As hard as it can be to believe, there really are people in the world who think they have a right to something just because they looked at it or touched it one time.
The "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit cringed at the thought that someone might think that wanting something was reason enough for them to be entitled to it.
Redditor Fresh-Wrap-3929 had a comfortable living arrangement with his roommate, even when his roommate was married and had a wife.
But when the relationship later soured and they divorced, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked that the ex-wife came forward, demanding that she had a right to the property because she lived in it at one time and wanted it for herself.
He asked the sub:
"AITAH for snapping at my roommate's ex-wife for demanding that we give her the house that was under my name?"
The OP had a comfortable living arrangement with his roommate.
"I (28 Male) have been living with my roommate (30 Male) for about three years now. We've been great friends and have had a fantastic living arrangement. I bought the house before my roommate moved in, and when he got married, his now-ex moved in with us."
"He's going through a rough divorce with his ex-wife (29 Female), and I've tried to be supportive."
But the roommate's ex wanted the property all for herself.
"Fast forward to yesterday. His ex-wife showed up at our doorstep, unannounced, and demanded that we hand over the house to her. Yes, you read that right. She claims that since she was married to my roommate, she has a right to the house, which is currently under my name."
"I was taken aback by her audacity. I told her that the house is mine, and I'm not going to give it to her just because she's going through a divorce. She started getting aggressive and accusatory, saying that I'm just trying to screw her over and that I'm not a good friend to my roommate."
"I lost my cool and snapped at her, telling her that she needed to respect my property and boundaries. I told her that if she continued to harass me, I'd have to involve the authorities."
"She stormed out of the house, leaving me shaken but relieved."
"AITAH for snapping at her? I feel like I was justified in defending my property, but maybe I could have handled the situation better."
"AITAH?"
As the comments started to come in, the OP shared their first update.
"Well, it looks like she's taking us to court. I just received a summons in the mail, and we're scheduled to appear in court in three days."
"She's suing me for the house, claiming that she has a right to it due to her marriage to my roommate."
"I've spoken to a lawyer, and we're preparing for the worst. Has anyone else had to deal with an ex-partner's craziness? Any advice would be appreciated."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some encouraged the OP to counteract the roommate's ex-wife's delusions.
"Counter sue her for harassment, emotional distress, loss of pay due to frivolous cases, financial loss, impacted health due to stress add lawyer and court fees that should be paid by her.
She'll change her tune." - ProfileElectronic
"Sue her for court costs and lawyer fees. She's going to keep doing this to be a pain in the a**. A countersuit will deter her from continuing this behavior. Especially if she's ordered to pay a portion of the cost her idiocy has brought to your life." - Jokester_316
"She had absolutely no standing, this story is ridiculous and fake."
"You can't sue your friends for marital property during a divorce."
"Unless there are details the OP is leaving out, like if they helped her pay for the house, there may be some grounds to recoup some of that money...I guess. But that'd be a stretch."
"If the Soon-to-be Ex is second place on the title, THEN it could be considered marital property and again, she could...in theory be entitled to a portion of it."
"I'm really struggling to see how this case would ever make it past a motion to dismiss and I really can't find one. This is fake or not the actual story." - Scourge165
"You were not married to her. It is your property. And your roommate had no emotional stake when you bought that house."
"Tell your lawyer you want to counter sue her for emotional distress, the lawyer fees, loss of wages for taking time off, and so on." - TerrorAlpaca
"She has absolutely no legal rights to this house and if any lawyer said to prepare for a worst-case scenario then they are just trying to wrack up billable hours. 'Oh, this $3k cost is me spending hours researching housing law.'" - 78october
"Make sure you counter-sue her for any and all legal fees. This bullsh*t lawsuit is something you should not have to foot the bill for. NTA."
