Borrowing another person's car is a big deal.
It's especially stressful when the person asking has car issues.
Cars are not cheap!
People sometimes have to be discerning based on the potential borrow's driving history.
Redditor oatpanic wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
""AITA for not lending my car to my roommate after he wrecked his own?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My roommate 'Dan' (25 M[ale]) and I have lived together for about a year and generally get along fine."
"Two weeks ago, Dan got into an accident (his fault, ran a red light), and his car has been in the shop since."
"He asked if he could borrow my car to get to work while his is being fixed, and I said yes for the first few days since I mostly work from home."
"The problem is it's turned into an everyday thing, and last week he came back with an almost empty tank when I know I'd filled it up that morning, and there's a small dent on the rear bumper he swears 'was already there' (it wasn't)."
"When I brought it up, he got defensive and said I was being petty over 'a scratch' when he's dealing with a stressful situation."
"Yesterday he asked to borrow it again for the whole weekend to visit his G[irl]F[riend] two hours away, and I said no."
"I told him he needs to figure out a rental or ask his girlfriend to pick him up, since I don't feel comfortable handing over my car for a long trip after what happened last week."
"He said I was being selfish and unsupportive, especially since he'd let me crash at his family's lake house last summer for free."
"Now things are tense at home, and he's barely speaking to me."
"I feel a little bad since he's genuinely going through it with the accident and repair costs, but I also don't think that means my car becomes his car indefinitely."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"NTA. You have already been too generous." ~ lmchatterbox
"NTA. He was rude and inconsiderate for not filling it up, and damaged it when he used it."
"He can go rent one." ~ WholeAd2742
"NTA. Don't let him guilt-trip you, or you'll end up in the same situation as him, with no car." ~ cette_connasse
"NTA. You’ve done a solid favor helping him locally, and he overstepped the favor with the lack of gas and a dent."
"He has no right to ask you to be without a car all weekend because he wrecked his."
"Staying in a vacation home is not the same thing." ~ HighlightItchy6722
"NTA, and personally, it's stupid to lend your vehicle to someone else in the first place."
"He can rent a car if he needs one."
"It's not your problem." ~ TranslatorVast1072
"NTA. He should be paying for the repairs on your car."
"Lying about it and then expecting use of your car shows he can't be trusted and is entitled." ~ anon5381
"So you owe him your car because he asked you to visit his parents' house that he doesn’t own?"
"You’re being gaslit, and your roommate sounds like a piece of trash to borrow something and bring it back in worse condition while claiming they didn’t do anything."
"NTA, and you should find a new roommate." ~ Affectionate_Aide_39
"NTA. Going to and from work is one thing."
"Leaving you without a vehicle for a whole weekend regardless of his (in)ability to drive safely is too big of an ask."
"Realistically, if his car is wrecked cause he ran a red light, I personally wouldn’t trust him with my car to drive down the block, let alone use it for several days for his work commute." ~ cherry_rae
"NTA, you did lend him your car; he was disrespectful and careless with it, so you’re responding accordingly."
"It’s a bed of his own making, twice over." ~ Urbanyeti0
"NTA, Oh hell no."
"When I was young and stupid, I lent out my car and sure enough it got dented."
"Since we were all young and poor, he couldn't pay to get it fixed."
"Only lend your car to another person (anything really) if you can answer this question in the affirmative: If this thing gets destroyed, am I able and willing to replace it on my own with my own money?"
"If the answer to that is no, do not lend it out." ~ Bowman74
"Lent my car to my (adult) great-niece."
"She drove it much further away after I specifically told her not to, totaled it, and had someone else tell me about it."
"Oddly enough, she then stopped communicating with me forever."
"Your experience may vary… (and I lived for the next year without a car)." ~ Equivalent_Reason894
"NTA - You need to say outright that he blew it when he put a dent in your car and returned it with an empty tank."
"He has already proven himself to be irresponsible with your car, and you know that if he did even more damage, he would also try to deny responsibility for that as well."
