It can be frustrating making plans to see someone close to you, especially when they live so far away, only to have the plans ruined.
When Redditor missed_tripp wanted to go see his dad, he had to plan for a half day’s drive. But the original poster’s (OP) stepmother had other plans.
OP ended up walking out and driving home, but was he wrong to leave his dad like that?
To find out, OP takes their story to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked the internet:
“AITA for leaving my dad’s early instead of babysitting?”
This was what he said happened:
“Haven’t seen my dad in almost 7 months because I (23M) live like half a day away with my girlfriend.”
“Last weekend I decided to ask for some time off to go see my pops. And I asked if it was cool for me to stay there so we can hang out and do something on Saturday.”
“My dad said that would be great. He seemed happy about it so I thought that was the plan. I made the drive got there by Friday night and slept on the couch at his place.”
“My dad has a wife and they have my little brother (6). Saturday morning my stepmom is saying me and my bro should go to the beach or something fun out of the house.”
“But I told her well my dad and I had plans to have some guy time. My brother could come tho no problem.”
“She said they had plans already.”
“When I talked to my dad he said he was sorry. My stepmom got all excited after he told her I was coming. She thought this would be great time for them to go out.”
“Guess they were gonna do a spa day, go out to eat then movies. It was gonna take the whole day. My dad though we could do something together on Sunday.”
“But Sunday was literally when I was leaving. Probably have like 2 hours to spend time together before I needed to be on the road.”
“I got pretty mad at him, I told him I didn’t drive for hours to babysit. Whole point of coming out was to spend time with him.”
“He kept saying he’s sorry, my stepmom just jumped at it and he doesn’t want her feeling bad. Then she got involved with I should be happy to spend time with my brother. Especially with me staying at their house ‘for free.’”
“Well I told my dad no point in me staying if we’re only gonna have a couple hours to hangout. So I just got my stuff and made the drive back home.”
“She thinks I was a huge a**hole now for being bratty instead of doing something nice for them. And they couldn’t even got out after I left.”
“I was mad when I left because of the change of plans with literally no warning but idk if I was an a**hole for basically doing the same thing to them and refusing to babysit my brother so they could have their time.”
“To me it just wasn’t fair to waste all my time there when I wasn’t gonna be able to do what I went there to do. AITA?”
On the AITA subReddit, users judge the poster and how they reacted in a situation. They may place fault with the poster, someone else in the story or no one at all.
This is done with one of the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many comments agreed that there was a reason the stepmom and dad didn’t tell OP about their plans. If OP had known, he wouldn’t have agreed.
And it’s easy to see why.
“NTA! You went to visit your dad and your stepmom saw a free babysitter for some alone time with him instead. She knew she was wrong, she tried to hide the spa day by suggesting a brothers beach trip.”
“If she needs alone time with him that badly she can hire a babysitter. You were cheated out of quality time with your dad and shame on him for not sticking up for you and saying he wants to spend time with you while you’re there to visit him.” – Laughing-Jester317
“NTA at all. You haven’t seen your dad in 7 months and the first thing your stepmom thinks is free childcare?!?!?!”
“What an incredibly entitled and selfish woman. Your dad is no better, because he just went along with her nonsense. You absolutely did the right thing.” – Consistent-Leopard71
“NTA To be frank, I think if your dad really cared he would’ve told his wife that this whole thing wasn’t cool. They can pay for a babysitter if they want a day of pampering.” – roser1994
“NTA, as long as you were actually clear that you were coming out to spend time with your dad. His wife sounds like a peach!”
“If you don’t spend time with them often it is actually pretty rude to not plan to spend time together as a whole family. Wild that your dad was not planning to spend with you as discussed.”
“So very sorry for you.” – LovelySpirit1
While the stepmom received a lot of the blame, some commenters felt a little different and blamed the dad.
“NTA I’m gonna go the other way of a lot of the comments and say your dad is the asshole because he should have told his wife no because he was spending the day with you.”
“What she did was grimy and she sucks for making those plans and putting your dad in that position but he chose her over you and that’s f***ed up.”
“If anything he should have spent Saturday with you and asked if you could hang out with your brother for a few hours Sunday so that they could go to the spa.” – burnsalot603
“Sunday wouldn’t have worked since I was leaving in the morning. Wouldn’t have cared if my brother went with us, just as long as I was spending with my dad too” – missed_tripp (OP)
“This is perfectly reasonable and understandable. Your SM started this problem, but your father needed to stand up to her.”
“When you’re feeling up to it text your father or call him and let him know how hurt you felt that you made so much effort and all they offered you was baby sitting. Leave the SM out of it, you can’t fix her, and just let your father know how HIS actions have affected you.”
“It’s up to him to deal with his wife, and make an effort to maintain a good relationship with his son! I’m sorry this is happening to you. Good luck!” – JohnSavage777
OP and his family have some issues to work through for certain.
Dad needs to learn to prioritize and not hide things like this from his son if it’s a half day’s drive.