A wedding day is a day that is meant to celebrate two very specific people's love.
The newlyweds are the center of attention.
From midnight to midnight of that day, they are the stars.
However, some people just can't help but want to steal a touch of that spotlight.
Redditor BeautifulPangolin731 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for refusing to let my sister announce her pregnancy at my wedding after she already told everyone she was going to?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (27 F[emale]) got married two weeks ago after being engaged for almost two years."
"My husband and I paid for almost the entire wedding ourselves because we wanted everything to be exactly how we imagined it to be."
"About a week before the wedding, my older sister (31 F) told me she had just found out she was pregnant."
"I was excited for her family."
"Since she and her husband had been trying for over a year."
"Then she asked if she could announce it during the reception or sometime in between."
"I told her I was happy for her, but, to be honest, I wasn't comfortable with that because I wanted the wedding to stay focused on celebrating us, and also, my fiancé needs to agree as well."
"I suggested she announce it on any other day, maybe at the family brunch the next morning, or Thanksgiving for the wedding."
"She looked disappointed but said she understood."
"Moving along to the wedding."
"During cocktail hour few of our cousins and some friends came up to congratulate my sister."
"I was confused until one of them asked if I didn’t know she was pregnant."
"Turns out my sister had been telling family members privately because, according to her, people kept asking why she wasn't drinking or being her usual self."
"I tried to ignore it, but then my aunt asked the DJ for the microphone so everyone could toast the two biggest celebrations in the family."
"I immediately told the DJ not to hand over the mic; this is my day."
"My sister looked angry but kept her cool."
"She later said I embarrassed her and said I was acting jealous over a baby."
"The next morning, she skipped brunch and sent me a long text saying I had ruined what should have been one of the happiest moments of her life, because it's not like anyone would remember the wedding in a few years, but they'll always remember the first grandchild of the family."
"It caused a huge issue since everyone is involved."
"I’m just thinking if I should’ve just let her announce?"
"Or told my husband about it beforehand to avoid all of this."
"But I don’t like it when she tries to be the center of attraction always, but then I might be wrong."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?""
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"NTA. She was quite right to tell about her pregnancy, but not at your wedding."
"It seems like she ignored the fair boundaries you set." ~ hyperikxd
"Yeah, telling people is fine, but turning your wedding into the announcement event after you said no is where she crossed the line a little." ~ ahsan-sahriyar-772
"Only you and your husband get to be special on your wedding day!" ~ Perroame
"NTA, but your sister and family are, she knew what she was doing and wanted the attention."
"You didn’t do anything wrong." ~ Competitive-Eye-1342
"NTA. I had to copy part of your post because it's so appalling."
"'I had ruined what should have been one of the happiest moments of her life, because it's not like anyone would remember the wedding in a few years, but they'll always remember the first grandchild of the family.'"
"Like what???"
"I'm sorry, your sister is something else."
"You even offered to let her announce at the brunch, that's actually so sweet of you." ~ DryUnderstanding1752
"That stuck out to me, too! I've been married for 8 years, and our wedding still comes up from time to time."
"A wedding is a huge life event."
"People don't just forget it."
"OP's sister seems like she doesn't like the spotlight to be on anyone but her."
"Additionally, I'm so curious how far along OP's sister is."
"Did she find out after her first missed period? If so, she is making her grand announcement on the early side, especially for a first pregnancy." ~ United_Reason_3774
"Ok, glad someone else was thinking this!"
"Where I live, most people don’t widely share news of a pregnancy until they’ve hit close to the 3-month mark."
"Sure, tell immediate family members, your best friend, but the big announcement to the world isn’t usually done until the pregnancy is further along."
"Because how awful would it be to have made such a huge announcement, and then lose the pregnancy?"
"And then every single person you run into will ask about the pregnancy." ~ SMRotten
"We literally still talk and compare family weddings TO THIS DAY."
"There are 40 of us grandkids and more, no one remembers the day my cousin was the first because so many came after."
