Some people simply won’t take no for an answer.
Even when their companion or group has made their stance very clear, these obstinate people will continue to pressure their unwilling friends until they respond with an answer they like.
Thankfully, some people have strong enough constitutions not to give in to blatant peer pressure.
Others, sadly, do not.
Redditor Extension_Swim7844 was recently enjoying a night out with some friends.
Things took an unfortunate turn, however, when the original poster (OP)’s friends began pressuring her into ordering something she truly didn’t want.
While the OP gave in to her friends’ pressure, she found herself at odds with them when it came time to settle the bill.
Concerned she may have been in the wrong in this matter, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not paying for something I ordered and walking out?”
The OP explained why a night out with her friends ended on a somewhat sour note:
“I (23 F[emale]) have a friend group with five women including me.”
“Their ages range between 21-26.”
“This happened yesterday and I need opinions on whether I was right to walk out without paying or wrong for doing so.”
“So yesterday was my friend’s Lily (21 F[emale]) birthday.”
“She just turned 21 and wanted a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant.”
“Me and four other girls were in attendance.”
“All of my friends drink aside from me.”
“I’m not a drinker, have never been one, and will never be one.”
“Me and my friends get seated down and Lily all happy suggests me to buy an alcoholic beverage.”
“I refused and the rest of my friends decided to chime in and tells me to get one.”
“Once again I refuse.”
“They know I don’t drink and how I feel about it.”
“But basically them begging me to get a drink kept going on for about five minutes.”
“Even sent the waiter away because I hadn’t agreed yet.”
“I’m not good under pressure especially when multiple ppl are telling me to do one thing.”
“I eventually said yes though because they kept begging.”
“Lily even suggested a drink and said it’s for ‘beginners’ whatever that means.”
“I told them I didn’t want it and that I know I won’t like it.”
“They said I will…”
“The drink came and as I stated I didn’t like it.”
“One sip and I wanted it gone.”
“They told me to keep trying it but I refused and luckily they just dropped it.”
“Anyways the bill comes and I separated the meal that I got from the drink.”
“They all asked me why I did that as I should be buying the drink?”
“I said I wasn’t buying it since I didn’t willingly get it.”
“They begged me to get it knowing I didn’t want it.”
“Lily said I could’ve said no.”
“I DID!”
“Many times at that.”
“They kept going back and forth with me on it and eventually I just got up and walked out the restaurant.”
“I sent the money for my meal to Lily and stated that if she or no one else was going to buy the drink then they shouldn’t have begged me to got it.”
“My husband stated I wasn’t in the wrong and that I should distance myself from them.”
“However the texts messages from all four of them haven’t stoped.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided as to whether or not the OP was the a**hole for refusing to pay for her drink.
Some felt that, as the OP’s friends refused to take no for an answer, they should be the ones who paid for the drink the OP very clearly didn’t want:
“NTA.”
“They are not your friends.”- Tipsy-boo
“NTA.”
“As others have said, friends do not act like this.”
“They completely disrespected you and probably thought it would be funny to get you drunk.”
“Distance yourself from them.”- mistertheory
“NTA!”
“They are ganging up on you, trying to make themselves in the right and you as the odd one out.”- Spare_Ad5009
“NTA.”
“And these aren’t your friends.”
“No is a full sentence and why behind the no doesn’t matter.”
“You said no to alcohol and your so-called-friends didn’t agree and pressured you.”
“You did the right thing by walking out while paying for what you actually wanted to consume.”
“Block these bullies and be done with them.”- toffifeeandcoffee
“NTA.”
“Get better friends.”- GorgoPrimus
“My boyfriend and I used to drink heavily.”
“He worked in the bar industry, and I was a barfly so all of our friends are pretty much alcoholics.”
“We both stopped drinking a while ago, and our friends simply respect it.”
“When we go to the bar they’ll offer to buy us some shots, and when we say no they just say okay and we move on.”
“None of them pressure us.”
“Those people are not your friends.”
“It’s good to know this now.”
“Text each of them that you are disgusted by their peer pressuring you to drink like it’s a bad 90s teen sitcom, and that you don’t want or need friends in your life who think it’s okay to stomp all over your boundaries to arbitrarily fit into their idea of ‘a good time’ (one of my best barfly friends hasn’t drank in like 20 years and they’re the life of the party), then block them or mute them.”
“Keep your peace and yourself safe.”
“NTA.”- no_worries_man8
“NTA.”
“It’s such a dick move to pressure people to drink.”
“There are so many reasons people choose not to!”- standrightwalkleft
“I’m in recovery and if I went out with friends and they pulled that, we would no longer be friends.”
“NTA.”- BruinsFan413
“NTA.”
“These girls are not your friends.”
“Drop them.”- pariah164
“NTA, and I’m afraid you need four less friends that try to impide their will upon you like that in you life.”- yonoznayu
While others had trouble sympathizing with anyone, feeling the OP’s friends shouldn’t have pressured her into getting the drink, but the OP likewise shouldn’t have given in to peer pressure:
“ESH, you ordered it and should have paid for it.”
“Put your money where your mouth is if you’re going to give into peer pressure.”
“On the flip side they’re not being good friends by pressuring you to drink.”
“You should have said “I’ll only get it if y’all are buying cause I don’t think I’m going to like it and don’t want it to go to waste.”
“Can’t have it both ways.”- LackingTact19
“ESH.”
“You’re friends suck get new ones.”
“But as soon as you took a sip because you didn’t want to stand up for yourself that’s your drink.”
“You know you don’t like alcohol so you shouldn’t have caved.”
“Since you caved starting beef over the price of the drink is lame.”
“If there was beef to be had, there was, it should have been ‘If you don’t stop trying to get me to drink I’m leaving’ not ‘I caved to your pressure and took a sip now I want to separate the drink’.”
“If you can’t stand up for yourself enough to not order the drink next time, just pay for it lol.”- Huge-Nerve7518
“ESH.”
“Them of course for pressuring you.”
“But here, ‘I eventually said yes though because they kept begging’.”
“You did order it, so pay for it.”- Existing-Zucchini-65
“ESH.”
“Your friends sound terrible.”
“But you caved and ordered the drink.”
“You should have paid for it.”- HalfAgony-HalfHope
“ESH Your friends were more TA but you need to draw the line.”
“If they can’t handle you saying no, time to make some new friends.”- SeaShore29
“ESH.”
“They suck more, but at the end of the day, you are an adult who ordered something and then didn’t pay for it.”- Dvorkam
Then there were those who didn’t think peer pressure was a valid excuse, and felt that if the OP ordered and sipped from the drink, then she needed to pay for it:
“YTA.”
“No matter how much you hide behind the excuse of peer pressure, there was a moment there where you agreed to buy the drink.”
“Find the person from that moment and make her pay, because she agreed to purchase the drink.”
“Spoiler alert – it’s you.”- pokederp56
“YTA you are not on high school anymore.”
“Act like it and own your mistakes.”
“Peer pressure or not, you ordered that drink.”- Adventurous_Couple76
It’s never fun to be pressured by your friends, or anyone for that matter, into doing something you don’t want to do.
And when someone says no, then their wishes should be respected.
Regardless of whether or not the OP should pay for the drink, it also seems clear that she might want to put some effort into finding better friends.
Friends who would never let this situation happen.