Woman Tells Dad He Can't Bring New Girlfriend To College Graduation Since Mom Paid For Trip

Graduation Day is a big day in many people's lives.

It's a rite of passage after all.

And it's meant to be a celebratory event.

However, not all family members make it joyous.

Sadly that's the case for too many grads.

Redditor TypicalAnalyst17 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"AITA for telling my dad he can't invite his G[irl]F[riend] to my graduation because my mom paid for the trip?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I (22 F[emale]) am graduating from college in two weeks."

"My parents divorced when I was 11."

"They are civil now, but they are not friends."

"I love my dad, but he has always been the parent who shows up if it is easy."

"My mom was the one who showed up when it was not."

"She worked extra shifts, drove me everywhere, helped with forms, cried with me when I almost dropped out, and somehow still made me feel like I was not a burden."

"My graduation is seven hours from home, and I only got four guest tickets."

"I invited my mom, my dad, my younger brother, and my grandma."

"My grandma helped raise me when my mom was struggling, so having her there matters a lot."

"My mom booked an Airbnb months ago for herself, my brother, my grandma, and me."

"She also paid for the rental car and gas because my brother and grandma could not afford the trip."

"My dad said he would drive himself and get a cheap motel."

"Then last month, he said money was tight, and he might not come."

"I tried to act like I understood, but I was hurt."

"My mom quietly offered to pay for one hotel night so he could still be there."

"She said, 'You deserve both parents there,' even though I know it cost her more than just money."

"Last week, my dad called, sounding excited, and said his girlfriend Kara got the weekend off and was coming too."

"They have been dating for eight months."

"I have met her twice."

"She is not evil or anything, but she is not close to me."

"At my brother's birthday dinner, she kept calling herself 'the bonus mom now,', and my brother looked like he wanted to disappear."

"I asked my dad what he meant by Kara was coming."

"He said she wanted to 'support me' and was 'basically family.'"

" I told him I did not have a ticket for her."

"He said she could still come to dinner, take pictures, and hang out at the Airbnb."

"I said no, because the Airbnb was paid for by my mom, for the people I invited."

"He said Kara would not mind sleeping on the couch."

"That honestly made me snap a little."

"I told him the couch was not the point."

"The point was that my mom paid so he could come watch his daughter graduate, not so he could turn it into a couple's weekend."

"He got upset and said my mom always gets to be the 'main parent,' and he just wanted someone there so he would not feel awkward."

"I told him this weekend was not about making him comfortable."

"It was about me graduating, and I wanted one weekend where my mom was not expected to swallow her feelings and fix everyone else's."

"He said if Kara was not welcome, maybe he should just stay home."

"I said that was his choice, but I was not giving up my brother's or grandma's spot, and I was not asking Mom to host his girlfriend."

"Now my aunt says I humiliated him and made Kara feel unwanted."

"My dad texted, 'I hope making your point was worth it.'"

"My mom says she supports me, but I can tell she feels guilty."

"I do want my dad there."

"I just hate that even my graduation has somehow turned into everyone worrying about his feelings."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA, reply back, 'I hope prioritizing your new girlfriend is worth missing your kid's graduation.'"

"LOL at your mom 'gets' to be the main parent."

"The reality is she HAD to be the main parent because he couldn't pull his own weight." ~ Jerseygirl2468

"Exactly. Your mom always has an option to quit, and she chose to be there for you."

"She took her role and commitment as a parent seriously."

"Props to her."

"Which is a huge contrast to your father."

"He really shouldn't have pulled an ultimatum in trying to get his girlfriend to come."

"It's a very manipulative behavior."

"NTA for standing up for yourself and for what's right." ~ IceSeeker

"NTA. Turn what he said back to him - 'You've made your point, Dad, your girlfriend getting a free trip is more important than you attending my life. I hope you're happy with YOUR decision.'" ~ Mental-Hunter2106

"My dad divorced my mom (both 23 at the time) when I was 6 days old to date his 'girlfriend'- the 16-year-old (disgusting, I know, but that's my dad for you) who was reportedly his commanding officer's daughter (he was in the army)."

