Anyone who has spent any amount of time reading Reddit stories knows that there have been a lot of nightmare marriages in the world.
Fortunately, every once in a while, a person will uncover their nightmare partner before they are officially married, celebrated the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Experiencing tremendous success at work, Redditor JustWalrus8043 was touched when her future brother-in-law wanted to go into business with her but politely rejected his offer, being comfortable where she was.
When he tried to completely dismantle her professional life to force her to work with him, the Original Poster (OP) was relieved when her sister called off the wedding over it.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for rejecting my sister’s fiancé’s job offer and ruining everything?”
The OP was super happy for her sister and future brother-in-law (BIL).
“I’m a 23-year-old female, and I’m not sure if I’m the a**hole in this situation. So, here it goes.”
“My sister, Anna (27 Female), has always been the golden child. She’s smart, beautiful, and now engaged to a wonderful guy named Mike (29 Male). Though she’s the favorite, I adore her.”
“Mike is the kind of guy who makes everyone feel special, and I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to Anna. I couldn’t be happier for her… until recently.”
The OP was doing very well at work, which Mike noticed.
“Three years ago, I started my dream job as a graphic designer at a prestigious company. It wasn’t easy to get in, and I had to work my a** off to prove myself.”
“Fast forward to a few months ago, our company started a big project, and I was chosen as the lead designer. This was my big break.”
“One evening, Mike dropped by my apartment to discuss something ‘important.’ I assumed it was about the wedding, but I was wrong.”
“He told me he had a business proposal. Mike had recently started his own tech company and needed a creative mind like mine.”
“He offered me a position as the head of design with a significant pay raise and promised equity in the company.”
“It was tempting, but I politely declined. I loved my job, and I didn’t want to mix family with business.”
Mike did not take the OP’s rejection well.
“Here’s where things get messy. Mike didn’t take my rejection well. He became pushy, trying to persuade me by any means necessary.”
“I stood my ground, thinking it was over.”
“But then, weird things started happening at work. Rumors about me slacking off and missing deadlines spread like wildfire.”
“My boss, who had always trusted me, started questioning my work ethic. Projects were reassigned, and my reputation took a hit.”
“Last week, I was called into a meeting with HR and my boss. They had ‘evidence’ of me leaking confidential information to a competitor. I was in shock and denied everything.”
“They showed me emails sent from my work account, which I had never sent.”
“I was suspended pending further investigation.”
The truth of what had happened was soon uncovered.
“Devastated, I went to Anna’s place to seek comfort. As I was explaining everything to her, Mike walked in.”
“He looked guilty, and it hit me. I confronted him, demanding to know if he had anything to do with this.”
“After a tense standoff, he admitted to hacking into my email and sending those emails to sabotage me. He thought if I had no job, I’d be forced to join his company.”
“Anna was horrified and broke off the engagement on the spot.”
The people in the OP’s life were divided over what had happened.
“Now, my family is divided. My parents are furious with Mike but are also blaming me for ‘provoking’ him by rejecting his offer. They think I should have just accepted the job to keep the peace.”
“Anna is supportive, but she’s devastated. I feel horrible for how this worked out for her.”
“My friends are telling me to take legal action, but I’m scared of the repercussions.”
“So, Reddit, was I wrong for rejecting my sister’s fiancé’s job offer and causing this mess?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some encouraged the OP to go “scorched earth” and take immediate legal action.
“Okay, here’s what I think you should do:”
“1. Take legal action.”
“2. Inform your employer of what transpired.”
“3. Find out how he hacked into your work email and take measures to prevent another hacker from doing the same. The most common method of hacking is simple social engineering, so be more careful with your work account, even if you are with trusted people.”
“4. Have a talk with your parents about how blaming you for this helps no one, and that they’re defending the person who broke one of their daughters’ heart and put the other one’s livelihood and reputation at jeopardy.”
“I’m sure, what they said came from a place of shock and confusion and that they do not actually blame you for ‘provoking’ him, but if I’m wrong, act on that, too. Godspeed. NTA.” – BickWick
“The company needs to know that they are vulnerable. And you need to clear your reputation. That mark on your record will haunt you forever otherwise.”
