Borrowing clothes is a common occurrence between loved ones.
As long as people take of one another’s garments, there usually isn’t a problem.
But sometimes the ask to borrow is a step too far.
Not every piece of clothing is meant to be on loan.
And that decision is usually for very specific reasons.
Redditor MorningSparrow8 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to let my sister borrow my expensive dress to wear to my ex-fiancé’s wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I (30 F[emale]) have a younger sister, Mia (27 F), and we’ve always had a complicated relationship.”
“She’s often been jealous of me and my achievements. “
“Last year, my fiancé, Ben, dumped me super suddenly and very publicly.”
“He’s now engaged to my former ‘friend,’ Zoe.”
“Their wedding is next month, and honestly, this whole thing has been rough on me.”
“Recently, I bought a stunning, expensive designer dress for a fancy charity event I’m going to next month.”
“It’s a special dress, and I felt like I deserved to treat myself after everything.”
“Yesterday, Mia saw the dress and immediately asked to borrow it to wear to Ben and Zoe’s wedding.”
“She said, ‘It’s perfect! I need to look amazing, and you’re not even using it right now.”’
“I was floored.”
“I told her no, that it’s for my event, and it would feel so wrong for her to wear it to that wedding.”
“She got super mad and called me ridiculous and selfish, telling our parents I’m a terrible sister for saying no.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for not letting her borrow my dress, especially for that wedding?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Your sister is the AH for even asking to borrow an expensive designer dress that you haven’t even worn yet.” ~ LdiJ46
“Oh, she totally knows how you would feel about it.”
“HER PLAN IS TO HURT YOU MORE!!!”
“She wants to rub your face in the wedding drama.”
“Is she gonna tell people at the wedding, it’s your dress?”
“Absolutely not.”
“And then when you wear it at your event, everyone is gonna assume you borrowed it from her and you’re wearing a secondhand dress.”
“Was she one of the people who knew you were being cheated on?”
“PLEASE, PLEASE HIDE THE DRESS!!!” ~ Icy_Trade_8781
“NTA. You’re under no obligation to loan your dress to anyone for any reason.”
“That your sister wants to wear it to the wedding of an ex just makes her the A**H***.”
“If it matters to your parents enough that they get involved, suggest that they buy her a new dress.” ~ Individual_Ad_9213
“NTA – hold to your no.”
“Your sister is going to a wedding of your ex and former friend, when just last year you were engaged to that man, and he humiliated you.”
“In addition, she wants to wear an outfit you splurged in to make yourself feel better for that wedding.”
“I think there is only one terrible sister here, and it’s not you.” ~ Kami_Sang
“It wouldn’t matter if your sister were going to the White House or the Met Gala–she is not entitled to your dress.”
“The correct response to being called ‘selfish’ is, ‘No, you’re just unreasonably entitled. A reasonable person wouldn’t even think of asking.'”
“NTA!” ~ Purple_Kiwi5476
“You have to put your dress in a safe place, where your entitled and b*tch sister can’t reach it.”
“NTA, of course.” ~ Only-Kiwi7622
“NTA and word of advice… Never let anyone borrow your clothes or anything else.”
“I’ve found folks either don’t respect your clothes, and if they return them, they’re damaged, or they don’t return them at all.” ~ celtic_glitter
“Right!?!!!! The ex’s wedding isn’t even the important part here.”
“It’s just, NO you can’t borrow my expensive nice dress – for ANYTHING!!”
“Buy your own damn dress!” ~ Sweaty-Blacksmith572
“You’re 27 and 30 years old, why is your sister still crying to mommy and daddy that she’s not getting her way?”
“That irritates me for one, but what kind of sister would go to that wedding, knowing how much those people hurt you?”
“And in your expensive dress no less?”
“Time to step away from your sister for a while.”
“She clearly doesn’t care about your feelings, just herself. NTA.” ~ forgetregret1day
“NTA. Don’t let her use the dress.”
“She isn’t entitled to use it just because you are related.”
“She’s being disrespectful and doesn’t care.”
“Tell her to buy her own dress.”
“Hide the dress.”
“She might try to steal it or ruin it.” ~ Angelinasmashington
“NTA. It’s your dress, you haven’t even worn it to your thing yet!”
“You don’t have to loan anyone anything for any reason.” ~ rmric0
“NTA. Remove all the baggage of your sibling relationship and the event she’s going to for a second.”
“Why would you let someone wear an expensive dress that you bought for a specific occasion before you even got to wear it?”
“Nobody would agree to that, and asking to be allowed to borrow a dress in that particular situation is pretty ridiculous.”
