The tragedy of inheritance is that it only comes when you lose someone close.
What happens, though, when someone else decides that they are more entitled to it than you are?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) MEvsSTEPMOMaita when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit fo judgment.
“AITA for telling my dad’s wife to drop dead in front of her friends and family?“
OP began with tragic news.
“My (17F) mom died a little over a year ago.”
“I was living with her full-time before she passed.”
“She left me a lot of money and her house.”
She detailed her plan for the house.
“Since the house was just going to stay empty until I was done with college, my aunt (on my mom’s side) and I talked about it, and we agreed she would stay there since she’s taking care of my grandma and her place was small.”
“I will move back in once I’ve finished my schooling.”
Then she moved on to the current events.
“My dad assumed my mom left me her money and left the house to my aunt.”
“I didn’t correct him because I don’t trust my dad or have a great relationship with him.”
“I am currently living with him, his wife Jan, and her twin daughters(17, both lovely people) in a 3-bedroom flat.”
“2 months ago he found out that my mom left me the house.”
“I’m not sure how he found out but he did. Since then I haven’t heard the end of it, I’m selfish for making us all stay in a tiny flat, I’m spoiled because I won’t share my inheritance, and I’m a terrible person for making the twins take out loans.”
“You get the gist.”
“This weekend was the twins’ birthday at my grandma’s house.”
“Most of my dad’s family was there (we get along great usually), his wife’s family, and some of both of their friends there along with the twins’ friends.”
Everything was fine, until…
“After they were done opening my present to them, they asked me if that was really it.”
“(I got the matching bracelets with their birthstones, which they both loved, btw) It got quiet, and I asked them what else they were expecting.”
“They said Jan said that I was planning on surprising them on their birthday by telling them we were moving into my mom’s house and helping them with college.”
“My grandma asked Jan if this was true, and Jan started in on me again. She asked what she could do to make me stop being a b*tch, pull my weight, help out, and be fair.”
“I told her she could drop dead.”
“That my mom died for me to get all these things she wanted me to give her daughters.”
“I said if she wanted everything to be fair, then she should drop dead, and I would share everything I had with her daughters since we would have all lost a mother then.”
“That it would be fair only after that happened. She and my dad started yelling at me, and my grandma and uncles started yelling at my dad and Jan, and everything was pretty much over after that.”
“The whole ride home, my dad and Jan were getting calls and texts from family and friends telling them they were disappointed in them, and I was getting texts from Jan’s family, the twins’ friends, and a few of my own cousins saying I was selfish.”
“I don’t usually fight with my cousins, so I’m really starting to think maybe I am being selfish and that I went too far at the twins’ party.”
OP was left to wonder,
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some commenters pointed out that OP had no responsibility to share.
“NTA. no one else is entitled to the things your mom left to you.”
“It’s not your responsibility to take care of your father’s family.”
“I’d be planning on moving out asap to get away from such greedy and toxic people.”
“Also, I’m very sorry for your loss.” ~ thatcaitkid
“They don’t own you. And this bullshit where Jan made up a story about what you were going to do and then surprised you with it?”
“Incredible. I hope you get out as soon as you can.” ~ ArkeryStarkery
“The twins sound like nice people. Please don’t let that bullsh*t conflict break you apart.”
“They know that their mom is wrong and is using them as pawns.”
“It’s probably a good idea to go no-contact with all these people who were yelling and harassing you. You don’t owe them anything.” ~ NeedlesslyDefiant164
Others were confused by the Twins’ friends’ involvement.
“I am wondering why would twins’friends get involved in this private matter if the twins didn’t felt entitled to her inheritance.”
“I mean, think about it:”
“You say to your bff: ‘I think OP will give us money for college, and we’re going to live in her house. Mom told us this”‘.
“Then you find out you’re getting nothing.”
“Do you think your bff will start harassing OP to guilt her into giving you money?”
“Or your bff will say ‘OMG, your mom lied!”‘ ~ Dependent-Show2297
“I see your perspective, but from what OP has said, it sounds more like the twins were manipulated and used by their mom as pawns.”
“There’s nothing really in this post to suggest that their end goal off the bat was to get OP to share her inheritance.”
“Although your explanation is 100% plausible from the post itself, it sounds more like the mom manipulated them into believing that op would give them a part of the inheritance and immediately realize that they were wrong in thinking this.”
“But then again, why would the friends get involved.”
“My best guess is because it happened at the party, and maybe the twins did have discussions beforehand about it, which goes back to what you were saying.” ~ Altruistic-Cup-9700
“I don’t think the friends knew anything about it, only what they heard at the party.”
“They could be misunderstanding a lot or assuming OP changed her mind or something.”
“They are teenagers too and reactive.”
“There’s little to suggest that the twins manipulated their friends into anything. They will likely set the record straight with their friends, and the friends will back down.” ~ ghjvxz45643hjfk
Commenters were concerned about the future.
“This exactly. I’m worried they might try and get op to sign something covertly or agree to something in writing without op knowing the legal ramifications.” ~ sambeano
“OP, I’d actually ask your Aunt to take you to an attorney ASAP to get all of the assets tied up in trust with your Aunt as the executor of the estate until you are 25.”
“(By then you will have graduated from University).”
“Put the assets in the Trust.”
“You should not have to deal with this crap.”
“NEVER let Jan move into your Mom’s house because the moment she does, she is going to do everything she legally can to gain possession of it.”
“Well done on dealing with Jan publicly.”
“As for her family – respond to every single text with ‘You are CLEARLY related to Jan since you feel it is acceptable to bully a minor. This is harassment. I am blocking you now.'”
“Then block them.”
“The twins’ friends, respond with ‘You ONLY get to have an opinion when your parent dies, and you are left living with the most manipulative lying liar that lies on the face of the planet.”‘
“‘Until then, keep your opinion to yourself. I am blocking you now.”‘~ sometimesblessed
OP returned to give an update and express her gratitude.
“Thank you guys so much for the support.”
“When everyone who usually backs you up says you’re an AH, it’s hard to believe your not.”
“But as some of you guessed, my cousins heard the word inheritance and got greedy, and that’s why they sided with them.”
“I was getting texts asking for money from them these past few days.”
“I am moving in with my grandma on my dad’s side.”
“She picked me up this morning, and we’ve been moving my stuff instead of going to school today.”
“The twins talked to their friends, and they have texted their apologies.”
“Although I’m not going to pay for their whole college experience, I think I’m going to help them buy books and with on-campus living.”
“They have really had my back on this, and that’s amazing!”
“I’m going NC with my dad. He chose her over me, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
The challenge with inheritance is that you aren’t fighting some nameless person or corporate entity; you are usually fighting someone you considered family.
Money can be a wonderful tool, but it can cause even the best among us to show a less altruistic face than we might normally show.
Greed and entitlement are powerful motivators that can creep up on you without you ever really noticing.
In short, be kind.