A lot of work environments can turn toxic and hostile quickly.
The smallest things can trigger an uncomfortable atmosphere.
But sometimes it's because some people can't mind their own business.
For instance, what people do with their personal belongings isn't really up for debate.
Not everyone agrees.
Redditor givemepielol wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the"Am I The A**hole"(AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for putting a lock on my locker at work?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Hello, all I F[emale] 28 have a part-time job outside of my main job at a pet store."
"I usually line my shifts up so I’ll end up going from my main job to my part-time job, so I usually change in the changing room and put my clothes bag in my locker for the day."
"One of my co-workers, M[ale] 30’s, I’ll call John, has recently been making comments about how I don’t 'trust' any of them and that I think they’re thieves."
"This was in response to me starting to put a lock on my locker while I’m out on the floor because a week ago, when I came back in the break room, my locker was just wide open."
"I later found out it was because one of my co-workers helped herself to my perfume."
"No one else has said anything besides John, and it hasn’t been a one-time thing."
"He’ll say it when we’re in front of other co-workers or just randomly out on the floor, it’s almost like he’s fixated on it."
"No one else puts a lock on their locker, I’ve noticed, so I’m just curious if you’d take this as like some form of subtle diss?"
"I have no idea why it’s such a big deal?"
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?""
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"He's mad that he can'T go through your stuff."
"You sure he wasn't the perfume user?" ~ Sufficient-Cow-2972
"He just revealed himself as the perfume user, I think."
"Since others didn't care except for him."
"Now he's trying to make you feel pressured into not locking it again."
"Don't fall for it." ~ IceSeeker
"John is exactly the reason why you should lock your locker, NTA."
"If he didn’t want to go through your stuff, he wouldn’t care." ~ Significant-Half-189
"Tell John or anyone else who comments about it."
"'I've had an occasion where someone got into my things, and I've decided it's better to keep them secure.'"
"NTA." ~ excoriator
"NTA. He’s right - you don’t trust them."
"But for good reason." ~ KungenBob
"I mean, it's a locker, why won't you lock it?"
"So someone actually went into your locker and took your perfume, and somehow you're the suspicious one for using a lock?"
"That's a pretty impressive level of irony." ~ DisastrousCandy8257
"NTA- next time he brings it up, just respond that someone borrowed your perfume and you’re not the type to need to be told twice."
"If he persists, tell him he’s awfully invested in how you treat your locker for someone who should have no interest in its contents." ~ Traditional_Put_8254
"NTA. I had a similar position a few years ago, and it was company-mandated that everyone must lock up their stuff because there was always a chance a customer could walk back there and steal our stuff, let alone coworkers."
"They would actually write you up for not locking your stuff up."
"And honestly, better to be safe than sorry!" ~ BlackWidow1990
"Came to comment exactly this."
"Most places require locks for personal belongings to eliminate liability for themselves, and to prevent exactly the situation you're in."
"If everyone does it, there's no question of trust involved."
"Is this a corporate job or a mom-and-pop?"
"If there's any kind of H[uman] R[esources] structure, you might want to bring up the lack of a policy with them because not having one is really weird."
"The fact that you're being harassed about it is an extra cause to take it upwards." ~ SeriouslyWTAF
"NTA. Of course, you don't trust your colleagues; one of them already went through your locker and used your stuff."
"Maybe mention it to a manager if John doesn't lay off." ~ trewesterre
"I've never once noticed if someone else had a lock on their locker."
"Why would I pay attention to someone else's locker if I'm not trying to go through it?"
"You're NTA, and John is weird." ~ facialnervefan
"NTA, your coworker is ridiculous."
"Just leave his locker wide open a few times and see if he still feels the same."
"You have a legitimate reason for locking your things away, and you dont owe anyone an explanation."
"John, I will let you know when I ask for your opinion.'" ~ Its_Dot
"Next time he says something, look directly at him with an expressionless look on your face."
"Blink once, sort of slowly."
"Say nothing."
"And then turn around and go on about your day."
