New Parent Snaps At Nurse Mom Who Started Acting As Wife's Nurse During Labor Without Being Asked

We never know when our parents' trade or profession may come in handy.

Not only might we have immediate access to a service we may find ourselves unexpectedly in need of, but we could also save ourselves considerable amounts of money.

That being said, this is only a benefit when we ask for our parents' help.

When they impose their expertise on us, it might end up being a hindrance more than anything else.

The mother of Redditor Curious_Light_2401 practiced one of the most important professions in the world.

Something the original poster (OP) was always proud of.

However, during a recent, very important milestone in the OP's life, she felt her mother badly overstepped.

Resulting in some unwanted and unexpected strain in their relationship.

Concerned she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for telling my nurse mom not to do 'nurse stuff' during my wife’s labor?"

The OP explained why her mother's profession ended up becoming a sore spot in their relationship:

"My wife and I just had our second daughter."

"For context, my mom is a nurse, but she doesn’t work in labor and delivery."

"We invited her into the delivery room because she’d never been able to witness one of her own children’s babies being born, and we thought it would be really special for her."

"During labor she seemed to slip into 'nurse mode'.”

"She stood behind the nurses while they were working asking questions."

"One nurse even asked, 'Oh, do you work in maternal care?'”

"She was very nice about it, but it made me wonder if my mom was hovering more than she realized."

"A nurse told us, 'When this machine goes off, hit the call button and I’ll come back'.”

"The machine went off, we called the nurse, and my mom walked over and pressed a button, turning off the noise."

"I asked, 'Mom, what are you doing?'”

"She brushed it off."

"Later, while the nurse wasn’t in the room, she grabbed a handful of gloves and said they were 'just in case I have to grab the baby'.”

"I told her that wasn’t going to happen."

"When it was actually time to push, she started putting gloves on again and I stopped her again."

"After the baby was born, I looked over and saw her putting gloves on and starting to break down the delivery table."

"I immediately said, 'Mom, no. Please don’t do anything unless you’re asked to'.”

"What I meant was: please don’t do medical or nursing tasks unless the hospital staff asks you."

"I wasn’t saying she couldn’t help us or be involved as a grandma."

"I meant this is a hospital, these are working nurses, and you’re here as family."

"She took it very differently."

"She called me afterward, cussed me out, said I embarrassed her, and told me, 'Who the f*ck are you to tell me what to do?'”

"She said she could 'do whatever the f*ck' she wanted."

"I told her, 'Not in my life'.”

"She also said I’m always telling her what to do, but every example she gave was something she volunteered to do."

"She chose to walk my dog, do the dishes, and adjust the stove while I was cooking."

"When I asked her to do those things a certain way, she got frustrated."

"She also tried to shame me by saying she was 'helping your bleeding wife' by cleaning up after the delivery."

"My point was that nobody had asked her to do that."

"Before the birth, my wife and I specifically said we did not want a video of the delivery, only a few pictures afterward."

"My mom took a video anyway because, 'You liked it last time'.”

"That, combined with everything else, made me feel like she kept overriding what we asked because she thought she knew better."

"It honestly started to feel like she was making part of the experience about herself instead of simply being there with us."

"After the argument, she flew home early instead of staying the week to help us, leaving us scrambling with a newborn and a toddler."

"I’d especially love to hear from nurses."

"Is this kind of behavior from another nurse who’s there as family actually welcomed, or is it generally something you’d rather not deal with?"

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Her

The Reddit community all but unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for telling her mother she overstepped.

Everyone, including several nurses, agreed that the OP's mother did indeed overstep, particularly as maternal care was not her specialty, with many pointing out how there is always a conflict of interest in for medical professionals to treat family members:

"I would’ve kicked her out of the room, ngl."

"NTA."- sinistergzus

"NTA."

"I’m not a nurse but I’m extremely worried that your mother couldn’t see she was endangering you wife’s life?"

"And the giant liability she was exposing the hospital too?"- BriefHorror

"NTA."

"And your mum should know better - if something went wrong or an incident occurred she would likely cause issues for the actual nursing staff and hospital - by not being insured to work there, for example."- Profession-Unable

"NTA."

"Now you know why no one else let her into the delivery room."

"Every hospital does things differently."

"I doubt the nurses appreciated her trying to step into their shoes, rather she was stepping on their toes."

"How her hospital does thing may not have been how the nurses in the delivery are trained to do so in their facility."

"Time to go low contact and grey rock her."

"She left you scrambling when she was supposed to help and support you and your wife as new parents to a toddler and new born."

"She honestly sucks big time for that."- ayesh00

"Nurse here."

"Never in a million years would I put on my nurses hat unless I was witnessing something medically inappropriate - then I’d say something first - never just jump in (unless a life was literally on the line)."

"Especially if it’s not my specialty. "

"Your mom sounds a bit like a bully or perpetual victim."

"NTA, but mommy dearest needs some clear boundaries."

"She isn’t allowed to do what she wants, whenever she wants."

"I hope she doesn’t pull this with your kids, with the 'I know better than you and you can’t stop me' attitude she clearly showed during delivery."- Proud-Geek1019

"NTA."

"Now you know WHY she was never invited into other birthing rooms."

"I suspect she said too much before the other grandbabies were born and they got wise."

"She actively interfered with the birthing process by turning off call buttons, etc."

"Never have her in the room again and I’d question alone baby sitting time with your child because she sounds like she’d over step and do what she thinks is right."

"Talk to your other siblings."

"And having her in your wife’s birthing room because if her own children who gave birth is kind of gross IMO."

"Did you push your wife to let her in? "

"That would make you the AH too."

"While I get you want the nurses opinion, I’d focus on the severe boundary stomping your mom did."

"She videotaped it."

"Dude."

"As for nurses, THEY are responsible for the patients and the cleanliness of the suite."

"If something goes wrong, they are to blame."

"Not your mom."

"If something went wrong, they would be sued for not stepping up."

"Honestly, they should have kicked her out."

"They didn’t do enough."

"This isn’t your mom’s hospital."

"She needs to know her place."

"I suspect she oversteps boundaries a lot based on your reason why you felt she should be in YOUR WIFES during HER medical event."- allergymom74

There were a few who felt the OP was in the wrong, but only for not kicking her mother out of the delivery room immediately:

"YTA because your wife needed you to get your mom out of that room if you couldn’t keep her in check."

"Taking a video of a birth without consent is a violation so deep and disrespectful, you’re lucky your wife isn’t going no contact with your mom."- Kubuubud

"YTA."

"Your poor wife, the person actually giving birth to the child, had to deal with that circus because you couldn’t say no."

"I understand why you wanted to include her, but she should have been told to leave after the very first instance of overstepping."

"Your wife and child come first now."- Prior_Butterfly_7839

For all the excitement and joy that comes from being in the delivery room, there is also a frightening potential for things to go wrong.

Hence why only the doctors and nurses specifically there to assist should be handling anything.

It's sad that the OP's mother took things so personally, as she should have known that the OP was only doing what any good parent would do.

Which was prioritizing the safety and well-being of their child.