When it comes to blood relations, a lot of people will argue that “family is family,” and family should always be there for one another.
But being related by blood doesn’t cover up for a person’s hurtful actions, argued the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Odd_Masterpiece_7543 felt deeply compromised when her sixteen-year-old niece and two men broke into her home and stole multiple expensive items.
But when her family accused her of taking things too far by alerting the police, the Original Poster (OP) wondered why her family wasn’t doing more to teach her niece about actions and consequences.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for calling the police on my niece and not telling my sister beforehand?”
The OP noticed her teenage niece exhibiting some alarming behaviors.
“I (24 Female) have a sister (35 Female) who has a 16-year-old daughter.”
“Her daughter has started rebelling and being a teenager. (By being a teenager I don’t mean stealing, I mean being mouthy or thinking she is invincible and that she knows better than everyone.)”
“But recently she’s gotten sticky fingers. She’s been banned from the mall in our neighborhood, she was suspended from school for taking a girl’s phone, and she’s even tried to pawn her mother’s wedding ring.”
“I don’t like my niece at my house for this reason. I have worked too hard for my things for them to be stolen.”
Then the OP’s niece took things too far.
“Two weeks ago, I noticed the patio door was unlocked, and I always make sure I lock all my doors before I leave.”
“My fiancée suggested we get cameras, so we put cameras in the house.”
“Last week (Wednesday), my fiancé and I went to go look at wedding venues, and we were gone all day. When we got back, I only had to unlock the bottom lock to get in the house, so we checked the cameras.”
“Sure enough, my niece and her friends somehow picked the lock to the window, and she was in our house for hours with two guys. They took some money from my purse, they took two of my fiancé’s Rolex watches, and they also took my grandmother’s wedding ring that she left for me when she passed away last year from cancer.”
“They were eating snacks and watching TV, shoes on our table and couch. Just like they live there and this is normal.”
The OP gave her sister an ultimatum.
“I called my sister and told her what happened. I said my niece had two days to give me everything back or I’d call the police. She said she would handle it.”
“Thursday came around. Nothing. Friday came around. Nothing.”
“So I called the police, showed them the video, and filed a report.”
“I got a call later from my sister, crying and screaming that I should have told her beforehand.”
“I told her I gave her two days to come up with the stolen items, and when I heard nothing back, I told her I was going to call the police. She’s lucky I gave her grace for two days.”
The family clearly picked sides.
“My mom called me and said, ‘You don’t have kids so you don’t understand.'”
“I told her it doesn’t matter if I have kids or not. She committed a crime and brought two random people into my house. My safety is in danger.”
“I don’t get the whole ‘You should have warned me.’ Warned her for what? So she could hide her? I don’t think I did anything wrong.”
“My sister and her husband said they won’t be coming to our wedding, and I told them, ‘The invitation was revoked when your daughter stole my things.'”
“I’ve been getting threats from her husband. I want to block them but my fiancé says, ‘Keep all the evidence in case something else happens.'”
“We were already planning to move after we got married, but now that move can’t come soon enough.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that the niece better learn now that actions have consequences.
“NTA. If this were a random stranger, you’d call the police. There’s no difference. It’s nobody’s business other than you and your niece’s, well now the police too.”
“What the h**l does not having children have to do with breaking and entering and theft? So your mom thinks it’s okay for her granddaughter to steal from you?”
“Your fiancé is correct, don’t block and collect evidence. You did warn your sister, she thought you were bluffing, you weren’t.” – Vandreeson
“Jesus f**king Ch**st, this is so violating.”
“I’m extremely close with my siblings. Not only would they have kicked their kids’ butts for having the audacity to be such a sh*t, they would have marched her into the police station themselves.”
“Doubt you’ll ever speak to your sister again, but if you do, I’d be asking her how she thinks this will end? With her child breaking into strangers’ homes? With her potentially being charged with a felony? How did she think this was going to end???” – BrownSugarBare
“The whole ‘kids will be kids’ thing only means that you can EXPECT them to make stupid decisions or be naughty sometimes or whatever. Because they WILL and that’s normal.”
“But that doesn’t mean you IGNORE the bad behavior or stupid decisions they make; you parent them when it comes up and teach them to do better!”
“Kids don’t learn from naughty behavior or stupid decisions unless someone teaches them! They don’t just get a year older and suddenly know what they weren’t taught.”
