Most people always want to help their family out whenever they are able to do so.
However, always being at their beck and call can be somewhat risky.
As frequently offering them help could lead to them depending on you a little too much.
So on a rare occasion when you aren’t available to provide help, they might not be so sympathetic.
The mother of Redditor BreakfastRelative664 was about to head out on her honeymoon with her new husband.
Much to the original poster (OP)’s surprise, their mother told them they would have to babysit their siblings while they were away.
Something the OP made very clear to their mother and stepmother, they were simply unable to do.
After receiving a fair amount of blowback from many friends and family members, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not babysitting my 2 siblings during my mom honeymoon?”
The OP explained why they were unable to help their mother out:
“Okay, I don’t think I am the a**hole but everyone is telling me I am so i need extra points of view here.”
“I am 17 and i just started university.”
“My mom married ‘Marcus’ one month ago and she is going on her honeymoon this month.”
“The duration is 4 days.”
“I am the older sister, I have 2 siblings one 12 and other 4.”
“And my mother told me I would have to babysit them while she and her husband are in their honeymoon.”
“I’ve always babysat them in the afternoon since both my mom and Marcus work.”
“But I can only babysit them after 3pm, cause of my classes.”
“I told them they would have to get a babysitter for the morning because the 12 is in school already but the 4 year old isn’t, and i cant just miss 4 entire days of classes to stay with him.”
“She said she can’t do that because they spent a lot of money on this honeymoon and the wedding and they are also paying a loan they used to buy a land to build a house.”
“I told her, that I really can’t miss this classes, I study medicine so watching the classes is extremely important, not to mention I have practice classes which I have a limited amount of times I can’t miss.”
“She insisted saying it was a one time thing and that ‘she can’t have anything’.”
“Marcus said I had this responsibility since I’m their older sister.”
“I refused, and they are telling everyone about it, and everyone is taking their side.”
“I don’t get it?”
“Am I being selfish here?”
“I have classes from 9am to 3pm almost everyday.”
“The 12y enters school at 8:15 so i can drop him off.”
“But i cant leave the 4y alone and I can’t also stay home to be with him.”
“Please tell me if I’m in the wrong and be brutally honest.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to skip class to babysit their siblings.
Everyone agreed that if this honeymoon trip was as important to her mother and stepmother as she said, then she should have also taken childcare into account, with many shocked that she didn’t want the OP to prioritize her education:
“NTA.”
“Your mother’s poor planning is not your emergency.”
“This is something she should have discussed with you, not demanded, long before the plans were set.”
“And of course you shouldn’t miss your classes.”- GreekAmericanDom
“‘Marcus said i had this responsibility since I’m their older sister’.”
“What the hell is wrong with adults?”
“This isn’t your responsibility and it’s your problem.”
“They need to find an adult to help them.”
“NTA.”- slendermanismydad
“So they organized a honeymoon but not child care.”
“NTA.”
“It is not your responsibility to discard classes because your mother and Marcus are careless in their planning.”
“You are a good sibling for offering to look after them in the evenings.”- day-dreamersins69
“NTA.”
“Your mom and step dad should realize the importance of your classes and that you can’t miss that many days.”
“It could ruin your whole semester, each class covers so much information.”
“Have mom and Marcus gone to University?”
“They should know better and they should find another sitter for when you are in school.”-Positive_Comfort1216
“NTA.”
“You have classes, and you can’t miss your classes (except of course, if you were too sick to go, and then you’d be too sick to babysit).”
“It is not right to have anyone, especially a sibling, miss classes or work to provide child care unless the parent is dying or hospitalized.”
“In that case, it might be excused.”
“I suspect this situation is partly due to the fact that you are only 17 and have just started university.”
“Many parents have difficulty accepting that as a child becomes an adult and moves on to adult activities like university, the parents can no longer control their schedules and responsibilities.”
“That’s no excuse for them pressuring you, though.”
“Maybe you can suggest that the ‘everyone’ who wants you to skip school, missing important work in a difficult program, can do the babysitting, at least for the younger child.”
“You’ve offered to drop off the older one at school and pick him or her up afterwards, and that’s a reasonable, even generous, compromise.”- SavingsRhubarb8746
“NTA.”
“You’re not even a legal adult.”
“She’s expecting you ditch school while she’s away to be her unpaid 24hr childcare.”-GingerWhoDrinksTea
“NTA.”
“They should have partied smaller, picked a shorter or less expensive honeymoon hotel/country/… whatever.”
“It’s NOT your responsibility.”
“Studying medicine is usually already very stressful, depending on the country, also expensive, the restriction of about how many hours you are allowed to miss to still pass not that unusual, do the ‘everybody’ people know about that too?”
“Like it can mean you have to repeat the year for 4 days of ‘want’ from your mother?”
“Maybe they got told a twisted version, maybe they try to pressure you so they wont have to look after the 4y old?”- BothTreacle7534
“NTA!”
“You are in school and have commitments.”
“And you did not say no.”
“You told her what you can do!”
“You made a reasonable request for her to find coverage for the day as a 4 year old can not go to class with you.”
“Your mother cannot expect you to drop your academic commitments because she is traveling.”
“Especially when finals are around the corner.”
“Do you have friends on campus that you trust that you could ask for help?”
“If not, your mom needs to finds someone for the four days.”- jmg4craigslists
“NTA.”
“You are not responsible for their poor financial planning.”
“If they could not afford to do all three (wedding, honeymoon, and buying land) then they should have prioritized between the wedding and buying land, or the honeymoon and buying land, rather than expecting you to bear the burden of being the unpaid babysitter.”
“As a student, your education comes first.”
“Missing classes or practice sessions could affect your grades and long-term future, which is something no one should ask you to sacrifice.”
“A responsible parent wouldn’t ask their child to skip school so they can go on a honeymoon.”
“You’re not being selfish, you’re just setting healthy boundaries.”- Unable-Question8252
“NTA.”
“First of all, ur not a third parent.”
“Second of all, they didn’t ask, they told.”
“N third of all, no honeymoon is more important than education.”
“If they needed u to babysit they should have A, asked and B, planned the honeymoon for a time when u would be out of class.”- PuzzleheadedData3023
The OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment, and sharing how things turned out regarding childcare for her siblings:
“I am compeletly grateful with all the advice people are giving me, and the support they are showing.”
“If you are reading this and left a comment, or if you are simply reading, thank you!”
“It’s heartwarming seeing all the comments. I never thought my situation would bring this much support!”
“But i talked with one of my cousins and he accepted taking care of my 4y brother during the time I’m in class.”
“His wife loves kids, and they don’t have any yet, so she said it would be a good experience!”
“I haven’t told my mother, so I’m not sure how she’ll react!”
It would be one thing if this were an emergency, and the OP’s mother needed her help.
However, this was something she could have planned for months in advance, and could have come up with an alternative plan.
The fact that the OP still found a solution to this problem before either of her parental figures did only further demonstrate that she possesses the maturity both of them lack.