“Also, the company needs to know so they can sue this insane guy. Also, let the police department know, making sure you mention he ‘hacked a local corporation and leaked sensitive documentation’ to get their behinds in gear.”
“NTA. Legal actions are a must.” – misteraustria27
“Give them Mike’s name and contact info, as well as all the documents you can find on his new company, and hand it all over to the management team at work.”
“Have your sister write a statement about what she witnessed, and the admission of guilt he made, and that she took it seriously enough to break off the engagement.”
“A tech company’s legal team will have a field day with this. Mike committed some seriously illegal acts. Hacking the work email of an employee of your competitor and accessing proprietary information is FBI-level bad.” – ObscureSaint
“Go f**king scorched earth, OP. Tell your company you want to take FULL legal action, including lawsuits for any loss of business or leaked secrets, against Mike. Tell them you want him criminally charged for anything he did to the company.”
“Tell them that he is NOT your family and you want NO deference given. You would like their legal team to approach this as if he is a malicious intruder from a competitor, not a family member, and go full attack mode.”
“You want them to unleash the hounds, and you personally will be doing your own legal action.”
“Then get a lawyer. Sue him for hacking your personal device, and for slandering your reputation. Any decent lawyer can find five to ten different things to sue him for, and criminal charges to request he be charged with.”
“F**K MIKE. He tried to ruin your career. He deserves NO sympathy. And if any family members try to excuse him, honestly, they aren’t worth your time. Go no contact with the f**king lot of them if that’s what it takes. Not including your sister, who killed her wedding over this; she sounds like a good egg.” – SirEDCaLot
Others agreed and were concerned about the family having someone like Mike in their lives.
“Is this the kind of person your parents really want in their family? Someone who can’t accept ‘no’?”
“What if he needs bail money because of his ‘business’ and no one is able or willing to help and then he sabotages the family in such a vile or worse way?”
“What if something comes to light about him and your sister’s relationship where she has to leave him, and he can’t accept?”
“What if their future children disagree with his want (religion, activity, career path, school choice, sexual orientation, etc.)?
“Behavior like this isn’t limited to ‘business ventures.’ Please be careful. NTA.” – FaustsAccountant
“This is insanely, insanely controlling of him, and not a good sign for what would happen if your sister and he were at odds. What would he do to HER? What would he do to their KIDS, if they didn’t do what he wanted all the time?”
“Honestly, I think this is letting your sister dodge a bullet.”
“(I ESPECIALLY don’t like that he did this because you didn’t put your livelihood and future into his hands. What’s next, he forces your parents to move into his basement?)” – Both-Condition2553
“Your parents are disturbed that… what? You were acting from your own integrity, and you exposed sociopathic behaviors in your dear sister’s fiance, and saved her from a likely unsafe marriage? What the actual f**k???”
“I swear, some parents become so obsessed with their daughters ‘being married’ at all freaking costs, they’ll overlook anything else. So what if he’s a manipulative piece of s**t, so what if he’s willing to burn someone’s professional future to the ground, at least he was willing to marry her, it’s all good.”
“Jeez, they’re acting like he was the only man in the world. There are plenty more out there. And the fact that your sister immediately stood up for you and took such an important life event off the table tells me that there is someone way better out there looking for her.” – Gnd_flpd
“I’m so sad (and mad) for OP that her parents accused her of not ‘keeping the peace’ over this. Like… what? How the f**k was OP supposed to know that her saying ‘no’ to his offer would result in this? ‘You provoked him.’ No, she said ‘no’ in response to a yes-or-no question. She did not ‘provoke’ him.”
“It’s ridiculous that they expect OP to make life-altering decisions like this just to make the family happy. That’s insane.” – Bice_thePrecious
The subReddit was nothing short of appalled over what had happened over the OP simply not wanting to join another business venture in addition to her successful one.
It was clear that the OP needed to take action, not just to clear her name but to potentially protect her family. If Mike reacted this way over something prospective like this, how would he behave over something more serious, like purchasing a home or how many kids they’d have?