There are a number of benefits to working from home.
No need to worry about your commute or traffic, setting up your workspace exactly how you like it, and having instant access to food and drink.
That being said, some might argue that working from home comes with even more distractions than commuting.
Especially when your family is at home while you're working.
Redditor ninjo266 worked from home.
While this was initially working perfectly well for the original poster (OP) a sudden turn of events resulted in some unexpected complications.
Even leading the OP to consider giving her husband an ultimatum of sorts.
Wondering if this would be unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for asking my husband to stay out of our room?"
The OP explained why she was considering making her bedroom temporarily off-limits to her husband:
"Our family friend Bob (35 M[ale]) has been staying with my husband (34 M) and I (32 F) for over 3 months as he figures out his big move overseas."
"He has been staying and working in our guest room / study."
"I normally WFH full time in that study, but for the last few months I have used various places in the house for a workplace."
"My husband had a hybrid job, and normally spent 3 days at the office, but was laid off about a month ago."
"Bob quit his job two weeks ago. I am now the only person working full time, and we decided to setup a desk in our primary bedroom as my husband & Bob are spending more time in the common areas during the day."
"Here is where I might be the a**hole — I told my husband that it has been a really tough few months without having my study to work in, and it’s very distracting to have him walk in & out of our room multiple times a day."
"Sometimes he will walk in and out during meetings, or start talking to me while I am not muted."
"I do not want to limit him from his bedroom, but I also feel that as the only working adult I deserve a quiet place to work 8 hours a day."
"I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was a kid, and I desperately miss my study as it's set up in a way that limits distractions for me."
"We decided that during lunch & any short breaks I take, I will open the door so he can come in and get anything he needs, but I am now second-guessing myself for limiting him altogether."
"My husband has only been out of work for a month, and it is a tough job market."
"He spends his days cleaning, cooking, exercising, taking care of our kids, completing house projects, gaming, taking online classes, comforting my crazy a**, and of course looking for jobs."
"He is not a lazy man."
"The company gave him severance so we are not in immediate distress."
"He is applying to just about anything & everything in his field."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for telling her husband to stay out of their room.
Everyone agreed that, as the OP was the primary breadwinner, she deserved a place where she could work without interruptions, with many confused as to why she had to give up the den, and others encouraging her to give Bob the boot sooner rather than later:
"NTA."
"You need to be functional for work and Bob needs to move out."- Snowbirdy
"NTA."
"And he should know better than to bother you while you’re working."- Disastrous_Honey_240
"NTA."
"Someone needs to pay the bills, and you need to keep your sanity to do it."- Awkward_Material
"NTA."
"As the only working person in the house, I think you can take the bedroom to work in."- Impressive_Moment786
"Friend needs to move out and leech on others."
"Husband needs to find a job"
"And take ur study room back to work n lock the door."
"It is ur house n friend need to feel unwanted now."- Turtle_rocks_19
"The part I don’t understand is why you gave up working from your office."
"Does Bob need to sleep in the bed all day?"
"I have stayed as a guest in many people’s homes where the guest room is also the home office, and I think it’s very common for your guest to spend their days outside of the house or in the common areas, only using the office/guestroom for sleeping at night."
"I’m confused why you can’t use the office during your work hours."- KeyAdministration569
"I used to work from home and always had my own office in our home, and I HATED when my husband would walk in while I was in a meeting or on the phone with a customer."
"Sometimes he would try to talk to me during my meetings or just want to hang out in the office while I’m working and I found it so irritating."
"I couldn’t imagine being in your situation."
"You’re being nice but your friend needs to move out and find somewhere else to stay, and your husband needs to find another job."
"NTA."- Apprehensive-Fee-967
"NTA."
"Very reasonable expectation."
"No ADHD required."- gregaustex
"You are at work!"
"NTA."
"He wouldn't just walk into your office for a chat; why on earth would he think it's ok to do that when you WFH?"- RealHoney4486
"Of course you’re NTA."
"It doesn’t sound like anyone is accusing you of being unreasonable."- shyfidelity
"The main purpose for Bob moving in is now gone."
"Make Bob Gone."- LilacRed
"What are these two grown men doing about getting a job?"
"They better be taking over the cooking and cleaning."
"OP be careful."
"Please make sure you have an emergency fund and not all your money is going towards funding their time at home."-AubergineForestGreen
"Bob needs to move out."
"Everything else sorts itself out then."
"Your husband getting laid off is unfortunate."
"But wtf."
"Bob quit his job and just stays at your house all day?"
"F*ck that."- 2LostFlamingos
"NTA."
"I get that you might feel guilty about standing up for yourself, but you are doing the right thing."- Beautiful_Internet57'
"It’s your house, and you’re the only one who works, why are you not claiming the study?"- Equivalent_Lemon_319
"NTA."
"Why did Bob quit his job?"
"3 months seems more than generous for him to have time to figure things out."
"You WFH and that time/space should be respected."
"Good luck!"- BSB*tch47
"NTA."
"Why on earth does he need to enter the bedroom during the day?"
"And whazzup with Bob quitting his job?!"
"Does he pay rent?"- Specific_Anxiety_343
"NTA."
"Tell Bob to sleep on the couch and move out of the room."
"You are taking it back."
"He may actually move out quicker too if you make it less convenient for him to live there."
"Just saying."- Grand_Welder_6573
"NTAH."
"I feel like your house guest has stayed long enough as well."
"Unless they are contributing financially, let them know you need the space back!"- Majestic-Age785
"Bob needs to go."
"Do it now before he’s out of work for months and months and cannot move."- gingatwinga
"Of Bob isn't working anymore because you said he quit, why don't you take the study again?"
"Bob can sleep on the sofa if he wants a nap during the day."
"You won't be working after 8 hours so he gets his temporary room back."
"If he's getting help from others, he can adapt because you made personal sacrifices for him to stay there and isn't paying any bills."
"NTAH."
"Is your husband complaining about it?"
"Remind him that it's his friend you invited to stay, so you have to work! "
"This means either the bedroom gets the desk, and Everyone stays out, or the guest room is yours during work hours."
"You don't sacrifice ALL of your comforts, and they sacrifice NONE."- LilacRed
The OP eventually returned with an update, sharing where things currently stood with Bob:
"Bob is moving out in the next two weeks."
There is no denying the current job market is not a fun place to be right now.
Keeping morale up is important to stay optimistic about the job hunt.
Even so, as the OP is the one supporting the family at the moment, she needs somewhere to remain focused on her work.
As that agreed-upon place is the bedroom, the OP's husband will just need to find other places to be during working hours.
