Who owns a gift after it's purchased, but before it's given? What if the intended recipient knows about the gift?
A newly dumped significant other turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over this very question.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Head_Score2897 asked:
"WIBTAH if I sold concert tickets I got for my boyfriend's birthday after he dumped me?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My (now ex) boyfriend's favorite artist is coming to town ON his birthday. He told me that's what he wanted for his birthday."
"I got on the pre-sale list and got him front row seats 3 and 4. I was so excited to surprise him with such good seats."
"Turns out he got front row seats 1 and 2... he said he wanted to make sure he got good seats, but it hurt that he didn't trust me to get them."
"Since we happened to get seats next to each other, we just said the more the merrier, he'll invite some friends."
"Well, he just dumped me. Out of the blue."
"The concert is in over a month away. He never solidified which friends would go with us."
"There's a financial component as well. I put in my two weeks at work on Friday and was banking on the income from those two weeks. On Monday, they made me get done early. On Tuesday, he dumped me."
"Tickets are now selling for $1,000+. On Monday, I was stressing about losing the last paycheck, and he said I could sell the tickets."
"I thought it was an absurd idea because it was his birthday present, then Tuesday he dumped me."
"Would I be the a**hole if I sold the tickets?"
"Should I let him have them?"
"I haven't sent them to him yet. I still care for him deeply and would hate to hurt him."
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided it would be fine for OP to sell the tickets (NTA/WNBTA).
"Sell the tickets. You are majorly overthinking this." ~ Any_Lobster_1121
"Boyfriend even told OP they should sell them." ~ Upbeat-Employ-3689
"He wants her to sell them because he is definitely bringing a new girl to the concert. Sell the tickets, OP." ~ snuffy_smith_
"Exactly. That’s why he even told her to sell them BEFORE he broke up with her. The plan was already in motion." ~ Initial_Tear485
"He knew he was going to dump her ahead of time. He bought his tickets to use with someone else, or he would have brought it up before he bought them. I’m always excited about seeing my favorite artists and always ask my partners if they want to go with me. They know I’m buying tickets before I’ve bought them."
"I also don’t want them to buy tickets to a show I was already buying tickets to anyway."
"He never figured out what friends to invite because he never figured out a good way out of this conundrum."
"When she got fired, he immediately jumped to 'sell the tickets'. This solved most of his problems, including the guilt."
"Then he broke up with her. Maybe because the $2k covers his guilt. Maybe because it gives her extra incentive to sell the tickets instead of causing a scene at the show. Maybe both."
"Sell the tickets. Or if not, attend the show and be prepared for some real drama." ~ einTier
"OP doesn't want to sell them because they're convinced the boyfriend will take them back. Or they will go to the show, and the ex will realize he loved them all along."
"OP's mind is stuck in a romcom. Come on back to Earth and sell the tickets, OP. You may still care for your ex, but he doesn't care for you." ~ Responsible_Joke8618
"OP better sell them, it's either that or sit next to the ex at his favorite concert all happy. OP should sell the tickets and have a spa day with friends. Going to that concern will just be misery." ~ Angelea23
"YES YES YES, NTA, SELL! The gift logic ended with the relationship; they're just tickets in your name now, and HE suggested selling them Monday, before dumping you Tuesday, so he doesn't get to be hurt about it. You lost your paycheck and your relationship in 48 hours... Cover your bills, don't hand your ex a grand." ~ Bogumil_Jakubik
"Please sell the tickets." ~ No_Abroad_6306
"Yes, why are you even asking this‽‽ Sell the damn tickets." ~ Ten7850
"He told her to sell the tickets, and she’s still asking?" ~ Adventurous-Brain-36
"She got dumped, she sees the tickets as her last tie to him and is trying to find a way to not be an asshole while still showing up at his birthday concert thing. She doesn't seem to realize he already bought two seats because he is taking another woman with him." ~ the-mortyest-morty
"Yes, sell, sell, sell! He left you without warning (probably had a new girlfriend waiting in the wings). Take care of yourself, not your cold and unfeeling ex." ~ Intelcourier
"Why is someone by default a cold, unfeeling a**hole for ending a relationship they didn't want to continue, without knowing any other details about what was going on? He even told her to sell the tickets." ~ trimbandit
"Did you read OP's post? They were making plans together about the concert. Then he suddenly dumped her. You can leave a relationship, but you might try to be a little concerned for your soon-to-be ex's feelings if you have been pretending everything is just fine." ~ Intelcourier
"Not sure there really is a good time here. Would it really have been kinder to wait until after the concert? That seems much worse. Handling it while OP can more than recoup the money and then telling them to do just that seems like the way to do it." ~ zerj
"Sell the tickets. Bonus points if you can find types of people that would annoy the piss out of him. (Smelly, talkative, loud, etc...)." ~ KaytTheNotSoGreat
"He told you to sell them. Do that." ~ Leelagolucky
"It was his birthday present. It’s not his birthday yet. He dumped you before his birthday. They’re your tickets now." ~ Professional-End7367
"And if he were to pitch a fit for you selling them, simply explain to him that because the tickets were never transferred, they technically were never his to begin with." ~ chollar01
"Sell the tickets. There is no reason to keep them. You need the money, and he already purchased seats for himself." ~ Kindly-Push-3460
"I'll never understand why people refuse to actually listen to what people tell them."
"You already have your answer: 'On Monday I was stressing about losing the last paycheck and he said I could sell the tickets'."
"What's the question here?" ~ Chris8292
"He bought his own tickets because he knew he was going to dump you."
"Sell the tickets. Keep the money." ~ stefaniki
"Also he bought 2 because he already had another date lined up for the concert." ~ Extra_Cartoonist_390
"You think that's going to hurt him? He already has seats 1 and 2. He's not worried about 3 and 4 or you for that matter." ~ Sisac00
"Without a moment's hesitation, sell the tickets. Sweetie, HE dumped you! WAKE UP! TOO BAD HE HAS ALREADY BOUGHT TICKETS-you could have sold him those tickets for $1K+..." ~ javlafan2
"Are you insane? Have you fallen and hit your head? SELL THE DAMN TICKETS ASAP."
"Should you LET HIM HAVE THEM? What kind of martyr are you trying to be? The broke kind, I guess."
"Come ON, stop the insanity, sell the stupid tickets for as much as you can get and move on. He has. You're not hurting him, he's moved on."
"He suggested it himself, that's how much he cares. Stop being such a martyr and get your money, as much as you can get, back." ~ Swimming-Ad620
"He told you to sell them on Monday because he knew he was going to dump you on Tuesday and you had just lost your job. Just sell the tickets. You don't owe him anything. NTA." ~ concernedreader1982
"Are you stupid‽‽ Why the f*ck would you keep yourself in a bad financial place for a guy who dumped you? Have some more self respect." ~ LazyDayz365
"He literally told you to sell the tickets because he knew he was dumping you. Why would you give him them?"
"That's essentially you handing him a free thousand dollars as payment for dumping you. That would be a stupid thing that only STUPID people would even consider."
"I don't think you're stupid, but if you didn't sell them, I'd be worried you are legally allowed to vote with the rest of us. NTA, but seriously sell those tickets and f*ck that guy." ~ lilroldy
Many wondered why this was even a question when OP had already been told to sell the tickets.
Hopefully, they finally got the message.