“I would say don’t give it a second thought, stick to your refusal.”
“Also, to put back in the context of your situation, I wouldn’t trust your sister to not get the dress dirty or damaged before you can wear it, so extra hard no.” ~ sarahmegatron
“NTA. You wouldn’t be TA for declining to let even a sister you had a flawless relationship with wear it to even some totally innocuous event.”
“It’s your dress to do with as you please.”
“Other people are not entitled to your stuff just because they want it, full stop.”
“Not even your sister.”
“That it’s a sister with whom you have a ‘complicated’ relationship, who is attending the wedding of your ex-fiancé and the ex-friend he dumped you for (maybe cheated on you with?) at all, and who is now making demands of you to help their appearance at that particular wedding is just s**t icing on a s**t cake.”
“I dunno what your sister’s game is, but you should absolutely decline to play it.”
“If she has a penchant for revenge or drama and ever has access to your home/closet, you might also want someone else to hold onto that dress until the day you need it.”
“Hopefully more caution than needed, but you sure hear horror stories on this sub.” ~ oliviamrow
“NTA.”
“HIDE THE DRESS!”
“First off, every Millennial and older knows that NO ONE borrows any clothes before the person who bought them gets to wear them! 😂”
“Second, though sharing is caring, not sharing expensive items is completely understandable.”
“I’m going to sound like an old lady when I say this, but I’m sick of these youngins claiming I have ‘privilege’ to afford the nice things I have.”
No! I am super middle-class.”
“Every nice thing I have is planned and saved for months, if not YEARS in advance.”
“If your parents are giving you crap, give them real world examples.”
“If your dad is into watches, tell him it’s like buying a brand new watch and having somebody else wear it first.”
“I hope to God you don’t live with her or your family.”
“If you do, hide the dress.” ~ LighthouseonSaturn
“NTA. I 100% agree that you should keep the dress somewhere safe so she can’t go the ‘better to ask for forgiveness than permission’ especially since permission has been explicitly denied.”
“Because she’s knowingly disregarding your feelings by even attending the wedding, she barely deserves the courtesy of you telling her where you bought the dress so she can find one for herself.”
“27 is way too damn old to be running to your parents to try to get her way.”
“You didn’t say how your parents reacted, so I’m just hoping they turned it around and asked her if a good sister would do the things she’s done to you.”
“I guess that’s what you get when you name a kid Mia, everything they see is instantly MINE like the seagulls from ‘Finding Nemo.'” ~ SquirrelKat1248
“NTA. Your sister is not entitled to anything of yours.”
“Especially a new dress you have not worn yet.”
“No means no.”
“She is already an A-H for going to your ex’s wedding, but to not only expect you to let her wear your new dress, but to run to your parents to complain as if they can force you to let her wear it is over the top.”
“Was she the golden child growing up?”
“Be sure your sister has no access directly or through someone else to your dress.”
“I would not put it past her to decide to help herself.” ~ bookworm-1960
“Absolutely NTA!!”
“The nerve she has to insist you let her wear a dress you purchased for yourself, and to make matters worse, to your ex’s wedding?!”
“Where’s the loyalty and support?”
“Not to mention, how is she wearing something you haven’t even worn yet?”
“Make it make sense.”
“Too bad for her spoiled, entitled a**.”
“She can go purchase her own dress and call it a day.” ~ MimiBQ
“NTA. Whether you bought it for an event or just to let it live in your closet, you don’t have to let her or anyone else borrow it.”
“Screw her, tell her to fork out the money for her own designer dress to go to the wedding of the man who left you and is marrying your ex friend.”
“WTF!!!”
“Make sure she doesn’t borrow it when you’re not looking!” ~ marie585
“NTA, honestly, your sister going to the wedding of your ex-fiancé and ex-best friend tells you everything you need to know about your sister.”
“And maybe it’s time to think about your relationship with her and if this is the type of person you want to have in your life.”
“The first person who should be supporting you during this time should be your sister, and the fact that she is choosing to participate in this wedding really speaks to her character.”
“OP, you are allowed to not have a close relationship with family members when they continue to do things that affect your mental health.”
“Just know that found family can often end up being even closer than your real family because of situations like this, and it’s perfectly OK to choose yourself.” ~ cwesson88
“NTA, lock your doors so she doesn’t take it.” ~ actualchristmastree
Wow. Just… WOW, OP.
You have been through a lot.
So sorry about all of this.
Reddit is with you.
Why would your sister even go to that wedding?!
Enjoy YOUR dress!!!