Even if roommates work together well as friends or even siblings, they usually eventually "break up" thanks to new life milestones, like moving away or getting married.
There's really no scenario where a roommate should have to keep paying their rent after they've moved out, except for maybe if they moved out before their contract was up, side-eyed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Traditional_Solid879 had been living with her brother and her father in a two-bedroom apartment for a few years, and she'd worked hard to make it a home.
But when her brother went to another country and got married, not only did he expect the Original Poster (OP) to move out to make room for his wife, but he expected her to continue paying her part of the rent until his wife was authorized to get a job.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by refusing to pay rent until my brother's wife can move in and get a job?"
The OP shared an apartment with her brother and father.
"I'm 24 (Female), and my brother is 27 (Male)."
"Since 2023, my dad, my brother, and I have been living together in a two-bedroom apartment in Florida, and because there are only two bedrooms, my brother and I have been sharing the master bedroom while my dad sleeps in the other room across the hall."
"Yes, we've been sharing a room for almost four years. I have my own bed, a twin-sized bed, and he has a Queen-sized bed."
The OP put a lot of emotional and physical labor into making her house a home.
"When we first moved in, I was the one who put most of the effort into making the apartment actually feel like a home. I spent hours searching for affordable furniture and decorations.
"I found our main couch on Facebook Marketplace, paid for the delivery myself, thrifted the coffee table, found the loveseat that sits in the corner of the living room, picked out artwork for the walls, and even got our dining table from one of my coworkers."
"It's a beautiful solid wood table that expands from seating four people to eight, and it comes with matching wooden chairs."
"I put a lot of time, effort, and money into creating a comfortable home for us."
But the OP was expected to move out when her brother got married.
"Fast forward to now, my brother got married to his fiancée in another country in 2023. He's filed the immigration paperwork so she can hopefully move to the United States and live with him."
"The original plan was that once she arrived, she would take my place in the apartment, and I would move four hours away to live with my mom's home in another city."
"I've already accepted that plan and started preparing for it. That means finding a new job, figuring out how to move my car, adjusting to a new city, and starting over while also finishing my associate's degree in graphic design."
"On top of that, I have to leave behind almost everything I bought for the apartment because I simply can't afford a U-Haul, the moving costs, and the gas to transport it all. So all the furniture and decorations I worked so hard to find are staying there."
After all the work the OP did to make the apartment a home and move out, her brother still expected more.
"The lease ends on September 30, and I've already told my brother that I'm moving out next month."
"Here's where the problem starts. My brother told me he expects me to continue paying rent even after I've moved out until his wife finds a job and they can afford the apartment on their own."
"I told him no."
"I genuinely don't understand how that makes any sense. Why would I pay rent for an apartment I no longer live in while also paying the expenses of moving, finding a new place, and supporting myself?"
"His wife moving in and contributing financially is their responsibility, not mine."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some pointed out that the formula was simple: if the OP wasn't living there, she wasn't paying rent.
"NOR. You're moving out because of his choice. If you're not living there and are not on the lease, you shouldn't pay anything." - dewsh
"'Not your place' means 'no responsibility for helping to fund someone else's household.'" - Pixpodx5767
"NOR. Also, make sure the landlord or the leasing office knows you are not renewing the lease. I can see your brother having his wife sign your name so you are the hook for rent." - Huge-Job1231
"NOR. No longer your apartment, not your rent, not your wife, not your immigration process, not your interview." - Gurglaren
"I think he’s just horrible at planning for the future, made this plan of his wife moving in without thinking about it and then when he realized that there were gonna be financial concerns because his wife is broke and unemployed he panicked and thought, 'S**t, how do I salvage this?'"
"But that is NOT the OP's problem. Helping is one thing, but paying a second round of rent is something else entirely." - SlyAugust
Others urged the OP to proceed with her plan to move out but to also reward her hard work by selling some stuff.
"Move out, AND sell some furniture and things for a fresh start. Seed money because your brother is looking to take advantage." - motherlymetal
"NOR. DO NOT pay rent towards a place you're not living in. He is taking advantage of you."
"Also, since you bought the furniture, just sell them all and get cash! Sell all on FB Marketplace." - dblchickensandwich
"OP, you figured out how to settle into this apartment, and then you figured out moving away, getting a new job, paying expenses, and continuing to earn your degree."
"If your boyfriend could 'fall in love' and marry an adult woman, he needs to be an adult man and figure some things out."
"NOR. None of this is your responsibility. You know what is? Your happiness and your fresh start." - Used_Clock_4627
"Have you ever cancelled your Netflix subscription, just to find out you were still paying it 6 months later? And have you ever noticed that apartment managers are sometimes the dumbest humans on earth who could not give two s**ts about the people who live there?"
"Make. Sure. You. Are. Off. And make sure your brother or his wife do not pretend-sign for you and get you into a very-real-responsibility."
"Once you know you're clear, please enjoy your life and choose what's best for you." - JohnSnowsPump
"Sell all the furniture and decorations you bought that you won't be able to take with you. Or offer your brother and father that they can buy it from you since you researched and purchased it."
"And do not pay rent for a place where you don't live."
"OP, you are not overreacting, and they are acting entitled."
"Good luck with your move, I hope things will go smoothly at your mum’s!" - AcrobaticWillow6952
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
"Thank you all for your support. I had a serious conversation with my brother, and it turned into a huge argument."
"I asked him why they don't move to another cheaper place that they can actually afford? He admitted they don't want to move somewhere more affordable because his wife wants to stay in South Florida. I was speechless."
"And he kept saying, 'If you don't want to help your family, just say it. Just say you have a money problem.'"
"It was like he thought he was the victim, making me feel bad and in an awkward position."
"But no. The money isn't the problem. The problem is that they chose to stay in an apartment they can't afford without my side of payment, and they expect me to keep paying rent after I've already moved out. Plus, I paid for almost everything in that apartment while also paying rent; I'm not paying to move out, help pay rent at my mom's, and pay his rent, too. Like, no, I told him no."
"He thinks that because I'm moving with my mom, I won't be paying rent, and he wants me to keep paying him after he renews the new lease for one more year."
"At this point, I'm just thinking about moving by myself in another state with two jobs just to shut him up."
"Thank you to everyone for all the comments. You helped me realize I'm not overreacting."
"I've also decided I'm taking everything I bought with my own money. Whatever I can't take, I'll sell (even though I bought a laundry machine and dryer combo)."
"I'm packing my belongings, moving out, and starting fresh. It hurts because my brother used to be my best friend, and I don't know if marrying this woman changed things or something, but I know this is the right decision."
Helping family can be wonderful, but paying two rent payments because someone is out of a job is out of the realm of possibility.
The OP had already done all of the work to make her apartment a home, and she'd even agreed to move out and start over. Her emotional labor was through the roof already, and paying secondary rent for another woman was unjustifiable.
