Content Warning: Affair, Cheating Partner, Descriptions of Sexual Acts
There’s nothing quite like the feeling that you love someone, want to have a marriage and children with them, and want to build a whole beautiful future with them.
There’s also nothing quite like the feeling that they not only don’t feel the same about you, but they also don’t think you’re “man enough” to be the only person they share a bedroom with, side-eyed the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Open-Dust8519 was fully committed to his girlfriend and had imagined a whole future together with her, but everything changed when they were on vacation and a pilot passed his girlfriend a note.
The note wasn’t just a phone number or a compliment. Come to find out, the Original Poster (OP) discovered a whole affair his girlfriend had participated in every time she flew for a work trip.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend over a note a pilot left for her?”
Something surprising happened on the OP’s vacation with his girlfriend.
“I am 31 (Male) and she is 30 (Female). We were flying yesterday after a four-day vacation, and while I was at the toilet in a coffee shop within the airport, she was left a note by a pilot. She smiled at him.”
“I am not controlling and insecure (or so I hope). I asked out of curiosity what the note was.”
“She told me it was her subway ticket that had fallen under the table. He picked it up for her. She indeed had her ticket on the table, so I didn’t really think too much about it. But her cheeks were a bit flushed.”
But there really was a note in addition to the subway ticket.
“But this morning, I found the real note he left for her. It had fallen out of her pocket, and I found it while I was doing the laundry. It was crumbled, and it was written by hand.”
“It read, ‘Drive you like a hammer on a bed of nails,’ plus a winking emoji. I googled that and it was a reference to a very sexy Alice Cooper song.”
“I still haven’t decided what to do. I will try to talk with her before ending this six-year relationship.”
When the OP confronted his girlfriend, her confession just got worse and worse.
“When I confronted her with the note, she admitted that they know each other. She flies often due to her job, and she met him during one of her flights, and they frequently run into each other now.”
“I asked to see her phone to see for myself, which she willingly showed me. She had chats with him in her text messages, but they weren’t sexual in nature.”
“She kept denying that anything was going on and called me controlling and blamed me for giving her a reason to keep this from me.”
“After thinking about it, I think his move was a power move. He wanted me to see him. He is better-looking and fitter than me.”
“I’m thinking of moving on, and she’s begging me not to and insists that she only wants me.”
“In an effort to stay together, thinking that being honest with me would make me forgive her, she showed me more. She also talked to him in another app, where she spoke to him in a way she never spoke to me and said she wanted to wear his uniform and more.”
“AITAH if I end this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that he was right to dump his girlfriend over this.
“Good for you for dumping her. And you’re right; she wouldn’t care or be crying if he had taken her. She doesn’t care about you.”
“You will find a faithful woman now that she’s not lying to your face and in the way.”
“It’ll hurt for a bit, but soon you will forget her pathetic a**.” – PolarBears445
“Bottom line, OP, she only gave a s**t about you and the impact of her infidelity when she discovered the dude didn’t want her. He was using her. He treated her in the manner she deserved.”
“Take to social media and tell ALL family, friends, and acquaintances of her betrayal and infidelity. Don’t allow her the opportunity to spin the narrative.”
“Change the locks. Block her. Go no contact. AND GET TESTED!” – Tight-Shift5706
“OP, on the brighter side, you should be thankful to the pilot’s ego for showing who your girlfriend truly is. If he hadn’t pulled that weird stunt instead of just texting, you’d still be in the dark.”
“Glad you saw it for what it is and made the call. Hope you find someone who respects and prioritizes you the way you deserve.” – jittarao
“Nope…. Stop communicating with her, my friend… She is manipulating you… And she is succeeding because she clearly still has control over you.”
“She still keeps you from moving on! She is a horrible person, and what she and that pilot did is just gross. She is not worth your time…”
“Block her on everything… And find some inner peace for yourself, my friend… You deserve it after all this!” – MiHo72
“It is what it is. There’s no shame in feeling the weight of infidelity. Processing it doesn’t mean you’ll stop loving them overnight, and it doesn’t mean you’ll immediately hate them either. But eventually, you lose respect. And once respect is gone, love can’t stand on its own.”