"Plus, however many other side chicks/one-night stands he had along with her."

"He's only met me for a few hours about a week before my 1st birthday, and even then, he didn't interact with me at all- he just sat on the couch watching me play on the floor."

"And when he wanted to hold me before my mom, and I left, I instantly started to cry."

"Let him make his choices."

"He will probably regret it later." ~ ZambeeMC

"NTA, if your dad can’t drag himself away from his NEW girlfriend for one weekend and swallow his pride to see his daughter graduate college, that is his decision, it’s not on you."

"Tell your aunt to fund daddy and girlfriend's trip if it’s so important to her." ~ sherrib99

"NTA. Your mom offered him a night in a hotel."

"Not a double occupancy."

"Not the Airbnb."

"Not a 'plus 1' for your graduation."

"After freeloading off of your mom, he decided to make a date night out of it."

"Do you even want him there now?"

"Now that he's turned the generosity of others into imposing his gf on your graduation event?"

"All this stress and conflict originates with him."

"He's turned his subsidized attendance at your graduation into a covert contract."

"'If you want me there, you have to include my uninvited GF.'"

"He's already coerced your mom into paying for his accommodation to attend."

"Having gotten that, he's demanding more."

"More imposition and discomfort for your immediate family as a condition for his attendance."

"I'd ask Mom to cancel his hotel room."

"Let him make his own plans with his own resources."

"Let him show, through his actions, where his priorities lie." ~ curious382

"NTA, OP 100%."

"You're right to feel that way, and it's also rude of him to expect his girlfriend to be allowed to stay in the Airbnb that your Mom is paying for."

"Your dad is 100% the TA here." ~ Woodpog

"NTA. Your dad sucks."

"It’s one day, one weekend, that should only be about celebrating you, and he can’t possibly do that without his emotional support GF?!"

"He’s self-centered and a baby, and I would uninvite him from your life." ~ BoudiccasJustice

"Tell him yes, it was."

"You are not a child, and if you are the adult in the equation, he can come back when he grows up."

"Your mom is a saint, but she needs some therapy, too."

"She should not feel bad at all."

"She can and should feel empathetic, but she does not need to feel bad."

"You are lucky to have your brother, mom, and grandma."

"Hug 'em tight."

"Dad may or may not ever grow up." ~ dont_know_throwaway

"NTA- kid, you’re a fkn saint, looking after your mom and family like that. Your father clearly can’t be bothered to think of someone other than himself. Congratulations and enjoy graduation.

"All the people that really matter will be there." ~ yeeticusprime1

"NTA, it’s evident your Dad cares more about himself than anyone else, despite using others to get what he wants, even when something is not about him."

"Ugh, enjoy celebrating your graduation."

"With the people who helped get you to this point, not despite it." ~ Which_Translator_548

"NTA. Your dad certainly is acting like a spoiled, entitled one."

"Honestly, it sucks, but you shouldn't waste the time trying to argue with him."

"You and your mom should go enjoy and celebrate your graduation." ~ WholeAd2742

"NTA, at all. And I’m a divorced dad with a daughter your age."

"What’s probably happening is that Kara doesn’t dig the idea of your dad hanging out with his ex-wife and family without her 'supervision.'"

" Dad needs to grow a spine and recognize that he’s a father first… or just quietly bow out." ~ reallifeswanson

"Your dad is the AH. YNTA."

"Cancel the Airbnb that YOUR MOM PAID FOR YOUR DAD TO ATTEND."

"He clearly did not pick you."

"Give him his ticket to your best friend or someone else who cannot afford to go."

"Your mom will always feel guilty."

"It's pretty much how some mom in general feel about their children."

"Your mom’s amazing, you should celebrate her while she’s around." ~ Ok-Listen-8519

Reddit is with you, OP.

This is your day.

You did the hard work.

Let your dad figure this out for himself.

Congratulations!