"Give no other reaction to this troll about this ever again." ~ AngstyAF5020
"NTA. Just ignore him completely."
"He’s not fixated on it; he’s just trying to stir the pot and cause drama, that’s why he keeps doing it in front of others."
"Don’t engage; eventually, he’ll get bored and move on to his next potential victim." ~ SaveyK
"NTA - people like him are a sterling reason to have locks on everything."
"Chap's probably just annoyed he can't paw through your things."
"Plus, you literally had someone go into your locker and use your stuff."
"That's all the justification you need." ~ RooneytheWaster
"NTA, he sounds like he's trying to guilt you into not using the lock anymore, and comes off like the person who will use the same tactic after they've stolen from you in a few weeks/months."
"Leave the lock on and tell him not to put words in your mouth and to stop creating a hostile work environment."
"Let's see if he shuts up then." ~ Imaginary_Escape2887
"NTA- it doesn't have to be the case that I don't trust anybody or that everybody is a problem, but SOMEBODY IS A PROBLEM, and frankly, the only one who is inconvenienced by my lock is the one who keeps getting into my locker; nobody else is bothered by it, so why have you been in my locker, John?" ~ chuckinhoutex
"NTA, that’s just smart."
"You do realize that it isn’t just about people going through your things or taking your things, right?"
"It can also be about making sure others aren’t setting you up by putting things inside your locker that don’t belong to you."
"Both things are important."
"John could be an underwear sniffer, a thief, or a work enemy who wants to stash his 🍃 in your bag."
"And as someone else said, it’s in the name - locker." ~ Organized_Khaos
"NTA. Ask him, preferably in front of everyone, why he cares and why it's any of his business."
"Tell them one day you did find it open and your stuff had been rummaged through." ~ BuffaloRedshark
"NTA. Most workplaces with lockers either supply the locks for you or tell you to supply your own lock."
"Work is actually telling you not to trust people."
"And with how much John is accusing you of not trusting anyone, it's making it obvious he can not be trusted." ~ Rose_E_Rotten
"NTA, always lock your locker."
"Doesn’t matter if you trust everyone."
"Customers may wonder back there, too."
"I worked 1 place where we weren’t allowed locks. So my locker was empty except for a coat once in a while."
"My license was on me and a little money."
"Number 1 thing stolen was prescription meds." ~ 9smalltowngirl
"Yep, OP, you know the way to go here, but if John pulls that again, you just say, 'Someone went in my locker, used my perfume without asking, left the locker wide open... and you don't understand why I'd put a lock on it?? That's pretty wild!'"
"And if he persists: 'Damn right I don't trust you all! And I have reason!'"
"NTA in any way, shape, or form!"
"You'd be TA to YOURSELF if you didn't stand up for yourself here." ~ AdhesivenessSweet659
"I have never worked in a place with lockers where they don’t have a lock."
"In one workplace, you were actually given a lock and key when you started."
"Don’t let John bug you."
"If he says another word about it, just give him a nonchalant shoulder shrug an ok and walk away."
"John is the problem, and he’s baiting you."
"If you need to say anything, just say it makes you feel safe, but to be honest, I wouldn’t take the bait; it’s what he wants." ~ calicoki77
"NTA. Imagine you just moved into a house in a new area."
"One day, coming home after work, you arrive to find the front door wide open."
"You change the locks and start making sure the doors are locked every day."
"Soon after this change your neighbor walks up to you and says, 'What, you don't trust us?'"
"Audacious of him to take this personally, which is an untrustworthy response in and of itself."
"I would tell him that his pestering you is making you uncomfortable, and if he doesn't stop, then I would mention to HR (if possible) that someone broke into your locker to steal personal belongings (perfume) and you have started to lock your locker."
"Then I would mention that while you don't suspect it was this male coworker, he is pestering you about it and seems to want you to remove your lock." ~ Dragonballington
Reddit is with you, OP.
You have every right to protect your belongings.
Your co-worker is out of line.
It may be a good idea to have a meeting with HR.
Good Luck.