“You have all the right to feel it as deeply as you want: confusion, numbness, even love. That’s how you heal, you’re on the right track. Good luck. You were meant to find out.” – DrAsthma
Others were certain that karma would eventually knock on the OP’s ex-girlfriend’s door.
“She destroyed her life for a man who literally has her as an option. They probably thought it was ‘love’ when, in reality, it was just lust for him… She’s a loser. I know she broke your heart, but it seems like she broke hers too in the process and lost her dignity.”
“This is going to be a blessing in disguise. There’s always a purpose in pain that is caused by betrayal. You’re better off.”
“Also, this pilot is a bad person. Plain and simple. It’ll catch up to him. Eventually. It always does. This life or the next.” – Strong-Conclusion-52
“Say it with action. Let her feel it in your silence; that hits way harder. Don’t give her the pleasure of a reaction. She took you for a joke just to validate her pilot’s self-esteem.”
“Trading six years for sex flings with someone on work trips? That’s not a mistake. That’s a calculated betrayal.” – chainsawitlater
“Pilots cheat a lot. She knows she is only a sidepiece. She wants you to stay as a placeholder. With a bunch of lies and betrayals like that, I don’t trust her anymore. She deserves whatever she gets.” – succubusyoudrunk
“Kick her to the curb and make sure she stays there. Hold your head high, King.”
“She didn’t deserve your loyalty. You deserve way better. NTA.” – therealzackp
“Don’t waste any more time on her, OP. It’s time to not be depressed, to get to the gym, go to the salon, and freshen the f**k up if you think he’s so much better than you. Seriously, never let anyone make you feel that way. This is a reflection of her and her bad choices, not you and what you’re worthy of in a relationship.”
“NTA. You’re worthy of love and loyalty. She just wasn’t the person to give that to you.” – squodgenoggler
The OP later shared an unfortunate update in a second post.
“I threw her out. She has moved back with her parents in a small town as she has no money, and her flyboy will not allow her to move in with him.”
“I got checked for STIs and STDs, but I am a bit worried. After being together for so long, we were no longer using condoms, and it turns out they weren’t using them, either.”
“Trying to get my attention, she texted me in the middle of the night that she might be pregnant. We weren’t actively trying for a baby, but it was a plan for the near future. I am 99% sure she is lying.”
“But I said, ‘Fine, when you are sure we can make a paternity test’ (and she was offended). This is too much of a coincidence. But what if she is right?”
In the comments on the second post, the OP shared his final update.
“At your advice, I sent the guy some of the texts she sent me regarding him manipulating her. He answered me a few hours later with tens of laughing emojis and asked if I wanted to see (and asked again: like REALLY want to see some of the texts she sent me?).”
“I didn’t have time to say yes or no. He sent me tons of screenshots that really made me want to vomit. He finds it funny and empowering that he f*cked someone else’s woman.”
“I will block him. He is mocking me through messages. He finds this all very amusing.”
“Also, she admitted the pregnancy was fake. Anyway, I am so down and so devastated. I keep looking at that guy’s profile page and wonder what they had and if it was better than what we had.”
“I heard she might move in with him. At first, he said no, and that was why she begged me to allow her to stay. Her father is a drunk, and her mother is constantly depressed because of this. I, more or less, took her out of this poverty. She was terrified to go back home. She started asking me while crying, where should she go?”
“But it seems that he, in the end, agreed to allow her to live with him. Rent free. So she won.”
The subReddit was appalled on the OP’s behalf that he discovered such a gross affair, all through finding a note after going on vacation with his ex-girlfriend. Fortunately, he found all of this out before he had actually started the whole future he dreamed of having with her.
In the meantime, it seemed she’d managed to move in with the pilot.
Hopefully, he felt for her like she did for him and wasn’t one of those stereotypical pilots who had a different girlfriend in every country.