When you meet someone you are simply crazy about, you almost never want to leave their side.
Of course, this is more an expression than a reality.
Life will get in the way, and chances are you will have to part ways with your partner at some point.
Despite some people's efforts to remain at their partner's side at literally all times.
Redditor Eastern_Lettuce_4734 recently went on an outing with his fiancée and his family.
When the original poster (OP)'s fiancée needed to leave the room, she asked the OP to accompany her.
Despite the fact that it was interrupting the outing the OP and their family were so looking forward to.
When the OP and his fiancée got home, the OP's fiancée made her dissatisfaction with his lack of empathy well known.
Wondering if her anger was justified, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for not taking my fiancé to the restroom mid movie?"
The OP explained why his fiancée was furious with him after a night out at the movies:
"Me (21 M[ale]) and my fiancée (21 F[emale]) went with my family to watch The Odyssey."
"We were all excited since it’s been one of the most anticipated movies this year."
"About 20 minutes in, she grabbed my arm to cuddle."
"I like cuddling during movies, but with the theater armrests it was awkward and uncomfortable, so I pulled my arm back and sat normally."
"About 10 minutes later she whispered that her stomach was hurting. I quietly told her she’d be okay."
"Around 20 minutes later she mouthed that she needed to fart but didn’t want to because my family was sitting nearby."
"I told her if she needed to, it was okay."
"About 15-20 minutes later, she said the same thing again."
"Then another 20 minutes later she said she needed to use the restroom."
"I told her that if she needed to go, she should go."
"She asked me to come with her."
"I said no because I wanted to keep watching the movie, and since I didn’t need the restroom, I didn’t see the point in both of us leaving."
"Every 15-20 minutes for the rest of the movie she was tapping me and continued saying she needed to go and for me to go with her."
"I was getting irritated because I was trying to focus on the movie while being interrupted repeatedly."
"I kept telling her if she really needed to go to just go, but she kept insisting she didn’t want to go alone and wanted me to come with her."
"The repeated interruptions made it harder for me to follow the movie, and I started feeling more frustrated as it went on."
"When the credits rolled, I sarcastically said, 'Now you can go use the restroom since you were bothering me the whole movie'.”
"We all used the restroom, talked about the movie on the drive home, and everything seemed fine."
"When we got back to my house, she was clearly upset."
"I asked what was wrong, and she said I had put the movie ahead of her health."
"I responded that she is an adult and didn’t need me to accompany her to the restroom."
"She ended the conversation by saying, 'Yeah, I don’t need you'.”
"Later she texted that she has serious bathroom issues and that I wasn’t taking her health seriously."
"From my perspective, it never seemed like a medical emergency."
"It seemed like she wanted me to walk with her because she didn’t want to leave alone."
"She says I prioritized the movie over her, my sarcastic comment was rude, and I didn’t care about her health."
"I agree the comment was unnecessary, but I also felt it was inconsiderate to repeatedly interrupt the movie over something she was capable of handling herself."
"I don’t think she was unable to go because I didn’t accompany her."
"By the way, (just to rule this out) this is not an unsafe theater or area whatsoever."
"She would not be in any danger or harm walking anywhere in this theater alone."
"So, was I in the wrong here?"
"I’m looking for honest opinions."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for not accompanying their fiancée to the bathroom.
Everyone agreed that the OP's fiancée was old enough to go to the bathroom herself, with many even urging the OP to seriously consider how good an idea staying in this relationship was:
"NTA, are you sure? She's 21 years old and not only 2?"- Varazscapa
"NTA."
"Omg is your fiancée always this needy?"
"Did she seriously expect you to hold her hand and walk her to the bathroom like she is a toddler?"
"I can’t believe she actually referred to needing to fart as a 'health' concern."
"That’s ridiculous."
"Think twice about marrying this girl."
"She sounds like she’s a lot."
"This manipulative behavior is a red flag."- Own_Mention9372
"NTA."
"If it was that serious, then she would've gone with or without you without being able to wait."
"Signed, a woman with severe Crohn's Disease."- VanillaBlossom09
"NTA."
"But if I were you, I'd be seriously rethinking things."
"Your fiancee is 21 years old and incapable of using a bathroom alone, or shutting up until the movie is done. I'd hazard a guess this isn't her first display of immaturity."
"The fact she ended the discussion with 'I don't need you' is passive aggressive and manipulative."
"At 21 you are both very, very young."
"The communicative issues and lack of maturity show that marriage is probably not the right move for now."- WritingRabbitxNTA.
"An adult doesn't need company to go to the restroom; and it's not as though you'd be able to go in anyway."
"OTOH - it sounds like she was expecting more of your attention; and it may have been another attention-seeking ploy."
"Not clear whether it was just something light, or if she has specific issues driving the 'neediness'."- myze551ml
"NTA."
"She's behaving like a pathetic little child."
"She needs to grow the eff up."
"I'm beyond annoyed on your behalf."- WayMoreCowbell
"An able-bodied adult, of the opposite gender nonetheless, needed you to accompany them to the bathroom in a movie theatre?"
"What am I reading?"
"NTA."
"It seems she didn't like the movie and wanted to ruin it for you too."- Envelope_Torture
"NTA."
"You're engaged to an emotionally manipulative child."
"Get out!"- MelodyMuse24xo
"NTA."
"Does your fiancé normally behave this way?"
"And do you indulge her? "
"If so, it’s a pattern, and you should think before you marry her."
"If not, was there a specific trigger?"
"Maybe just something she had eaten or somebody made her feel a certain way."
"Might be worth having an honest conversation to know what’s happened."- pepper_t
"NTA."
"Are you marrying her or adopting her?"- Wise_Session_5370
"NTA."
"She's an adult, she can go to the bathroom without someone holding her hand, even for a 'serious bathroom issue', whatever that is. It can't be much of a health issue if you're engaged, and this is the first you're hearing about it."- LorLorSilver
"35F here with no issues taking myself to the bathroom (or farting in front of my in-laws, for that matter lol)."
"If she has bathroom issues so severe that she can't go to the bathroom by herself, she needs to see a doctor, not a movie."\
"NTA."- klaw14
"NTA."
"She's being a complete immature dolt."
"She needs to apologize for her behavior and attitude."
"Plus, no one wants to smell her nasty farts in the movie theater."- Traditional_Chino
"DING DONG!"
"OP, you did it!"
"You wrote the one post to unite all of Reddit voting NTA."- Easy-Midnight-6687
"NTA."
"Major red flag behavior to be honest, the constant need for attention (what this seems to be) is going to get old."- laja7
"NTA the only health issue is how unhealthy her codependency is."
"I’m also quite an anxious girly but choosing to be so uncomfortable for 2+ hours is insane to me."
"Idk if it would make her feel more secure or just worsen her anxiety, but when my partner and I go out to concerts and other large, busy venues where we might be separated and not have the best cell service, we often have Bluetooth bracelets on and they buzz+light up when the other person presses it."
"While we’ve never needed to, if the button is spammed then it’s our SOS message."
"My worry about introducing something like this is that she would abuse it by constantly crying wolf."- Iplaythebaboon
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
However, it's hard to imagine that the OP's fiancée couldn't walk herself the presumably short distance from the movie theater to the bathroom.
This gives the impression that she needs to be attended to every waking moment.
Something the OP should seriously consider before going through with this marriage.
