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Woman Livid After ‘Mediocre’ Ex Gets His New Fiancée Pregnant In The Middle Of Their Divorce

Couple announcing pregnancy
Vasil Dimitrov/Getty Images

Content Warning: Menopause, Divorce, Unhappy Marriages

It seems like no matter how much some people have, they can never be happy.

But sometimes there may be more to their unhappiness, like something medical, reasoned the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.

Redditor friedoreosarebest was deeply hurt when his wife told him that he was a mediocre husband and that he didn’t make her happy, which led her to initiating a divorce.

But when he later found out that she was potentially in the early stages of menopause, the Original Poster (OP) almost felt bad for starting a family with his new girlfriend.

He asked the sub:

“AITAH for having a kid when my ex-wife is going through menopause?”

The OP was struggling in his marriage.

“My ex-wife (45 Female) and I (43 Male) are in the process of divorce. We have two kids in high school.”

“She started to hate me during the last year of my marriage, along with having mood swings and just being s**tty towards me.”

“The only thing I could think of at that time was that she was being hormonal. She didn’t like when I told her she was being hormonal, she would get defensive, so I stopped trying to talk about it.”

“I told her to see a doctor, but she refused.”

The OP eventually gave his wife an ultimatum.

“I don’t think she would have listened to me otherwise, so I gave her an ultimatum to go to therapy and go see a doctor or we are done.”

“She asked for a divorce. I didn’t argue, I told her that was fine if that’s what she wanted.”

“She told me I am a mediocre husband and she is better off alone. That actually definitely defines me, I am a mediocre husband, I am not very good-looking, and I am not a millionaire. I never cheated, so I guess I am not a bad husband, just mediocre.”

“She filed the petition for divorce.”

The OP saw this as a fresh start.

“Then a few months later, she suddenly withdrew the petition and told me that she was having second thoughts.”

“I filed the petition myself because I met a woman (36 Female) who was nice to me which came as a shock to my system. I couldn’t have gone back to my ex-wife after that.”

“As it turns out, my ex-wife’s sister convinced her to see a doctor as she discussed her period irregularities with her.”

“Since going to the doctor, it was confirmed she was going through perimenopause, and she just started receiving treatment. She started dragging the process so we have been going through divorce forever.”

But the OP was not having second thoughts.

“My girlfriend found out she is pregnant. I told her that I was a mediocre dude, and that that’s why my ex left me.”

“She told me that she is also a mediocre woman and she wants to raise a mediocre kid with me and to live in a mediocre house and live a mediocre life 🙂 (smiley face).”

“So she is now my fiancee and wife as soon as I get divorced.”

“I thought the news of her pregnancy would make my ex understand that our marriage ended, but she went crazy about it. She is now claiming I abandoned her when she needed me the most.”

“She said that I am a bad person for having a kid when she is going through menopause. But she left me first.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some thought the OP’s new relationship sounded sweet, happy, and perfectly mediocre. 

“The OP said, ‘She told me that she is also a mediocre woman and she wants to raise a mediocre kid with me and to live in a mediocre house and live a mediocre life 🙂 (smiley face).”

“LOL (laughing out loud), I love this. Get it printed on a t-shirt or something.”

“Like, ‘Mediocre Man. Mediocre Wife. Mediocre Kid. Mediocre Life.'”

“It’s perfect!” – Happy-Parrots-171

“I like boring these days. But I feel like I appreciate it so much more because I know what it’s like to have a not-boring life, and it sucked a**. People equate ‘exciting’ with positive things and it just as easily (maybe more easily) goes the other way.” – WillBSGirl

“A lot of people live under the belief a relationship is meant to have that ‘excitement’ of the high highs and low lows and they self-sabotage when things are good because they can’t handle the ‘boring’ and are craving the vast emotional swings.”

“They’d do better to rewire their brains to crave the boring!” – Yetikins

“My husband and I say boring is underrated. A nice quiet aka boring life is fine.”

“I don’t need excitement all the time. I like to be engaged in my hobbies and things I enjoy, and do things we enjoy together but I don’t need drama aka excitement.”

“I also went through perimenopause, it sucks, but it wasn’t my husband’s fault, and I got help from my medical providers. I am so so so tired of reading about pregnant or menopausal women being horrible and saying, ‘but hormones!!'”

“Nope, get help, just like we would tell anybody else dealing with any type of issue. You can’t take it out on others and use it as an excuse.” – MNConcerto

“NTA. Listen, some women do genuinely go quite nuts while going through menopause. My grandmother was actually institutionalized for it, and my mom swears she can’t even remember years of her life, which is convenient because she did some s**tty things during that period.”

“That being said, you asked her to get help, and she denied she had a problem and was not even willing to look into it, and that’s on her. Not only was she not willing to get help, she asked for a divorce. And mediocrity is underrated!” – Level-Tangerine-8172

Others agreed and were happy for the OP, but they also empathized with his ex-wife.

“No defending the wife at all, but… Man, the number of ladies that come into my business because of volatile mood swings brought on by peri/menopause is astounding.”

“In the last 16 years, I went from seeing 80 women a year to now seeing triple that a month. And it is getting worse. Menopause Dementia is also on the fast rise.”

“OP, you have every right to divorce, but sadly, your wife will probably never forgive herself.”

“The number of women who are presenting almost ‘split personalities’ because of menopause is just scary. It isn’t until they start therapy do they realize the issues.”

“Good luck OP, but I hope your ex gets the proper care needed.” – OriginalDogeStar

“My wife is going through perimenopause earlier than expected right now. It’s crazy how much of a temper she gets sometimes, but then she’ll say, ‘Let me excuse myself; I think my hormones are acting up.'”

“We’ve found weed helps, so she’ll step outside for a minute and come in more relaxed.”

“Sometimes when I notice it affecting her, I just tell her to relax while I take our son to the park for a couple of hours.”

“She’s the most level-headed woman I’ve met, so it’s interesting to see this change.” – f**kdisss**t

“I honestly expect that she was a completely different person when she wasn’t being treated and has basically woken up to realize she blew up her entire life with a person she actually loved and valued.”

“It’s tragic, my heart goes out to her, but it’s not OP’s fault.” – sunbearsunbear2525

“My mom went through menopause in my teenage years. It basically ruined our relationship permanently. Hours of screaming most days, and even now I can’t handle being yelled at without significant stress.”

“I don’t disagree that I think there’s more to this story, but I do understand the grinding weight of living with somebody with untreated mental illness. I’m never going to spend years being abused, whatever the reason. I’d rather be alone.”

“Whatever the context, what he went through would end the relationship for me.” – Sawses

“YTA. You were still married when you started up with another woman. I don’t care why or if you were going through things with the wife. In fact, you suspected she was going through something out of the ordinary. Now your marriage, which may have survived, is over. When her menopause is under control, you could have had a stronger marriage than before.”

“Now you’re engaged while still married?! Ridiculous. You should have waited until the divorce was final before proposing to another woman. I would have thrown the ring in your face and said get back to me when you’re single. In fact, I would have never gotten started with a married man to begin with, much less gotten myself pregnant.”

“Why even get married when the vows mean nothing to either of you?”

“A real prize you got there. You probably deserve each other.” – 239Tree

It seemed everyone in the subReddit could understand the OP wanting to feel appreciated, loved, and cared for, rather than ridiculed, but some felt terrible for what the OP’s ex-wife was going through and encouraged the OP to slow the whole situation down a bit.

Happiness and mediocrity could be lovely, but not at the expense of other people.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.