We'd like to think that we can always rely on our family.
For too many people, however, that sadly just isn't the case.
Many people constantly find themselves let down by their family.
Even more shockingly, it is often these family members who let us down who often expect things from us.
Redditor why_wouldi had a somewhat strained relationship with her family.
Thankfully, the original poster (OP)'s relationship with her sister had greatly improved, resulting in her often helping her out when she needed it.
Knowing this, the OP's father hoped she would provide the same assistance to him.
Something the OP flatly refused.
After being told she needed to "act like an adult", the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for not babysitting my dad’s kids but babysitting my niece?"
The OP explained why they were willing to babysit their niece, but not their half-siblings:
"So, I (34 F[emale]) have a sister (37 F[emale]) who has a three-year-old daughter."
"My sister and I had a weird relationship growing up and honestly, when she announced her pregnancy I thought it would even go down more, but it turned out to be the opposite."
"We became closer than we ever were."
"And although I am not really a kid person, I LOVE my niece like no other child."
"I do whole weekend babysitting once a month or every second month while my sister and BIL go on outings or get things done."
"I view babysitting as a HUGE favor to the parents, so this is honestly the only person I would ever babysit for."
"Now it gets complicated."
"My dad's gf is closer in age to me than to him, which honestly disgusts me to begin with."
"They have two children together, a two-year-old and a baby."
"There is so much backstory, but my childhood was not the best in many aspects; there was abandonment and physical punishment."
"There were good times, but the bad times traumatized me to the point I've been in therapy for years now, so when my dad announced his gf's first pregnancy I was hurt."
"I, of course, was polite, but I was not genuinely happy like I was with my sister's pregnancy."
"When I see them, I am polite to her and the kids, but I do not love them; for me, it's like any other child."
"I'm nice, but I don't babysit ever."
"Recently, my dad asked me to watch their kids for an evening/night, so they could go on a date."
"Mind you, he asked me while his girlfriend was present, which made it even more uncomfortable, but I politely declined."
"She asked me why I treat 'my siblings' so differently to how I treat my niece and accused me of favoritism."
"I was honestly flabbergasted by that, because I would never even think of treating her the same way as my sister."
"I told her, 'Because you're not my sister, although age-wise you could be, and those kids aren't my responsibility."
"Babysitting is a gift to the parents, and I decide who I wanna give gifts to."
"My niece brought so much happiness to my life, while your kids brought up all my trauma."
"You and dad chose to have them, so don't burden me with that choice."
"She screamed about how I need to start acting like an adult and let go of the past."
"I told her I will never give her free childcare and left."
"My dad later blew up my phone about how his children are my siblings, and he wants me to have a bond with them."
"I don't view them as my siblings, I am old enough to be their aunt (they are literally younger than my niece ffs). We don't share both parents; our upbringings will not even be similar. I grew up in poverty, was abandoned and abused, and they are growing up in abundance with two loving parents with zero abuse."
"Of course, that's what they deserve. I would not want them to have the life I had, but I also don't want to be intertwined in that life and have to witness it closely or even help the man who abandoned me be a better father."
"AITA for never babysitting my dad's kids although I do my sister's?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for refusing to babysit her half-siblings.
Everyone agreed that the OP was willing to babysit her niece because her sister made an effort to improve their relationship, something the OP's father did not, and thus did not deserve her help:
"NTA."
"But this was all you needed to say: 'Babysitting is a gift to the parents, and I decide who I wanna give gifts to'.”
"It’s fair, concise, says everything."
"You don’t owe your father anything with his do-over family."
"Consider whether you want to lower contact."
"Signed someone who is NC with their entitled, abusive father."- Count_ClapBacula
"NTA."
"Honestly, no surprise that the girlfriend would be so nasty and entitled."
"I guess your dad was drawn to her because they have so much in common."
"By the way, this:"
"I told her 'because you're not my sister, although age-wise you could be, and those kids aren't my responsibility'."
"Is a real chef's kiss moment lol."
"Brava on standing up for yourself against her pathetic attempt at adult bullying!"- Dapper-Survey1964
"NTA you are old enough to be their mother."
"Can’t the grandparents step up?"
"As in her parents."- Jonathan-Welford
"NTA."
"You don't owe these entitled people anything."
"Your dad is disgusting for having kids with someone who could be his daughter."
"And his girlfriend is disgusting for thinking she has some superior rank to you to demand you to babysit her kids just because she fucked your dad."- Frankensteins_Kid
"NTA."
"Your closer with your sis, so it makes sense, but your dad shouldn't expect free babysitting from you. Sounds like boundaries are needed there."- BerrymirellaMist
"NTA."
"You are old enough to choose who you babysit for."
"If they don’t like it, they can always pay someone to do it."- Oh_Look_A_Quokka
"NTA."
"It's weird that everyone telling you to act like an adult is insisting."
"They get to tell you what to do as if you're a child."
"As you say, babysitting is a favor you're doing for the parents, and you aren't obligated to do these people favors."- rmric0
"What kind of 'sibling' bond are you going to have with children 30+ years younger than you?"
"Given the context, these are just like any other kids you may come in contact with."
"Your father CHOSE to have children at his age with a woman who would have no support system when he was gone."
"It is his RESPONSIBILITY to accept it and do what he needs to."
"Sounds like he is the type to push off responsibility a lot. Continue to stand strong and don't take it from him; you are under no obligation unless you truly desire to know and be in these kids' lives."
"NTA."- Odd-End-1405
"NTA."
"She is nothing more than a stranger on the street who has children."
"How often have you walked past people like that and never thought about it?"
"They are nothing to you."
"A sign of emotional maturity is dating in your own age range."
"Your 'dad' is emotionally immature."
"Now, he is making his problems yours."
"Abusive people do two things."
"One is the demonstrated abuse."
"Another is they are like a parasite, living inside us."
"Your 'dad' is doing that, trying to wear you down from inside."
"His GF is a mirror of him."
"She is doing the outbursts of abuse while working on being a parasite inside of you."
"Go full no contact."
"They have no place in your life."
"They add nothing."
"They subtract from you when they are around."
"Do not keep abusive, dangerous people close to you."- My_igloo_is_melting
"NTA."
"Apparently he doesn't see you as his child and gives you nothing, yet he expects you to babysit his children?"
"What kind of father is he?"
"He is so selfish. Please cut him and his gf."
"They can live with money and attention; you don't owe them anything."- EmploymentCheap8112
"NTA."
"You don't owe your Dad or his GF free babysitting."
"They can hire a sitter."
"If you don't have a relationship with their kids, it's more likely because your Dad and his GF don't treat you well."- teresajs
One can get a sense of the OP's childhood based on the fact that her father expects her to be at his beck and call.
His children with his current wife are lucky, as they will apparently grow up with a very different, more loving father than the OP.
What's simply tragic, however, is that the OP's father shows little to no interest in rectifying the hurt and pain he caused the OP growing up.
