Many parents encourage, or even force, their children to get jobs and pay for their own things from a very young age.
While other parents have no problem financially helping their adult children until they feel comfortable on their feet.
However, there will come a time for everyone when they realize they are responsible for themselves, and won't be able to get help like they used to.
And it never comes as a pleasant surprise.
Redditor RyuzioO0 was recently given an unexpected reality check from their parents.
Essentially forcing them to make some decisions they didn't expect to for at least a few more years.
Shortly after this, the original poster (OP)'s parents contacted them with an unexpected request.
A request the OP had no interest whatsoever in obliging after their recent ultimatum.
Wondering if they were being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to 'babysit' my younger brother after my family effectively kicked me out?"
The OP explained why they were less than eager to help their parents out:
"I'm 26 and until recently I was living at home with my mum, stepdad, and my 18-year-old stepbrother (my stepdad's son)."
"For as long as I can remember, it's always felt like my stepbrother has been the clear favorite."
"I've tried to ignore it over the years, but recent events have really brought those feelings to the surface."
"My family rent, and our landlord recently told us she needs the property back because her son is moving in."
"We had to find somewhere else to live."
"There were multiple three-bedroom properties within the same budget, but my mum and stepdad decided to rent a two-bedroom house instead."
"That decision meant there was no room for me, so I was effectively told I needed to find somewhere else to live."
"As a result, my girlfriend and I are now having to bring forward our plans to buy a house by about a year."
"We'll make it work, but it's added a lot of financial pressure and stress that we weren't expecting yet."
"Now here's the part that's really annoyed me."
"My mum and stepdad are going on holiday for a week, and they've asked me to move back into their new house for that week just to stay with my 18-year-old stepbrother because they don't want him to get lonely."
"He's 18. He's legally an adult."
"And after choosing a house that had no room for me, they now expect me to come back and play house-sitter and keep him company."
"Part of me feels guilty because it's only a week, but another part of me feels like I'm only being included when it's convenient for them."
"When it came to choosing a house, I wasn't important enough to have a bedroom."
"But now they need something from me, suddenly I'm expected to help."
"Am I overreacting for not wanting to do it?"
"Would you go back after feeling like you'd been pushed out, or is it reasonable for me to say no?"
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to babysit their 18-year-old stepbrother
Most agreed that beyond being kicked out of the house, their stepbrother should be able to take care of himself at 18, and if he wasn't able to, that reflected poorly on the OP's parents:
"NTA."
"They don't get to demand your presence when they demanded your disappearance."
"Cat/dog sitters get paid $50 to $100 a day."
"An adult human needing 'babysitting' should require more money for watching him."
"Tell them that you'll do it for $150 day and meals."- KatzAKat
"NTA."
"If an 18yo can't survive for a week they have failed him."- FairyFartDaydreamsNTA.
"Keep your response short."
"Don’t add the other details (though they are valid; it will add conflict). Sorry I can’t. My schedule is more full these days given some recent life things. I hope you guys have an awesome trip though'.”-PracticalPrimrose
"NTA."
"It's absolutely reasonable for you to push back."
"The 18-year-old adult is not your responsibility."- ChestnutDecay
"NTA."
"He's 18 and should be old enough to look after himself."- Glassy-Eyed-Quinn
"NTA."
"At 18, your bro is old enough to house sit for a week."
"If they don’t trust him, they can either take him with them or stay home themselves."
"It’s really not your problem to solve."
"Good luck with your own plans and don’t let them guilt trip you."- LabInner262
"NTA."
"No."
"Don't do it."
"There should be no need to babysit an adult and esp. under the circumstances."
"I will tell you what I once told my mom (the Queen of Guilt Trips) many years ago: I don't want to do Thing. Doing Thing will make me unhappy."
"You are deliberately trying to make me unhappy so that I will do Thing."
"If I am going to be unhappy anyway, I may as well be unhappy doing what I want to do--and that is NOT Thing."- AlvinOwlHirt
"NTA."
"But all they did was ask."
"Suggest bro stay with a friend or friend stay with him if this is about being 'lonely'."- Mytweezer
"NTA."
"This was crappy behavior on your parents' part."
"An 18-year-old man needing someone to stay with him to keep him from getting lonely is pretty pathetic."
"Your parents are probably more worried that your brother will trash the house while they're gone."- MarionberryPlus8474
"NTA."
"I say NTA because your feelings here are valid and their request is absurd."
"However, they were forced into moving, and you admitted that within a year you were planning to move out and buy somewhere."
"Were they supposed to continue paying higher rent for a third room after you moved?"
"Go through a whole move again and everything that comes with it just so that you had an extra year?"
"We're talking energy companies, internet, driving licences, bank addresses needing changing again."
"Packing and unpacking everything twice."
"I think it was really unfortunate, but I can't hate on them for not making housing choices based on their soon-to-move-out, anyway 26-year-olds' needs."
"On needing to babysit the 18-year-old so he doesn't get lonely, that's just ridiculous."- AcanthocephalaOne285
Others, however, had trouble sympathizing with anyone, understanding why the OP didn't want to babysit their stepbrother, but also finding the OP's resentment towards their parents a bit immature:
"ESH."
"OP is not an AH for not wanting to babysit an 18-year-old for a week."
"It is totally ridiculous to be honest that the parents even think that their younger son needs his sibling there."
"He will be fine for a week and not suffer from loneliness."
"I bet he will love it to have the apartment on his own."
"But OP is an AH for resenting his parents for choosing a 2 bedroom apartment."
"Personally I think it would have been stupid of them to choose a 3 bedroom apartment instead."
"They already knew that OP would move out in a year."
"So what in a year?"
"Move out again?"
"Moving is really not fun."
"And OP could have also moved in with his GF for example."
"And even if those 3 bedroom apartments cost the same as the 2 bedroom house, the smaller one is likely nicer or in a better place."
"Also, the 18-year-old might move out in the near future, too."
"And then the parents are stuck in a 3 bedroom apartment they really don't need at all and definitely have to move out again."
"One extra room might be nice to have; two might really not be worth the extra costs and the effort to keep it clean."
"And it is not like they moved out before OP got his house to make OP's life harder."
"They were forced by their landlord and couldn't wait to move for another year."- opelan
Others, however, couldn't get past the fact that the OP was angry that his parents wanted them to move out of the house at age 26:
"YTA."
"You are a 26-year-old adult with a partner, and you're upset because your parents made a housing plan that didn't include you."
"You're not homeless, you just want to be able to purchase property - something your parents have not been able to do, which perhaps they could have if they hadn't housed you for the last several years."
"Your situation is very different from that of the teenager who lives with them."
"You can refuse, but you're the one making the family situation about money at that point."- Acrobatic_Ear6773
The OP was going to need to find their own way through life at some point.
From the sounds of it though, it seems likely that the OP's parents plan on protecting, or coddling, the OP's stepbrother well past his 26th birthday.
Making the OP's lack of excitement about spending time with him somewhat understandable.
Even if not all 26-year-olds are lucky enough to stay living at home rent-free...
