A man knew what he was getting into when he married a woman who had a twin sister.
But nothing could prepare him for what happened on his way to the grocery store.
Redditor MrStellar_Anonymous admitted that “Today I F’d Up” (TIFU) in the popular subReddit community where fellow “dumba**es” share their moments of having done something “ridiculously stupid.”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“TIFU by thinking my sister in law was my wife.”
Before delving into his post, the OP jokingly explained what might’ve happened with some jarring details.
“Holy smokes y’all, this just happened. I was fully naked with my d*ck and saw my ‘wife’ bent over (with no panties) loading the dryer so I put it in but she screeched and said ‘what are you doing brother in law.'”
“It was her twin sister…None of that happened. Stop writing these stories.”
And now that he got our attention with the racy anecdote, the OP humbly described what really went down.
“My wife does actually have a twin sister and they look relatively alike. The only real tell are the freckles on my wife and that my sister in law is paler.”
“A key piece of information is that my sister in law is supposed to be on the other side of the country.”
“Now picture being on the way to the stores to get groceries, like on any other day, and seeing what looked like your wife, making out (very publicly might I add) with an older guy outside the park.”
“I don’t even know why I thought it was her since I left her at home but the brain is an interesting organ.”
“I froze and my eyes were stuck on the two of them as I drove past and straight into another car. Not giving a single f’k about crashing into some else’s car, I jumped out and ran over to the couple to confront them.”
“The owner of the car didn’t seem to share my concern of possible infidelity in my marriage because he literally tackled me onto the floor and held me down while another person took a picture of my licence plate.”
“It was a big mess and caused quite a bit of a scene.”
Eventually, the OP had things sorted out and described the aftermath of his false recognition.
“I did eventually find out that it was actually my sister in law and that was with her very much older (and secret) boyfriend so not only did I f’k up my bumper, crash into an Escalade (reminder to stay up to date with insurance), injure my knee during the tackle and made myself look like a fool, I also became the catalyst to the pretty awkward introduction of my SIL’s boyfriend to my in laws.”
“Fun times indeed.”
Anonymous strangers had plenty to say about the caper.
“I thought this would be a typical TIFU but i am pleasantly surprised this one is unique, hope you’re ok man!” – notsafeforh0me
“At least you showed your wife in a weird roundabout way that you love her so much you’d crash a car, and fight someone for her.”
“Gotta look on the bright side!” – blazingwaffle58
The amateur comedians of Reddit had a field day.
“That ESCALATED quickly.” – Gelrose
“Escaladed quickly.” – oh_the_Dredgery
We all have the capability of dispensing with all logic in an instant.
“The best part is that you just left your wife at home. We truly are our own worst enemies sometimes with our lack of clear thought!”
“Hope everything turns out ok.” – Slightball
People wanted to know the reaction of the person who tackled the OP after finding out the truth.
The OP wrote:
“He was more apologetic and embarrassed than anything when I cleared things up. His friend was the one who couldn’t stop laughing.”
One Redditor saw past the levity with a concern.
“Technically that’s assault and battery on the person who tackled you. I would consult an attorney immediately.” – redbeardandyestheydo
The OP insinuated he’d be open to considering the suggestion depending on the severity of his injury.
“Maybe it’s just the joy that my wife isn’t cheating on me or that the guy felt bad when I explained what happened, but I don’t really blame him. Maybe that’ll change depending on how bad my knee is.”
But other Redditors advised the OP to seriously consider making litigation.
“He had no right to assault you. You don’t know the potential long term damage that it caused into you go to the doctor.”
“It’s really important that you at least get a consultation quickly. It’s not about taking advantage of someone, but rather protecting yourself and having your situation made whole.” – redbeardandyestheydo
“Uh wtf press charges on that person thats straight up aggravated assault, even if they thought you were leaving the scene that is in no way justified.” – RaphtotheMax5
“You seem to be perfectly okay with the fact someone assaulted you and injured you. If I were you I would press charges.” – zoologist88
Some were entertained by the OP’s comedic voice in recounting his story.
“Ok, yeah OP. Thanks for a wild ride, you have a great voice for writing.”
“I’m a tough critic and today I’m tipping my cap to you. Cheers!” – My_Unit_Is_A_Hog
“It made me laugh, feel good about my most recent f’k up.” – SatanicalBitch
Here’s to the OP for a quick recovery from his knee injury.