Relationships don’t always work out.
Sometimes they simply fizzle, sometimes one person wants out for one reason or another, and sometimes something is done that just can’t be looked past.
But when the latter transpires, some deeply hurt parties tend to take the high road, regardless of what went down.
On occasion, however, the betrayed make their outrage known, especially if the guilty party spreads lies about what actually happened.
A man on Reddit refuses to take down a Facebook post about his serial-cheating ex-wife’s “affair baby” despite pleas from her family, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor StretchAway3415 asked:
“AITA for clarifying via Social Media post that my wife’s baby was the product of her illicit affairs?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My ( M[ale]/49) wife Cynthia ( F[emale]/45) got pregnant against my will, after we had discussed and agreed on not having any more kids ( we already have F[emale]/18, M[ale]/13, M[ale]/8, M[ale]/4).”
“I was scheduled for a vasectomy.”
“She claimed she was on the pill but I was using condoms because I wanted to make sure nothing happened.”
“I had my vasectomy, but she was pregnant a few weeks later.”
“She was overjoyed and I wasn’t.”
“I didn’t want to be an old dad.”
“She claimed the pills didn’t work.”
“I never pushed for her getting surgery because I know it’s harder for women, and she said injectable contraceptives hurt her health.”
“I checked all my condoms and all of them had been pierced.”
“We had a huge argument that ended with her crying.”
“My trust has been destroyed.”
“I assume that nothing she says is true.”
“She also got fired when she was 3 months pregnant.”
“I found it weird that she didn’t fight it.”
“Then she said she needed to stay home, which is exactly what I dreaded.”
“She said morning sickness was too bad to go to work.”
“For our entire 18 years of marriage, she has pushed to be a SAHM.”
“We can’t afford it.”
“She gave me the silent treatment for weeks after our second was born when I said she needed to find a job.”
“I never heard the end of it as she calls it ‘when I made her leave our baby and sent her to get a job’ like I had ripped her away from our kid.”
“I got suspicious thinking that perhaps she had resigned and was lying.”
“I know it’s wrong but I got into her phone.”
“Long story short, she had a workplace affair and she and her AP both got canned.”
“She slept with him during her training out of state and eventually scheduled every assignment out of town to cheat with him.”
“He is in his late 50s, married.”
“She also slept with my cousin’s son ( Nelson M[ale]/29), and he’s a drug addict.”
“I saw and heard messages between them.”
“He would come to my house when I was out.”
“I have asked the neighbor and they confirmed.”
“My neighbor said Nelson would show up sometimes 2 days in a row when I was out.”
“I checked my schedule and it could have been when I went to Ohio for 3 weeks.”
“I came home on weekends but everything seemed normal.”
“What’s worse is that Nelson calls me Uncle.”
“I let him stay over a couple of times.”
“She also used our own kids ( our 2 youngest) as leverage, promising that he could see them if he didn’t pressure her and kept his mouth shut.”
“So she obviously put him in some type of a step daddy role.”
“She told him the pregnancy was his baby.”
“I hate him, but I think she manipulated him because he has zero relationship with his parents or his siblings and he kept texting her about how she was like ‘home’ to him.”
“I lost it and woke her up.”
“I confronted both men.”
“I reached out to her ex coworker via social media but he blocked me after a couple of exchanged messages.”
“Nelson did get belligerent, and it could have probably ended in a real fight if I had him in front of me.”
“The paternity test came as negative.”
“I moved out and got a lawyer.”
“I refused to be at the hospital during childbirth.”
“It was a stillborn. I was shocked.”
“Even if it wasn’t mine, it felt dark and strange.”
“I offered my kids emotional support but didn’t allow her to cry to me.”
“I had to get a court order to get a DNA test on all our kids ( they are mine).”
“A few weeks ago, people on Facebook started asking questions and attempting to call me out for not posting anything about the baby.”
“I think she might have told someone that I wasn’t present at childbirth because a couple of people came at me.”
“We are getting a divorce, and I’m very angry that she’s still trying to milk it.”
“I told each person the truth separately, but eventually got fed up with looking like the bad guy and wrote a post saying thank you to everyone who has reached out to insult me, but the baby was not my child as per the paternity test.”
“It had to step away from social media because of it.”
“Her family called me, asking to take it down.”
“They didn’t know the full story but said ‘ this is not how things get solved.'”
“I’m not deleting it, despite being called out for S-shaming.”
“While I worked my a** off for our family, she was texting her best friend and complaining about how I’m not the shadow of my former self, how I look old and let myself go.”
“Her friend had an angry response, but they are not on speaking terms anymore.”
“Cynthia claimed that her friend ghosted her, and she doesn’t know why.”
“I’m suing for custody since she repeatedly took my kids across the state so that Nelson could hang out with them and left them with her dad before I came home from work so that she could go ‘do work stuff’ and have sex outside of our marriage.”
“She had been begging me not to ever tell the kids about the paternity test, but they needed to know the truth before she twisted the narrative.”
“My daughter won’t speak to her, and our second child wants to come live with me.”
“I’m sick of crying sporadically because sometimes I’m driving and can’t hold it in.”
“I can’t even watch p*rn because she and her APs come to mind.”
“I had a family, and despite everything, I was proud and happy, and she took it away.”
“I didn’t know she saw me as less ( she told her ex-best friend that she loved watching the executives in her job).”
“At least her friend defended me, although we are not close.”
“My lawyer says we should contact her as a character witness.”
“I hate Cynthia, and I told her during her pregnancy when she wanted to initiate sex.”
“She’s naturally overweight, and I loved her as such, but I hated the knocked up by the AP version of her.”
“I told her she looked grotesque like Jabba the Hutt.”
“Her lawyer is pushing for family counseling.”
“I would only agree to civil coparenting but nothing oriented at couple’s reconciliation bullsh*t.”
“She calls it a mistake, but to me, she bred via infidelity and created an entire human being and I will never forget that.”
“AITA for refusing to take my post down? AITA for refusing to show compassion?”
“All I want is to get out of her life and I feel like she’s trying to keep me from moving on.”
“Sorry if I don’t make too much sense but my mind is still foggy.”
Redditors weighed in on the situation, and all agreed OP is not the a**hole (NTA) in this situation, with many concurring that his ex-wife made her own bed.
“NTA. So long as she is spinning a false narrative, you should feel free to defend your own reputation.”
“To anyone demanding you take that down, ask to have her post the truth instead and you will no longer need to defend yourself.”
“It also seems like there are many APs, and you have been holding back damning details you could describe.”
“She f**king betrayed you and the life and family you both built.” – Foolish-Pleasure99
“She is gaslighting you so bad.”
“It is really sad and extremely frustrating.”
“I would be very pissed off, too.” – Alternative_Hunt7401
“It’s not sl*t shaming telling ppl your wife was having an affair nta.” – CertainPlatypus9108
“NTA. Your wife’s infidelity and deceit justify your anger and lack of compassion.”
“Your social media post was a valid response to unfair judgment.” – ferin_xx
“The truth shall set you free!”
“NTA-Only God knows how many times and men nailed her before you caught her…you need to learn about gray rock and go that route.” – Sensitive_Pickle_935
“NTA, some people will try to convince you then you should have suffered in silence to avoid revealing the truth to your children.”
“This is BS; she would have fed them lies, so it is better for them to know the truth.”
“She is the one to blame for her own actions and their consequences.” – Gosc101
According to his fellow Redditors, OP has every right to feel justified in both his feelings and his actions.
Hopefully, he can find some comfort in this and begin to focus on his new chapter with his children.