We don't often realize that falling in love often comes with many downsides.
Nearly all people will need to make sacrifices of various sizes to accommodate their partners at one point or another.
If there is one downside of being a couple that almost anyone can relate to, it's their in-laws.
Some are lucky and manage to have as good or better a relationship with their in-laws as they do with their parents, while for others, the less they see their in-laws, the better.
The son Redditor Otherwise_Mammoth191 was recently married.
While it turned out to be a beautiful wedding, the behavior of the original poster (OP)'s mother-in-law (MIL), was anything but beautiful.
Even leading the OP to plan on going "no contact" with her as a result.
Wondering if she was overreacting, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for going no contact with my in-laws after my MIL did things out of spite at my son’s wedding?"
The OP explained why they planned on cutting off all contact with their MIL:
"Me (48 F[emale]) & husband, Ryan (42 M[ale]) have been together for years."
"My grown children are not his biologically but he has always treated them (& our grandchildren) like his own."
"My son (28 M[ale]) got married June 2026 & had a beautiful wedding!"
"My in-laws have always from day 1 been invited to any kind of my family functions, we’ve alway welcomed them with open arms."
"Things have been fine in the past, my MIL (65 F[emale]) has always been kind of a rude person but overall we just overlooked her comments & let it go."
"My husband always just said 'it’s just how she is'.”
"Come this past May it was my husband’s birthday & we had dinner reservations with his parents for Saturday evening to celebrate."
"The night before (Friday) my husband had a little too much birthday celebration & we ended up having a disagreement….over me seeing a male gyno."
"I work at an OB office so we all see the docs, makes life much easier for us & we don’t have to pay for the visit."
"Well my husband made a really rude & stupid comment that hurt my feelings really bad."
"So I told him I was canceling going to his birthday dinner."
"I left Saturday morning & he texted me asking when I’d be home."
"I asked him what time he was leaving & he said about 2:30p, I replied 'I’ll be home after 2:30p then'."
"I then nicely texted his mom & told her I apologized but wasn’t going to make it to dinner that night."
"Now I don’t know what Ryan said to her, but I got home about 3p he was still home & was on the phone with his parents in the garage."
"I went in the house & he came in later & no lie looked me straight in the eyes and said 'you can leave'."
"He’s NEVER said that to me in all the years we been together."
"The way my head spun around & I think I spit fire must have scared him lol because he froze & I said 'I’ll burn this house down before you will ever tell me to leave'.”
"By the end of the evening, and a whole lot of yelling later we worked it out."
"Now his mom used to call me at least 2 times a week."
"Faithfully for years."
"After that, I didn’t get one text or one call for 5 weeks."
"Until the wedding."
"Now here’s where the drama starts."
"Wedding days are BIG."
"Ceremony is 4:30p, guests arrive starting at 3:30, my in-laws show up & my FIL sees us and tells how us how beautiful everything is & how wonderful we look!"
"My MIL, her first words are 'oh look at your boobs hanging out, I bet Ryan loves those!'”
"For context I had a beautiful silk navy blue long formal dress on with a low plunge neckline with spaghetti straps!"
"Very elegant, and yes I have 38 D cups but the dress made them look great lol."
"Strike one."
"Anyways the wedding starts & all of it goes off without a hitch, then it’s reception time."
"My parents, my in-laws & some of my extended family is at our assigned table."
"Typical reception stuff & it comes to the maid of honor & best man speech."
"Now my oldest son was the best man (29 M[ale]) and my boys are 19 months apart so they have been best friends since they were born!"
"So my son’s speech was cute & funny & from the heart."
"Now in the middle of it, my MIL has the audacity to sigh as loud as she could not once but twice, pick up her plate & fan herself & loudly say 'I’m so hungry'."
"Meanwhile my mom & aunt are watching her & side eyeing me like WTF?"
"It was all I could do to keep myself together."
"But I did."
"Then it’s time for a quick prayer before dinner…and my MIL is like 'oh god come on' like really?"
"Ok strike 2."
"We get dinner & the DJ announces the dances coming up."
"Well anyone who knows me knew how much the mother/son dance meant to me! I picked a super special song for it & I was so excited to have this moment with my son."
"As soon as my MIL heard that, she got up & said 'ok, well we’re leaving now'."
"I was like 'don’t you want to stay & see the dance with Riley?'”
"She said just a blatant 'nope' and grabbed 4 cupcakes & cookies on her way out."
"That was it!"
"The rest of the night was a blast & everything I had hoped it would be for my son & DIL."
"The next day comes & my other DIL (28F) calls me & says 'Nana (my mom) called her'."
" I was like 'oh boy what now?'”
"She said my MIL (Donna) walked up to my mom in front of my family & told her 'your dress is terrible, it looks like you’re going to a funeral'."
"Stunned, my mom didn’t know what to say or anyone else, she just said 'thanks'.”
"Lol."
"That was the last straw."
"I marched in the house told my husband what happened & said you better do something about this."
"And his response was 'What do you want me to do? She’s my mom'."
"I said I want you to call her out on her behavior, which is completely unacceptable!"
"After 4 days of us having this conversation about how he should handle it, he said he wasn’t."
"So I did."
"And I sent her a long text outlining all the things she did mentioned above & how very rude she was when she was graciously invited to the wedding as family."
"I told her that as of now, I’m going no contact with them & as far as I’m concerned they are not welcome to anymore family functions until she can apologize for her behavior."
"It’s been 6 weeks and she refuses to apologize & told my husband that they do not care about me at all."
"Now my husband says he stuck in the middle & I should just apologize for my text."
"I refuse to apologize for anything because I did not create this situation."
"My MIL did this all out of spite for being mad at me over the birthday dinner & my husband agrees with that, but still enables her behavior."
"He refuses to stand up to his parents for me."
"So AITAH for going no contact with my in-laws?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was doing the right thing by going no contact with her MIL.
That being said, just about everyone agreed that the OP's real problem was not with her MIL, but rather with her husband:
"NTA."
"But do you really want to stay with a man who doesn't defend you?"
"Ir have your back in any meaningful way?"
"Sounds like whatever mommy says, he agrees with."- Vegetable_Title5889
"NTA for going non contact, she sounds awful."
"Your husband is the problem."
"He’s obviously talking sh*t about you to his parents when you fight and chooses to allow MIL to act out of line."
"Sounds like he is more like MIL than you think."- askashleythatsme8
"NTA."
"But you do have a husband problem."- Stock_Particular6525
"NTA."
"For going no contact with your in-laws, but I have to wonder why you're not having similar boundaries with your husband!"
"His behavior towards you is absolutely not okay, and tbh is a much bigger problem in my eyes."- ItsAllALot
"NTA."
"Your husband sounds like a weak pathetic man."
"Tell him to read the replies to this post which I am sure will be illuminating."
"I am also sure your telling of this story isn't with out it's own bias, you are likely not some perfect angel."
"That said, the fact she used her own grandson's wedding as a way to get back at you is pathetic and your husband is a coward for allowing it and trying to justify it."
"For God sake man, grow the hell up and defend your family."
"Even if you thought your wife was wrong, it was never your son's fault."
"Take your balls back from mommy's purse and defend your family."- Odd_Welcome7940
It's astonishing that anyone would behave the way the OP's MIL did at their own grandchild's wedding.
What's possibly even more astonishing, however, is the fact that the OP's husband didn't seem the slightest bit perturbed by this.
The OP's husband had better take note of the OP's decision to go no contact with his, as a similar future might await him if he doesn't change his behavior...
