We were all kids once, and any of us who now drive once had to learn the rules of the road, and we inevitably made some mistakes along the way.
But just because we know that's true of any driver out there doesn't mean we want to lend our car to a new driver, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor AccountUnderReview_ purchased a car they loved after saving up, and they were very excited to spend years driving it.
But when their brother-in-law let his daughter drive the car without their permission, and she and her boyfriend totaled it, the Original Poster (OP) immediately kicked them out of their home and called the police for stealing their car.
They asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for kicking my brother-in-law out of my house and talking to the police about Grand Theft Auto charges?"
The OP had a car that they truly loved.
"When I graduated high school, I also graduated with my Associate’s Degree and received an academic scholarship to finish my Bachelor’s."
"My parents had saved for my college tuition, so since they no longer needed that money for school, they bought me a car instead and helped me with a down payment on a house."
"The car was a 2000 Monte Carlo SS Pace Car Edition. It meant a lot to me. It wasn't your traditional sports car or anything. But again, I loved it, and it was fun to drive."
Eventually, the OP had the opportunity to get another one of those cars.
"Two years later, my dad got cancer, and I sold the car to help my family financially. I loved that car, but family came first."
"Recently, I finally found another one. Basically brand new. Only 4,000 miles on it, still had plastic on parts of the interior."
"I had it shipped from Canada. I drove it exactly once."
Then the OP's brother-in-law (BIL), who was staying with them, did something terrible.
"This past weekend, my wife and I were out of town."
"My brother-in-law is currently staying with us temporarily (which is already a point of stress)."
"Without my permission or knowledge, he allowed my niece and her boyfriend to take the car to prom."
"I didn’t even know they were getting ready for prom at my house."
"The boyfriend wrecked it. Totaled it."
The OP was furious when they found out and acted on it.
"Now my wife thinks I should 'let it go' and just accept the insurance payout because 'they’re kids.'"
"The insurance has offered me quite a bit more than the KBB."
"But I am furious and honestly heartbroken. I genuinely cannot understand how someone thinks it’s okay to hand over the keys to a car they do not own, or have authorization to lend out to an 18-year-old kid for prom pictures and a joyride."
"To me, this wasn’t an accident involving borrowed family transportation. This is more than 'just property.' They knowingly took something that wasn’t theirs without permission."
"That feels a lot closer to carelessness and theft than a simple mistake and lapse in judgment."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some urged the OP to press charges.
"NOR. How old is your brother-in-law? Dude disrespected you after you let him live with you."
"Press charges, sue him, do what you have to do."
"It may upset your wife, but if she will defend him and not you in this situation, that says a lot about her. She should put you, her husband, first. Especially when her brother royally f**ked up." - hampikatsov
"This is a hill I would die on, because I've been this guy. My f**kup brother, the golden child, could destroy whatever he wanted and faced no consequences for it. He's persona non grata in my life now, along with my enabling parents. I would tolerate this exactly zero from a spouse or spouse's family. NOR." - Emptyplates
"Press charges. If the BIL told the kid it was okay, then the kid would be fine. The BIL committed a crime. Depending on your state, it is most likely Theft by Unlawful Taking."
"I think you do need to talk to the police. It will make a good foundation for your civil suit. (which you should also do, since the car had more 'value' than the blue book)." - SnooCamera
"NOR. What a betrayal, OP. Proceed as you have been against BIL and boyfriend, and maybe they’ll think twice before they take liberties with other people’s really expensive property." - atchisonmetal
"NOR. He needs to have real consequences in life, or this will just keep happening. Honestly, it may continue happening even still, but at least he will know that he can't get away with his crap with you anymore." - sunshineinthe813
"NOR. Your car was stolen when you were out of town and totaled. It is proper that when you return home and find your car stolen, you report it to the police. The fact that you know who stole your car shouldn’t matter."
"It makes no difference if it is the local drunk, drug dealer, BIL, or niece’s boyfriend. Your car was stolen."
"So..." - SunshinePrincess21
"WHEN you boot the BIL and his belongings to the curb, put a very short timeline on this. For instance, in two weeks (or less), or at the end of the month."
"Just putting a little urgency on the matter will sharpen his focus and make sure it gets done. Light a fire under his a**. Figuratively, of course, but make it feel that way." - atchisonmetal
"This is so not okay, and you are NOR at all. I am so sorry this happened to you."
"Your BIL is a piece of s**t, and your niece and her boyfriend are right there with him. If your wife truly did NOT know what her brother was planning, then I guess you can take her wishes into account about not pressing charges, IF YOU CHOOSE."
"I’d have a come-to-Jesus meeting with the BF’s parents *and* your niece and her mother. Their behavior is bulls**t, too."
"They’re old enough to know that your orders at other times meant you were NOT going to be ok with them stealing your car. And let’s be real, that’s what they did. They KNEW it was not BIL’s car to 'loan.' They took it anyway."
"Glad to hear BIL won’t be coming back to y’all’s home. I’d go completely no contact with him and refuse to go to ANY of your in-laws’ functions if he’s present." - ohemgee0309
Others pointed out that these problems might keep coming up if the OP didn't address their wife as well.
"NOR, and tell your wife she'd better decide who she's supporting. This is a reason for divorce, in my opinion."
"Your a**hole of a BIL stole your car, and the kids wrecked it. File the police report accordingly and get that ah out of your house permanently." - Organic_Start_420
"NOR. I would press charges, and I would not be surprised if the BIL's defense is that the wife gave permission. After all, he probably lies about everything to get out of trouble. Even though she didn't give permission, I would be shocked if she didn't back the brother by lying about permission." - Dangerous_Ant3260
"NOR, they did a crime, and crimes have punishments. Your BIL and those kids are not the main issue, though, in my opinion."
"The main issue is your WIFE! That is a betrayal that sounds akin to the kind of thing that happens when parents of the golden child tell the non-golden child to 'be the bigger person and let it go' when the golden child does something horrible to the non-golden child, and the non-golden child is perfectly validly upset."
"It is a toxic thing to tell someone who is obviously the victim to 'be the bigger person and let it go.' That won't stop with this incident, either, and, I imagine, it has happened before." - Savage_Simp
"NOR and if your wife really can't get behind the fact that this was not okay and they need to take responsibility for what they did, she can go too!" - Imnotawerewolfyet
"I would be livid. I would report the car was stolen. I’d press charges on the driver and your BIL. I’d go to court over the cost. Scorched earth."
"I would also see a lawyer because if my wife did not back me 100% on this, she would be gone, too." - stuckinnowhereville
"NOR. How could BIL be so stupid as to lend someone else's car for some random teenager to drive? Of course, he's going to go joyriding and show off in it. Did he think you'd never find out?"
"Yes, press charges. He deserves whatever the consequences are. Your wife is a piece of work, expecting you to just let it go, knowing how you valued the car."
"Don't be surprised if she betrays you by pretending she gave permission." - Something-funny-26
The subReddit was shocked that a person would take advantage of the people who were housing them, just so their teenage daughter and current boyfriend would have something fun to drive for Prom.
It was clear that the brother-in-law was used to getting his way, and it was time for him to learn that actions do have consequences, not just for other people, but for him, too.
New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts