Woman Balks After Roommate Demands More Space In Her House Despite Not Paying Rent

No good deed goes unpunished. Or maybe a better saying might be beggars can't be choosers.

The former speaks to the best intentions blowing up in a person's face.

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The latter speaks to entitlement when receiving free or low-cost help is a bad look.

A homeowner who decided to help a friend in need and now regrets it turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit for feedback.

RoommateHouseDrama asked:

"AITA for not giving my roommate more space?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I (29, female) am a homeowner. I inherited a 3-bedroom house after my Aunt died of cancer two years ago. She had no children, and we were close, so it was a no-brainer that she'd leave it to me."

"I spent the first year after the house passed to me renovating it and making it feel like mine."

"It was around the time this finished that my friend (29, female) had to leave her boyfriend's flat after they broke up and she didn't have a backup plan. I let her move in with me and told her she was of course welcome to stay."

"I gave her the second largest bedroom, which is 13 square meters, with its own bathroom. I have the master bedroom, and the box room is my office as I work from home."

"I told her that the bedroom she had was her space and to decorate it however she wanted. Beyond that, she had access to all communal areas of the house, the living room, the kitchen, and the garden."

"The only places I asked her not to go were my bedroom (if uninvited), my office, and the loft, which I'd renovated into my D&D room. I'm a DM and my party meets every Saturday to play."

"Despite not charging her rent, I had an agreement written up so we were both clear. I'm kind, not stupid."

"It's been a year and I thought things were going well. I don't charge her rent; my only request is that she split the utility bills and groceries bill."

"I had a few rules, but nothing insane. A heads up if she had an overnight guest, no loud noise after 11pm on a weekday, and to keep her own space clean."

"She has randomly told me yesterday that she needs more space. That it's not fair she only has her bedroom, bathroom, and the communal areas while I have my bedroom, bathroom, office, loft, and communal areas."

"I was shocked. She'd never expressed any unhappiness with this layout that I'd noticed."

"I told her that, yeah, I had more space, but she had to keep in mind it was my house, and I'd set up these spaces for me before she even came to stay."

"She got upset with this and said I was being unfair and we need to rethink the layout of the house."

"This has made me a bit uncomfortable. I let her stay when she had nowhere else to go, and I was happy to give her free control over her own space, but I can't help but feel this is rather ridiculous."

"AITA?"

The OP later added:

"I care about her a great deal. I was happy to help her out and give her a space to stay."

"The money isn't really needed for me and I'm fine paying the property tax alone as she chips in in her own ways through utility and groceries. I'm lucky, thanks to my Aunt, I have both a house for life and a nice little nest egg."

"It seemed right to sort of 'pay it forward,' you know? But I'm seriously rethinking my generosity now."

"Squatters Rights isn't a thing in my country, thankfully, not the way it is in America. To succeed, a squatter must occupy the property continuously without permission for a minimum of 10 to 12 years while acting as the owner."

"As she doesn't pay rent, she has no rights at all. All I need to do is give her 4 weeks' notice if I want her out."

The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.

"I could be the a**hole I guess as I have so much room compared to her and haven't checked in that she is OK with this."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - more information needed

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA. You need to encourage her to move on."

"She now thinks she's entitled to dictate living arrangements in someone else's house. That genie cannot be returned to the bottle."

"And sad to say, but this friendship is probably over." ~ subsailor1968

"No decent friend would dare ask for more space in that situation." ~ KingsRansom79

"The girl is delusional, acting like she's OP's life-partner while mooching for free."

"Time for her to live on her own. A perfect case of biting the hand that feeds you, too bloody common." ~ GraceOfTheNorth

"Yeah, if I didn't have to pay rent, I'd be afraid of doing anything that might piss my free ride off."

"As they say, no good deed goes unpunished."

"It's easier said than done, OP, but I would tell her this arrangement is no longer working, and give her a month to move out. Tell her she can have all the space she wants, just in a different home." ~ LookAwayPlease510

"Without paying rent? No, no, no…time for her to face real life. Sounds like this was initially a temporary solution for her situation. Now she's way too entitled. Time to go. NTA." ~ rainyhawk

"Even paying rent wouldn't make this okay. The owner of the house decides which areas are communal and which aren't." ~ BobMortimersButthole

"Someone else's house, and she doesn't even pay rent! That's some entitled BS. Definitely time for her to move out so she can have more space that she actually pays for." ~ Worldly-Grade5439

"Talk to her and say, 'I completely agree that you need your own space. Have you found somewhere to move into that gives you that space? I realise that you must have been saving all that money from no rent so you must be able to afford somewhere of your own by now, right?'."

"Be clever about this. She is a grown woman, living rent-free in a house where she has full access to communal areas and her very large bedroom and ensuite, but that isn't enough."

"Good luck to her! Time for her to move on."

"You're NTA by the way. She is. And being very rude about it too!" ~ Powerful_Put_6977

"Yeah, this is one choosy f*cking beggar."

"You want a clean roommate who won't complain about a single thing and who will role-play the hell out of anything you need? I will take her spot in a heartbeat."

"I am even a great baker!" ~ EfficientDismal

"Just adding on to this OP, but this was a huge (and remarkably entitled) ask that is character-defining. Don't let her shift things back to normal."

"She's got resentment and jealousy growing, and it appears that she is the sort to try to take a mile for any foot you give."

"It's 100% time that she moves on. Give her notice for her to move on."

"I'd say to be aware that you're likely to lose this friendship, but really, I think that you already lost it. A friend would not ask for this while receiving such a huge gift." ~ Convenient-Enemy-511

"NTA she's not even paying rent, and demanding more space?"

"Absolutely not. If she's unhappy with the current setup, she's welcome to move out and go live elsewhere."

"If she wants 50% of the house space, then she can pay 50% of the market rate for a similar home, plus her share of utilities and groceries." ~ Jerseygirl2468

"Does she think she's on the deed or something?"

How does a person who only pays for utilities (half!) come up with this idea?"

"There is no WE, roommate."

"WE will not be rethinking the layout."

"NTA." ~ sweetT333

"So, she's staying rent-free, with an en-suite bathroom, and now decides she gets to say that isn't good enough or 'fair'. The entitlement of some people shocks me."

"NTA. You should tell her she can get her own place with as much space as she is willing to pay for and she'll find out how much space she can afford!" ~ Narfie_

"NTA, you've been incredibly generous, and you don't deserve this entitlement and ungratefulness. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to continue living with her after this." ~ needysublustydom1

"If I had someone so generous as to house me for a share of utility bills and groceries with nothing expected of me apart from keeping clean and tidy, boy oh boy, I would be the dream housemate!"

"I'd make dinner for my 'landlord' on the regular with enough leftovers to have for lunch the next day, weekend brunches, and the occasional baked good. The toilets would be mirror-shiny clean daily. The laundry room and pantry would be Instagram decanted, rotated, and arranged into aesthetically matching cannisters."

"I would be so much of an asset to live with that the gravy train of free rent would never end! And here she is, shooting herself in the foot. That's just stupid." ~ Professional_Ruin953

Apparently the phenomenon of ingratitude coupled with entitlement is common enough that there's a subReddit for it called Choosing Beggars.

It sounds like OP's houseguest has outgrown her space.

Time for her to move on to larger, no-longer-free accommodations.