Content Warning: "Alpine Divorce" and Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Attempted Murder, and True Crime Cases
There are a few things that should tell anyone that their relationship or marriage is effectively over.
Getting abandoned on a mountain without supplies or water should definitely be one of them, warned members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Timely_Employee2971 was used to having arguments and navigating lengthy silent treatments from her husband, but he surprised her when they were visiting another country.
Not only did he abandon the Original Poster (OP) on a hiking trail neither of them had navigated before, but he took all of their water and safety supplies with him.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for being upset that my husband left me on a hiking trail?"
The OP was traveling in another country with her husband.
"My husband (25 male) and I (25 female) are on a hiking trip out of the country."
"We were walking a trail and started arguing. We went silent for about three miles."
"When he tried to talk to me again, I didn’t really answer, so he flat-out turned around on the trail."
The OP had nothing to defend herself in the wilderness.
"He took the backpack, keys, bear spray, my coat, and our water."
"Granted, I didn’t ask for it before he walked away, but he didn't offer to leave any for me, either."
"I walked the rest of the loop (two more miles) by myself."
"I’m fuming and thinking of telling him I want to separate once we get back from the trip."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some pointed out that there was actually a word for this, an "alpine divorce," and that the relationship was effectively over.
"This is what's called an 'alpine divorce,' and it's yet another reason we'd choose the bear. I'm just gonna say that a bear wouldn't even do this crap." - LauraTheSull
"I sure wouldn't go scuba diving with him. It sucks to limit what you can do with your partner because they might put you in mortal danger." - kindcrow
"Years ago, when I was a regular skier/snowboarder at well-known resorts, I recall occasionally meeting a frightened, shivering woman mid-mountain. I’d stop and ask if she was OK."
"Every time, the answer was the same: her husband took her up the mountain promising to teach her to ski/snowboard down, but eventually got frustrated, told her to 'just figure it out,' and left her there: cold, scared, and alone."
"Of course, I stayed with them and helped teach them how to get down on their own. But I could never figure out what was going on with all these husbands literally abandoning their wives on the side of a freezing, snowy mountain."
"Now it makes sense, and the truth is more scary than I ever imagined." - Mariner-and-Marinate
"NOR. For perspective, I am a very active hiker and camper (Female), engaged to a man."
"The other commenters saying this is an Alpine divorce are right. He not only abandoned you on the trail, but he also took away your shared supplies."
"This man literally left you alone in the woods, without water."
"You are 100% justified in being extremely upset." - _indelible_
"This is how a certain kind of documentary starts." - slackey1979
Others agreed and urged the OP to always come prepared in case someone did this to her.
"Always carry your own gear when hiking, especially water. Anything can happen out there. You could get separated for any number of reasons, and getting stuck without water can be deadly in some places." - dewihafta
"Always bring twice the water you think you’ll need. Hiking enthusiasts lie about the difficulty of hikes because they think you’ll love it if you just try it and get confused as to why you brought three hours of water for what you were told was a three-hour hike (when it is six, uphill)." - Redqueenhypo
"I live somewhere hot, and I like to take spontaneous hikes. If I’m halfway through my water but less than halfway into the hike, I turn around."
"I don’t care if it means I don’t finish the hike. If I don’t have enough water to hydrate at my desired pace, I’m not going to risk it."
"I recommend everyone treat hikes like this, no matter how much they trust the person they're with." - Whywouldievensaythat
"NOR!!!! This wasn’t storming out of a room. This was leaving you alone in nature with no means to hydrate, feed, defend, or orient yourself if anything went wrong. In a foreign country, no less?"
"There is NO context where this okay. Just to reinforce what so many commenters have already said."
"This was dangerous, and would merit a serious review of the relationship if it were me." - Doe-and-Kit
"It’s a literal simulation of how they handle marriage when things get mildly inconvenient. 'I’m having fun, you’re slowing me down, figure it out.' Those moments completely shatter a person's trust." - BeneficialAd8354
"If teaching their wives something is too frustrating, wait until they try to teach their kid something. Hopefully, those women realize those aren't the types of men you want to have kids with." - NCAAinDISGUISE
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
"I'm laughing at all of the comments calling this an alpine divorce, because one of my friends said the same thing earlier this week. RIP to my relationship!"
"So basically, after this incident, neither one of us talked to the other for the next three days of the trip."
"He stayed in the hotel, and I went out and about like normal. I did text him one night while I was out, but I got no response."
"We have a lot of deeper-rooted issues, and we’ve been working on the 'silent treatment' in therapy. Anytime this happens, it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong; I’m always the one to cave in and mend the situation."
"We’ve been trying to work on in therapy on him approaching me first versus just shutting down."
The OP didn't see their relationship lasting after the trip.
"The original argument started because I called him a dumb**s. I know this isn’t right, and it’s not a good way to talk to your spouse, and I’m not proud of it."
"He finally talked to me when I got back to the room last night, and we argued for a bit, and I just stated that he has to realize there is no coming back from this, and that I don’t see a way to mend any of this (again, we’ve had lots of issues the last year and a half ish)."
"I told him we both just seem to deserve to either be alone or just with people who meet our needs better."
"All he said was that he just wants to focus on getting home and getting far away from me."
"We have a four-hour flight and a five-hour drive home. Wish me luck."
While fellow Redditors could understand the OP was coping, they urged her not to laugh at what her husband did.
"I hate how the term "Alpine divorce" hides how terrible that thing is. Women have died from being abandoned on trails in difficult conditions. It’s akin to murders in some cases." - TheAskewOne
"It's actually not funny, OP."
"A few months ago, there was just a big case with lots of media coverage in my country (Austria) where the guy abandoned his girlfriend on a hike after he got angry, and she died there. In court, it came out that he did the same thing to his ex-girlfriend, too, but she got lucky and found her way down by herself (it was also summer vs winter conditions) and didn't report it."
"This is incredibly dangerous and not far off from actual murder. Get the f**k away from this psycho. You're massively underreacting, especially since he took your water, coat, and stuff too. Like what the actual f**k!" - carlamaco
"He took your water. He may not want you dead per se, but he wouldn't have minded." - marknickles
"The OP's like, 'LOL, my husband would leave me for dead without a second thought!'"
"Like, okay, girl. I mean, I personally have a higher bar for my husband than that, but, you do you (but seriously, dump his a**)." - spilly_talent
"That’s actually insane. Two miles is at least 30 minutes alone in a place you don't know and aren't prepared for."
"My husband and I ran into a bear in the Grand Tetons with two miles left in our hike, and I had a panic attack. If he had left me, I would literally never forgive him. To me, that’s like letting your wife walk home alone from a bar at night."
"Even if you’re mad at them, you wouldn’t do it because you love them. I’m sorry, girl. I hope you let him read these comments." - idk10987654322
"It’s not something to laugh at. It’s a sign that, at best, your partner doesn’t care about your safety, and at worst, he may wish you harm. You can have an argument with some and be full of anger toward their conduct and still open a door for them or protect their safety." - yobrefas
"Yeah, f**k that. That’s f**king nuts. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this a**hole, but if that were done to me by my partner, I’d be done. You couldn’t pay me to hike by myself with no protection right now where we live (which has as high a population density of grizzlies as Banff)." - atlien0255
The subReddit was shocked by what the OP's husband had done. They took a moment to be grateful that the OP safely got off the trail and then focused on her getting a divorce and moving on before he could do something like this again.
