Kelsy’s 19th birthday pool party.”
“I was flattered she thought I should wear it, and I didn’t want her to feel she would have to hide herself when she gets older.”
“The party was hosted by Kelsy’s mom and my daughter Brigitte (44 F[emale]).”
“After the party, Brigitte told me it was inappropriate for a woman my age to wear that in front a bunch of college-aged youngsters.”
“She notable that she herself wore a one-piece instead of a two-piece.”
“Am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for wearing a bikini to her granddaughter’s pool party.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s daughter could learn a thing or two from her Kelsy and her more open-minded generation, and that it would have been more inappropriate had she NOT worn the swimsuit that Kelsy specifically picked out for her:
“NTA.”
“The birthday girl picked it out and wanted you to wear the bikini.”
“As long as you and the birthday girl were comfortable, that’s all that matters.”
“No one ever died from seeing an older woman in a bikini.”
“Your daughter needs to get over herself and her judgment.”- Consistent-Leopard71
“NTA.”
“‘This is what Kelsy wanted me to wear. ‘”
“‘She’s a lovely young woman with some great ideas about body positivity’.”
“‘You should talk to her about it sometime’.”- RedditWidow
“NTA.”
“There isn’t an age limit on wearing a two-piece.”
“It’s sad that your daughter has that view of women.”- 0biterdicta
“You showed your mid-riff to college-age adults?????”
“How could you!”
“Clearly NTA.”- FemalePheromones
“NTA.”
“Two pieces are by far more comfortable and easier to get in and out of for bathroom purposes.”
“I hate that other women are reinforcing this stupid sh*t about age appropriateness and body policing.”
“It’s up to you to assess the situation and make your own call on what to wear.”- chooseusermochi
“NTA.”
“End of the day, your granddaughter wanted you to wear it for her birthday, and you are totally right that you should be a good model and not hide yourself with age!”
“Go grandma!!”- No_Ear4169
“NTA.”
“I’m 43 and I really love how your granddaughter’s generation wears what they want.”
“I teach a first-year university class, and it makes me happy when my students with less than perfect bodies wear things that, when I was young, girls with that body would absolutely not have worn for fear of ridicule.”
“My generation is messed up about body image.”- cheecho_denesprites
“NTA for sure.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a great granddaughter.”- Bob8372
“Did you feel comfortable and maybe even fabulous in the bikini?”
“That’s all that matters here.”
“Good for you, setting a body/age positivity example for those kids.”
“NTA.”
“My Mom is in her early 80s, still trim and extremely fit for her age.”
“She totally rocks a bikini top with little swim shorts on her cruises.”- Only-Ingenuity7889
“Kelsy picked it out for you, it’s Kelsy’s party.”
“NTA!”- TechnicalCoast6048
“Sounds like your daughter is projecting her own insecurities onto you.”
“NTA.”- MainEgg320
“Yeah, Brigitte really proved Kelsy’s point, didn’t she?”
“Nobody cared but that woman.”
“Wear what you want, queen, it’s not 1980 anymore.”
“NTA.”
“I love that you considered how what you wear may influence Kelsy in the best way: you didn’t want her to feel like she’ll be obligated to wear a one-piece when she’s older.”- faulty_rainbow
“NTA!”
“And I love your granddaughter.”- No_Staple_7489
“NTA.”
“You not only had the go-ahead (not that you needed it) from the birthday woman herself, but she helped you pick out the bikini.”
“I love that she gave you the confidence to wear a two-piece at 67.”
“I also love that at 19 she’s enjoying a day out shopping with her grandma.”
“Beautiful!”
“As a 40-something woman, I like to think I will never feel like I’ve crossed the finish line on life experiences as innocuous as wearing a bikini just because some people think it’s ‘inappropriate’.”
“I stand with your granddaughter!”- Responsible_Juice446
“NTA.”
“Do you have a body?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want to wear a bikini?”
“Yes?”
“Congratulations, you have a bikini body, because all bodies are bikini bodies!”- HedWig1991
“Definitely NTA.”
“Although that may be my biased European self.”
“I’ve been to enough beaches in Spain that I can say that so many abuelas rock two-piece bathing suits in such bright colors.”
“That even gave me a boost of confidence.”- SuspiciousAdvice217
“NTA.”
“It was your granddaughter’s birthday.”
“You wore what she wanted you to wear.”
“Full stop.”- madmarie1223
“NTA.”
“I hope you told her that her daughter that the birthday girl picked it out for you.”- runningoutofnames57
“NTA.”
“Your granddaughter is a bad@ss and so are you.”
“Rock it.”- Prestigious-Name-323
“NTA at all.”
“Good for you!”- cluttrdmind
“NTA wear what you feel comfortable and happy in.”
“Everyone else can kick rocks.”- Novel_Fox
“NTA.”
“People that want to police women’s bodies and clothing choices can get stuffed.”- empreur
“NTA.”
“Your granddaughter helped you and felt you were a goddess in your two-piece.”
“Your daughter was raised in a time of heavy media criticism on women’s bodies.”
“Her trauma is showing, and you should give her a hug and tell her to wear what she likes.”-threebecomeone
“NTA.”
“You wore an outfit that your granddaughter had suggested to you for a party for herself.”
“If your granddaughter thinks it’s fine, that all that matters.”- GrumpyITDude
“NTA.”
“Keep wearing those bikinis!”- Single-Guava-7489
“NTA.”
“Your body, your choice.”- Lucky-Individual460
“NTA.”
“You wore what you felt comfortable in, and your granddaughter picked it out.”
“You weren’t trying to perform for anyone, no, you were only there to celebrate her, not to draw attention or make a statement.”
“Your daughter’s reaction is where the issue lies.”
“She’s policing your body based on age, not behavior, and that’s control dressed up as propriety and ‘ladylike behavior’.”
“It’s gaslighting to the highest degree.”
“There’s no rule that says at 67 you have to hide your midsection or legs or shoulders.”
“Bodies don’t expire at a certain age.”
“If anything, older women should feel more freedom, not less.”
“They’ve earned the right to exist without apology because after all, they are the mothers and sisters and Daughters of the world.”
“You didn’t embarrass anyone, and you didn’t cross a line.”
“You showed confidence, not vanit,y and if that made others uncomfortable, that’s their problem, not yours.”
“If your granddaughter felt fine wearing a two-piece and encouraged you to do the same, that tells me a lot about her values.”
“Clearly she sees you as someone who gets to choose and she’s absolutely right.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“Don’t let someone else’s discomfort rewrite that truth.”
“I’d suggest you point out that one day she will be your age as well so she shouldn’t be upset over nothing.”
“Anyways I wish you the best with this.”- OneAtPeace
“NTA.”
“Assuming it was a regular, normal two-piece bikini, then you’re not an a**hole and good for you not buying into western culture’s ideas about what kinds of bodies are ‘acceptable’ to be in public doing normal human activities like wearing bathing suits and swimming.”
“Unless you’re talking about some kind of super revealing, barely-there, porny bikini that’s more string than suit—and even then you’d only be an asshole for wearing it to a family function lol.”
“I also LOVE that you included that you don’t want her to feel she has to hide herself when she’s older.”
“It’s a great lesson for any young person, but especially one whose mother apparently does want her to feel she has to hide herself just for aging.”- Desperate_Green143
One can only wonder if the OP’s daughter is self-conscious about her own body.
And scolding the OP was perhaps out of envy or jealousy, more than anything else.
Which isn’t to say that the OP’s daughter should feel obligated to wear a bikini.
She should only wear what makes her comfortable.
As comfortable as the OP was wearing a bikini.