Keeping a home clean can be no easy task.
Many people go to great lengths to make sure dirt isn't taking over.
Sometimes the rules of cleanliness can irk guests.
So is there a middle ground?
Redditor SalenaHoskins wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA for asking someone to clean their wheelchair before coming into my house?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Yesterday my friend came over for lunch, and she was bringing her other friend 'Joy' who I have never met."
"The friend uses a wheelchair."
"I have white carpet."
"My rule is when you enter my house, take off your shoes."
"When Joy came in, I asked if she or I could wipe down the wheels of her chair so that they don’t get my carpet dirty."
"My friend said, 'Salena! That’s so rude.'”
"I apologized but said that the wheels are dirty because they traveled here from the end of the street and it’s dirty outside."
"Joy seemed upset but let me clean them."
"The wheels were very dirty."
"It took a lot of wipes."
"But both of them seemed upset with me during lunch and left earlier than everyone else."
"After my friend called me, yelling and calling me an a**hole, saying that I thought Joy was a dirty person."
"Which isn’t true."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am I the a**hole for asking her to clean her wheelchair before coming in?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"NTA. While I understand that wheelchairs get dirty, it's not at all rude to ask to clean them."
"You didn't even ask her to do that; you did it yourself." ~ guys_pm_urprettyface
"Agreed... It's awkward, but you do the same to abled people..."
"You have them remove shoes."
"To have a different policy for disabled people would be treating them differently, which is still discrimination."
"You modified the policy to be more accommodating to them but kept the policy and did the work."
"The only difference is it takes longer and therefore drew more attention to the process." ~ Tsureshon
"A long time ago I asked someone how Shik handles wheelchairs in temple since you're supposed to be barefoot, and they didn't have any answers, so I went digging."
"They sell indoor covers for wheelchairs!"
"They're like booties but for the wheels and they can grip onto carpet and tile, and when they're not in use they're just elastic tubes that can be shoved in a drawer."
"If OP is gonna be worried about wheelchair wheels on white carpet they can buy some of those, the same way some people provide slipper or guest socks." ~ BerryNinkasi
"I'm a wheelchair user."
"I wouldn't be the least bit offended at somebody cleaning the wheels for me before I went in."
"In fact, I'd be delighted because if I saw a white carpet, I'd panic because I know the mess it can make."
"I've even occasionally asked my son to come out and clean the wheels before I've gone back into the house because they've been wet and dirty." ~ HomeworkCool7313
"NTA, especially since you cleaned them yourself!"
"Navigating mobility issues is a challenge that brings up all kinds of sh*t that able-bodied people won’t understand, so I can understand that it may have left her feeling a type of way, and that is valid for her, but it doesn’t mean you were wrong." ~ meg-don
"Don't disabled people want to be treated like everyone else?"
"No one is getting inside my place with whatever touched the outside world full of garbage, pee and sh*t."
"No matter if shoes, feet or wheels." ~ AverellCZ
"Why didn't they just leave at that point?"
"It never occurred to her that bringing someone in a wheelchair to a house with white carpet where everyone removes their shoes would be an issue?"
"Are your bathrooms even accessible to someone in a wheelchair?"
"Mine aren't."
"In fact, probably none of my house is accessible to someone in a wheelchair."
"I think your friend was rude to you and whoever their friend is." ~ slendermanismydad
"Honestly? Good point."
"I thought for a minute about it, and while I don’t have carpeting in most of my house, I do have stairs to get into my house from either entrance."
"Then the kitchen is so tight that you could never get a wheelchair into or out of the kitchen, and the bathroom would be nearly as difficult."
"I wouldn’t be at all prepared to host someone in a wheelchair, and I bet that’s true for a lot of people."
"If I were in OP’s place, I would have put towels on the floor, but I think they said they live in an apartment so they might not have room to store spare towels for dirty tasks as I do."
"It was just a bad/unprepared situation all around, I think." ~ tragicxharmony
"NTA, it is dirty; you have a right to ask someone to take appropriate steps to not dirty up your house." ~ Tarilyn13
"NTA - I get that the wheelchair is her feet, and someone with muddy feet would be reasonable about cleaning them before walking on a stranger’s white carpet." ~ jumper4747
"As someone who used to need a wheelchair, I felt like the wheelchair was my feet and the wheels were my shoes."