“People who say ‘kids will be kids’ need to understand that they can’t just say that and wash their hands of the issue – they still have to do some parenting to help the kid do better next time.” – DaniMW
“NTA. Your sister is basically being like, ‘You don’t understand having kids…’ like this is normal teenage turbulence… NO, it is not. This is alarming stuff and felonious since those items mentioned, such as Rolexes, are very expensive.”
“Her daughter is on a path to irreparably sabotage her life and future, and your sister is basically shrugging it off like she stole a wine cooler out of the fridge.” – cMeeber
“I honestly don’t even know how you would reclaim your safe space, knowing this dangerous a**hole has it out for you and knows where you live. Sorry that you have to go through this, especially with a wedding around the corner.”
“I hope this incident doesn’t make your family choose sides because reporting a blood relative is a taboo subject.” – lovetetrisgg
Others agreed and encouraged the OP to stay safe.
“You call the police on your sister’s husband for making threats and give them a copy of the evidence, and you put in a security system including cameras showing all doors into the apartment, as well as the first-floor windows, preferably glass break sensors, and motion sensors inside.”
“Preferably set things up so you can turn it on and go to bed and it will protect everything but your bedroom and maybe a path to the bathroom, so that at night you can turn it on and go to bed and it will protect you until you turn it off in the morning.”
“If your car has an alarm, turn it on at all times when you’re not driving. And keep it in the garage if you have one, or in view of a camera if you don’t.”
“Put bright color stickers on all the windows and doors indicating that the home is protected with cameras and alarms (most alarm companies have something or you can find something on Amazon).”
“Put a sign on the dash that says something like, ‘Smile! You’re on candid camera!’ The point here is to try to make sure they know that if they try to vandalize your car at your home or break into your home, you’ll have plenty of evidence.”
“Then you can be sure you’re reasonably safe until you move out.” – themcp
“Girl, get motion sensors. The ones that immediately go to the police if there’s trespassing. Get a restraining order. Get new locks (fingerprint/password) for both your doors and windows. Get security alarms so the whole neighborhood hears when someone enters your house without a code.”
“Protect yourself. You can also take your sister and her kid to court for what they stole. A Rolex? A grandmother’s ring? Probably more? Unleash h**l. NTA.” – delinaX
“NTA. Get a restraining order on them. In fact, send the video to the whole family and extended family and let everyone know what happened before they mar your reputation as well as warning to bar your niece from their homes.”
“Your wedding won’t be the only family gathering they would not attend after. They do not deserve another word out of your mouth if they can’t understand how severe this invasion is.”
“Best wishes for your wedding.” – lovestring
“Get a housesitter for your wedding AND honeymoon. Hire them again when you’re moving so they can be in the house as you go in and out. Then make sure you’re not followed. I know that sounds like a lot, but this is serious; please be careful.” – Flossy_40
“I’m a lawyer and one of my first thoughts was reporting those threats.”
“We obviously don’t know the specific laws of OP’s state or the nature of the husband’s ‘threats,’ so it’s hard to say whether his actions would actually qualify as witness tampering or not.”
“However, I am sure the police officer investigating the case would be interested in learning about the husband’s statements.”
“If I were OP, I would retain all text message records and record phone calls (depending on state law regarding single party consent to recording) or immediately write down any threatening statements immediately after they are made.” – Tiger2012
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
“We do have a security system now. We’ve changed the locks. We’re getting a safe for his watches and the more valuable stuff.”
“We were planning on moving by the end of the year and none of my family will know where I live now. I don’t feel safe here knowing two random men know where I live.”
“My fiancé also says that we’re getting a guard dog. We were already talking about getting a dog… and no, this isn’t just for guarding; we wanted one before but we were waiting until we moved.”
“I have not gotten any of my things back as of yet. I am calling around to local pawn shops, checking Facebook, Craigslist, all of it.”
“We don’t really care about the items Just that our safety was threatened. Well I care about the ring. I loved that ring, my grandfather saved up so much so he could buy my grandma that ring, I’m genuinely heartbroken over that.”
The subReddit was super creeped out over the boundaries the niece had crossed and how she had sacrificed the OP’s safety and peace of mind by doing this to her home.
Family may be family, but family shouldn’t steal from one another or make someone feel unsafe. If they couldn’t even honor those most basic agreements, then family shouldn’t be above calling the police.