"Sister is just mad she didn’t get her way."
"She embarrassed herself, really." ~ Many-Constant1883
"NTA. This day was for celebrating your marriage."
"I understand her wanting to do it with all the family already gathered and everything, but you gave her an opportunity to do that that wasn't during the ceremony."
"I also understand where she's coming from in that they struggled for a while."
"My wife and I had the same issue."
"We actually did do a gender reveal during my wife's sister's wedding, but my now sister-in-law offered it."
"And it was a small backyard ceremony and reception at their parents' house."
"Still, your sister should have understood that it would have taken some focus off of your celebration."
"She was attempting to undermine you."
"She could have told people she just wasn't feeling well and didn't want to drink."
"People likely would have suspected, but she should have respected your wishes for your wedding." ~ XaquariD
"Based on her attitude, NTA."
"I would have dug my heels in about not letting her make herself the centre of attention on my wedding day at the party I spent months planning and thousands of dollars on." ~ KittyKenollie
"NTA - you didn’t ruin 'her' moment, but she’s done a pretty good job taking the shine off yours."
"What a selfish little madam."
"It’s obvious she can’t stand any attention being on you, so she tried to make your day about her."
"This wasn’t even about her wanting attention."
"This was about her not liking YOU being the focus of attention."
"If she had wanted it to be about her, she would have separated the two events."
"She is very jealous and bitter from the sounds of things."
"I’m sorry she did this at your wedding and that she has caused this rift in your family."
"Note how I’m saying she and not you."
"She asked."
"You told her no."
"That’s where the matter should have ended." ~ Ginger_spice_smudge
"NTA. I was about to say no, AH, here until that last paragraph where your sister said nobody would remember your wedding."
"Your sister had the right to answer people asking why she was not drinking, but your aunt was meddling, and your sister was the AH for skipping the brunch and for the hurtful comment about your wedding." ~ gucci77gucci
"NTA. Dear God."
"Your sister is horrible for saying that to you, and it just confirms how incredibly self-absorbed she is."
"It's never okay to propose, announce a pregnancy, or basically do anything to draw attention away from the bride and groom at their own wedding, which they've usually spent months planning."
"There's no reason she couldn't have picked another day to announce she's expecting, and the fact that she asked for permission, was denied, and chose to tell people anyway shows that she was jealous of the attention you were receiving and wanted to steal the spotlight."
"To make things worse, she told you the next day that no one would remember your wedding, and her news was more important. She's awful." ~ psychicmuppet
"NTA, but your sister is massively."
"I don't think that there is a person in the world who doesn't know that it is extremely poor etiquette to attempt to announce something like that at someone else's event, let alone that event being a wedding." ~ LdiJ46
"Lol, NTA, they won't remember ur wedding, but they’ll remember the first grandchild.'”
"Sorry, but that is weird to me."
"Yeah, who would remember they even went to a wedding?"
"Quite literally, anyone would."
"AND they'll remember the weird announcement she tried making also, why did she need to make it hers?!"
"Also, yeah, I'd have told ur future husband had I been you." ~ Few_Value3735
"NTA. She could have had ginger ale in her champagne flute and kept her news until the brunch, which was a generous compromise, as that was a wedding event, also."
"Unless your sister was ready to hand over a check or Venmo for half or all of the cost of the entire reception, she needed to create her own event to announce her pregnancy."
"Hijacking your event was tacky and extremely low-class, and I'm glad you didn't let her do it." ~ SaltyFriend705
"NTA. Two rules of western style Christian weddings. "
"One: No one wears white unless the bride wants it for the flower girl(s)."
"Two: No big news like engagements or pregnancies."
"It's not that hard."
"Your sister's comment about her pregnancy being more important than your wedding says it all." ~ Pale_Cranberry1502
Reddit is 1000% with you, OP.
Your sister's behavior is outrageous.
This was your day!
She had no right to try to hijack your celebration.
She's going to be getting plenty of attention for months to come.
Congratulations!
