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Teen Blasts Bio Mom In Front Of Family For Not Having A Bed For Her To Sleep in When She Visits

Teenage girl in bed
Karen Moskowitz/Getty Images

Redditor biomombedroom has always lived with her dad. She’s never had a close relationship with her biological mother, but on occasion goes to visit.

The Original Poster (OP) was recently put on the spot by her mother when they were both at a party attended by her mom’s side of the family.

The OP’s mom called out the fact that the OP never comes to visit. In response, the OP turned the spotlight on her mother asking her to show the family where her room is.

The OP doesn’t have her own bedroom at her biological mom’s house, and instead shares with her half-siblings.

This embarrassed OP’s bio-mom, leading to an early departure by the OP.

This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for telling my bio moms family that I don’t visit because I don’t have a bed there”

She went on to explain:

“I’ve lived with my dad my entire life. He married my mom when I was 2 and she’s all but adopted me [15-year-old female].”

“My bio mom lives about 5 miles away with her husband and their kids [12-year-old female and 8-year-old male]. I don’t live with her, never have, and probably never will.”

“I visit her sometimes, like once a month, but we both know she’s not my mom. I’ve called her by her first name since I was like 5.”

“I don’t have a room or a bed at her house and there’s no pictures of me in there.”

“My bio mom talked me into going to some family party with her and her family. I don’t know anyone there so I was mostly just hanging out with her while I was there.”

“She started talking about how I never see her and it took an act of god to get me to go to this party so I told her to show them my room.”

“She tried to show them her daughter’s room so I said ‘no, that’s Amanda’s room, see the A by her bed?’ and she was out of rooms after that because it’s only a 2 bedroom house.”

“She pulled me aside and said to stop and that I was making her look bad so we went back and I told her siblings that I wasn’t allowed to talk about not having a bed at her house anymore…”

“…because it makes her look bad.”

“Apparently that wasn’t good enough either because she tried telling me to give her my phone. I reminded her that she’s not my mom then called my mom and told her to pick me up.”

“My mom picked me up and she’s really mad at my bio mom for all of this but my dad says it sucks but I should’ve taken it since I’m probably never gonna see these people again.”

“I’m not in trouble but they can’t agree whether I was right or wrong so I wanted to know if I was the a**”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. She wanted to put up a facade about your relationship for her guests. You showed them the truth. You didn’t make her look bad – she made herself look bad.”

“If she didn’t want to feel embarrassed she could have 1.) not brought it up to her guests 2.) done the bare minimum of getting you an air mattress for your visits.”

“3.) bought bunk beds or a Murphy bed.”

“Maybe tell her you won’t do overnight visits, or just avoid visits until she makes some actual effort in your relationship.” – savinathewhite

“NTA but why would you keep contact with your bio mom if she doesn’t even treat you like her own daughter? I would go NC. You have a father and a mother – your family is complete.” – Curiobizz

“NTA, Did your bio mom expect you to actually lie to make her look like a good mom? You don’t owe her anything. I can only imagine what she was telling that side of the family before this party.”

“Also you going back and telling them you weren’t allowed to talk about not having a bed at her house anymore made me laugh. That was perfect!!!” – Nerdygirl1984

“Give me a f*cking break! Your bio mom is downright despicable. She complains you don’t spend enough time with her and yet she has the audacity to not provide you a bedroom?”

“Not to mention there isn’t a single picture of you in the house!”

“OP, you are absolutely NTA. But you and your parents will absolutely be raging a**holes if you continue to have this rude, selfish woman in your life.”

“Time to go NC and move on. Like yesterday.” – Ok-Ebb4485

“You are not the A**! Your bio mom sure so though. She wanted to look good for something she isn’t doing and you called her out and out her in her place.”

“She deserved it. Why do you even bother to visit her? Doesn’t sound like you have a good time with her.” – ConfusedAt63

“NTA. Egg donor FAFO. If she doesn’t like the consequences of her relatives seeing that she’s a lying sack of cr*p, then she should stop lying.”

“My parents used to do stuff like this to me a lot when I was younger, telling lies about me in public to disparage me to their friends and acquaintances.”

“It stopped when I finally got tired of being the family scapegoat and started calling them on their bullying in public.”

“When I left home for university, our interactions dwindled to occasional phone calls. They have to lie to their friends about me now because they know nothing about my life and never will.”

“They lost that privilege a long time ago.”

“OP, Shake the Egg Donor and her family off your shoes like dust and live your best life with your family that love you.” – Saucy_Lamb


“‘She started talking about how I never see her and it took an act of god to get me to go to this party'”

“She brought it up, so it was fair game.” – Additional_Good5755


“If you don’t feel welcome why would you want to stay over?” – firebirdinflames


“You just wouldn’t let your bio Mom lie and get away with trying to play ‘poor me, she doesn’t visit often’ game.”

“I’m sure for years she’s been making excuses or saying that you’re always welcome, but you’re busy, your Dad doesn’t let you…etc…etc.”

“Now some folks know she’s full of it. lol.” – 1moreKnife2theheart

“NTA, good job showing the rest of the family what kind of person she is. Not only does she know it’s not right but that the rest of the family would want better for you too.” – SubarcticFarmer

“NTA. How did she explain the lack of pictures of you in the house?” – trophywife1234

“Yes you were an a**, a total bad a**. You were deliberately problematic to deal with problematic behaviour. Good on you. NTA” – NinjaHidingintheOpen

“You are absolutely NTAH.”

“I have a bio mother, an adopted mom, a stepmom, and a mother in law”

“My bio mother tried to be ‘look at how Christian I am, the child I gave up for adoption from a relationship I had with a married man….'”

“‘I’ve invited her to my family gatherings and i pray for her… look I’m a good Christian … also I hate your transgender son… but I’m a Christian so Jesus loves me. 🤢'”


“My family is my family.”

“I found her so I could learn my medical history, and to learn about how I came to be….and honestly, I wanted to look like someone I was related to.”

“I definitely should never have opened that Pandora’s box. She’s a psycho…so are my half siblings.”

“I have 3 other mothers who love me and my children.”

“You have a mother who loves you. She has shown you, that she loves you and will be there for you.”

“That is your mom. Don’t look back.”

“That woman (your bio mother) showed you who she is. And believe her.”

“Forget and forgive (if you feel like you need to forgive her, for your own inner peace …) and move on.” – RusselTheWonderCat

“NTA- your egg donor is the a**hole. Don’t waste your time with her.” – spaceylaceygirl

“NTA – bravo for not playing some fake part in saving your bio mum’s face. “ – Impossible-Most-366


“Your biomom for sure have been playing the victim card for years of how your dad have alienated you from her and that’s why you don’t have a relationship.”

“You did nothing wrong.” – marv115


“You have just successfully pulled the curtain back on your egg donor and showed her family that you most definitely don’t have whatever kind of fairytale she had been weaving for them.”

“Probably pretending to be the perfect ‘Mother’ and conning people into giving her sympathy and pity parties about how you were ‘conditioned’ to hate her by ‘them’ (your parents)…”

“…and that now, no matter what amazingly, wonderful things she does for you, you are just constantly ungrateful and refuse to spend time with her would be my guess.”

“Anyway, I bet it felt bloody brilliant!”

“Well done you. And, obviously you’re NTA xxx” – TreeElfOfSpieWood

Bio mom’s status just got demoted to “egg donor.”

What do you think about the situation? Let us know in the comments below.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)