"Hide your keys; guys like this will take without asking if they feel justified enough."
"He put himself in this situation and could have killed someone with his irresponsibility." ~ NomadicusRex
"NTA - you've already lent him the car several times, and that makes up for staying at the lake house."
"Running a red light is a serious offense, and I would back away from this ASAP." ~ Head_Paleontologist5
"1000% NTA."
"He hands you your car back on E, a new dent, and no apology?"
"What a loser."
"Let him pout, huff, and puff."
"He's very likely being emotionally manipulative, intentionally trying to make you feel uncomfortable for saying no."
"His lording the lake house stay over you is equally manipulative."
"Enjoy the peace and quiet."
"Keep your car keys somewhere safe, too."
"I would try and keep things as separate (finances/resources) as possible with this guy moving forward." ~ mortimelons
"NTA. Tell him you called your insurance and they told you that you would be responsible for any dents, scratches, accidents, or him paralyzing someone or killing them."
"Let him barely speak to you."
"He's irresponsible."
"Tell him to rent a car." ~ Spare_Ad5009
"NTA you already helped him, and he abused your generosity."
"When is the lease up?"
"Is he on the lease?"
"He feels entitled to your things and knows that you know you need to plan for the future." ~ Newsjunkie1922
"NTA. It was pretty stupid to loan your car to someone who would run a red light."
"He doesn't care enough about his own car; why would you think he would take care of your car better than he takes care of his own? Is he even insured to drive your car?"
"Sounds like he wouldn't pay up if he were to crash your car."
"Forget about the awkwardness and tense environment; protect yourself first." ~ Elusidator
"NTA, so you're expected to lend your car to somebody who doesn't have any respect for other people's belongings, and becomes defensive when asked about it?"
"Nope, it was good of you to return the favor from last summer, but you don't actually have to do anything for anyone, especially when they aren't respectful to you." ~ HankThrill69420
"Do the math and show him the results."
"Compare the previous cohousing situation you were given, price that value, and all the other tangible costs you have between each other."
"See on paper, with numbers, who's ahead, who's behind."
"If it turns out you're behind, and you decide to let them use the car, go ahead and take photos/vids of your car, all around; also get the roommate's name put on the car insurance."
"If it costs more."
"Split the insurance into costs per day, etc."
"Math up."
"One other thing, before you hand over the car, each time, get the current odometer reading and also the fuel gauge on a pic saved to your phone."
"Also draw up a roommate agreement that both sign, stating who does what."
"And then, if none of that works, get a new roommate." ~ plentyfurbbbs
"NTA. He's a bad driver, and you are sharing liability for whatever chaos he causes in your car."
"It's not your problem if his insurance coverage is lacking and doesn't allow for a rental." ~ Altruistic_Relief189
"NTA. Never let anyone borrow your car. Period."
"That thing is worth thousands of dollars, and you're lending it to people who will illegally park, get into accidents, use all your gas, and more."
"Just don't. Lending your car is one of the most foolish things you can do with your possessions." ~ DeniedAppeal1
"He's just trying to guilt you into letting him trash or even crash your car."
"Let's remember his car is in the shop, and at any time you can say no to anything that you're not comfortable with, with no reason attached."
"If he doesn't understand that it's not your problem." ~ winnerswinperiod04
"NTA, also if you live together and he is not listed on the insurance, he's unlikely to be considered a permissive driver, and if he is in a wreck your insurance is unlikely to cover him."
"This could have big financial implications for you if he is in a wreck." ~ jstar77
"NTA, tell him to pay you back for gas."
"Oh, and if he runs red lights, guess who will have to pay when the ticket comes in the mail? You!"
"Tell him he can no longer drive it."
"Plus, if he gets into a crash, he’s not insured." ~ Dapper_Reporter2695
Reddit is with you, OP.
Protect what is yours.
skybluepink15/Imgur