"My home is a shoes-off home, and I always felt really gross having to wheel around at home in my outside wheels." ~ Gramplebample
"NTA. Honestly, people would rather you send them a costly carpet cleaning after the wheels leave two streaks on your white carpet, or are you supposed to eat that cost, if you can even get the stain out, for etiquette?"
"I offer slippers for people who don’t want to go barefoot."
"If I had a wheelchair bound friend, I would offer covers for the wheels, but of course you didn’t know about this ahead of time.
"Your friend is really the AH for not giving you notice ahead of time if she knows you are meticulous about your home." ~ MinuteElegant774
"Wheelchair socks exist for this very reason: to have a way to cover wheels inside and avoid getting the dirt from the street inside of the home."
"Unfortunately, your friend felt slighted by the request, but you're definitely not the first person to be concerned about tracking things in."
"I think by asking and giving the option of her wiping it or you doing it made it pretty clear that you were trying to respect her boundaries while maintaining your own."
"NTA." ~ DratiniLinguini
"My husband uses a wheelchair, and our floors and cars can get really filthy if we don't stay on top of keeping his wheels clean."
"It's one of the main reasons why we have dark, washable rugs. NTA." ~ wendilove
"NTA. It's a really awkward situation."
"I think your friend could have pre-empted this if she's been to your house before."
"White carpet is such an unusual and inconvenient choice - I can't believe that she didn't think of this in respect of the wheels."
"Joy's position would have been the most uncomfortable, though."
"If you hadn't said anything, she would presumably have left marks on the carpet, and surely that would have been very awkward for her, too."
"I would have put something down on the floor."
"I always have old shower curtains and duvet covers to use as dust sheets, and maybe, given that you have white carpet, you need to have something similar."
"I must admit, I wouldn't think of this scenario if I had white carpets."
"But it is about accessibility - either a wheelchair user can't come in, or they're likely going to feel humiliated."
"Nobody in a wheelchair has ever entered my house, mind."
"I think your friend is the most likely candidate for AH here." ~ chocklityclair
"NTA; ambulatory wheelchair user here (so I can walk a little and tend to indoors), I'd say perhaps tires are even worse than shoes as there's a larger surface area and the treads tend to be deeper."
"I keep wipes and spray in a bag on my chair in case of muck and wouldn't be offended in the least."
"'You also offered to do it!'" ~ Green_Eyed_Slayer
"Your friend is being an a**hole."
"It's a wheelchair."
"The wheels will get dirty."
"It's reasonable to want to avoid dirt on a white carpet, and I'd have asked to wipe the wheels down too."
"It is not a reflection on wheelchair users; just a basic fact."
"If she'd been in shoes, you'd ask her to take them off, right?"
"But she can't take off a wheelchair, so you accommodated!"
"NTA. I don't know why your friend and Joy decided to take this personally, but they're weird as hell for doing so." ~ Jabberbrill
"NTA- it’s a shoe-free house and essentially the wheels are shoes in this situation."
"Sounds like you offered for her to clean them or to do it yourself."
"You cleaned the wheels for her, and u have white carpet."
"You acknowledged the street/sidewalk in front of your own house was dirty."
"Doesn’t sound like you implied she was dirty."
"However, some people get bent out of shape over being asked to remove their shoes, so you never can win, can you." ~ Accurate-Upstairs-49
"No, you aren't, and you cleaned it for her, so whatever!"
"I hate people wearing shoes in my home, and wheels are the same."
"Your house, your rules." ~ Quiet_Dot_3306
"NTA. Many years ago I dated a guy who used a wheelchair, and he always cleaned the wheels off when he went into someone's house."
"Didn't matter if it was carpet or other easier-to-clean flooring." ~ Royal-Net9098
Reddit is with you, OP.
If you ask people to take off their shoes when they enter, this is the exact same thing.
Hopefully, Joy and your friend will see it that way, eventually.
Good Luck.
u/Dismal_Condition_824/Reddit