"And sue her for emotional distress and harassment! She will get a reality check. NTA." - JJQuantum
"I just hate that it's possible to ruin someone with court costs, even if they are completely in the clear. OP has to pay because of a lunatic." - Schneeflocke667
"Why didn't OP's lawyer file a motion to dismiss because she was demanding a house her ex didn't own? If they did, why wasn't it granted? You can sue anyone for anything, but a frivolous lawsuit is not gonna make it to trial/hearing unless you have a crazy judge, and the judge in this story didn't make a crazy ruling, so not crazy."
"Civil lawsuits still have a jury. Why doesn't OP include why he and the plaintiff consented to no jury?"
"Claims involving marital assets are handled in divorce court. No, this wasn't a marital asset, but that's just all the more reason it would never proceed to trial/hearing."
"There ARE consequences for attorneys who file frivolous claims. Either the wife has a crazy attorney doing this pro bono, she's already super-rich (and doesn't need the house), or the house is a million-dollar mansion that could justify all this work for a frivolous case. Even the most selfish, unethical attorney has nothing to gain from pursuing a case with no basis."
"The ex-wife is really just wasting everyone's time. NTA." - JuliaX1984
"I don't know what's more concerning. The fact that she thinks she has a right to YOUR HOUSE. Or the fact that you were actually scared. She didn't put any money towards the house, and it's under YOUR NAME. She wasn't married to you. She never had a case and never will." - Slice-Remote
In another update, the OP was nervous about the upcoming hearing.
"I'm posting this two hours before the court hearing."
"Court prep is going well, but I'm getting anxious about the whole thing. My lawyer says we have a strong case, but you never know what's going to happen in court. I've been rehearsing my testimony and gathering evidence to prove that the house is mine."
"My roommate is being super supportive, but I can tell he's stressed about the whole situation too. His ex-wife is just being ridiculous, claiming that she helped with the down payment (which is a total lie) and that she's entitled to half of the property."
The court hearing was haphazard but promising, according to another update.
"Today's court hearing was a total circus. The ex-wife showed up with her new boyfriend (who looks like a total tool) and her lawyer, who seemed like he was straight out of a bad 80s movie."
"They presented their case, and it was just a bunch of nonsense about how she 'emotionally supported' my roommate during the purchase of the house."
"The judge seemed skeptical, but you never know. We presented our side, and I think we did a good job of showing that the house is mine. Now we just have to wait for the judge's decision..."
The OP then updated with good news.
"WE WON! The judge ruled in our favor, and the ex-wife's claim was dismissed. We're both breathing a huge sigh of relief right now."
"The judge basically said that the ex-wife had no legal claim to the house and that she was just trying to take advantage of my roommate's good nature."
"I'm so glad this is over, but I'm also a bit annoyed that we had to go through this ridiculous ordeal in the first place. Thanks to everyone for their support and advice throughout this whole thing!"
The OP was grateful for the direction the situation was going in.
"I'm still on cloud nine after our court victory. My roommate and I celebrated with a nice dinner and a few drinks. It's amazing how much stress and anxiety can be lifted off your shoulders when you finally get a positive outcome. I'm just glad that justice was served and that we didn't have to give in to the ex-wife's ridiculous demands."
But in another update, the ex-wife wasn't done trying.
"I just got a call from my lawyer, and it looks like the ex-wife is appealing the decision. I'm not surprised, but I'm still annoyed that she's not willing to accept defeat."
"My lawyer says we have a strong chance of winning the appeal, but it's going to be a longer and more expensive process. I'm just hoping that the appeal court sees sense and upholds the original decision."
At least in a final update, the OP had good news.
"We just received the appeal court's decision, and... WE WON AGAIN!"
"I'm beyond relieved and thrilled that this whole ordeal is finally over. The appeal court upheld the original decision, and the ex-wife's claim was dismissed once and for all."
"My roommate and I are both breathing a huge sigh of relief, and we're looking forward to moving on with our lives. Thanks to everyone for their continued support and advice throughout this whole process!"
The subReddit could not believe the ex-wife's delusional thoughts that, just because she liked the house and lived in it at one time, she held some kind of right over it.
Rather, it seemed best for the ex-wife to take a page out of the OP's and his roommate's book, try to find the positive in the divorce and move on.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.