Working from home has placed all kinds of new pressure on many of us during the pandemic. From a shift in workspaces to new work schedules and setups to having to work alongside a loved one, there’s been no shortage of hurdles to overcome.
One wife and new mom was particularly feeling this pressure when she had to go “back” to work at the end of her maternity leave. But of course, with the pandemic still going on, this meant sharing her workspace, as well as home and child-related responsibilities, with her husband.
But unfortunately, when a sticky situation came up, the new dad couldn’t handle it by himself.
The father wrote into the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, asking if he was wrong for interrupting his wife’s important virtual work meeting to ask for help… with changing a diaper.
The OP (Original Poster) “IOughtToBeThrownAway” asked the sub:
“AITA for interrupting my wife’s work-from-home meeting in a panic after the baby had an explosive shit that sprayed like 5 feet across the room and decimated our laundry and floor?”
The OP did not shy away from explaining the messy situation.
“I was changing a wet diaper, and he just f**king blasted. It was terrifying, like one of those things you see in slow motion but can’t do anything to stop.”
“If you’ve ever seen baby poop, you know it looks like whole grain mustard. Imagine scatter shot of that literally tearing through the air like a canon firing wet shrapnel.”
“It got all over our laundry which we keep by the changing table. It got all over the floor. It even got on some stupid globe that my wife had there as a decoration.”
“Not to mention my arm, which I did not pull back fast enough. And I’ve got pretty hair arms so it was stuck all up in there.”
Shocked by the mess, the OP immediately started screaming for his wife to help clean up.
However, he was also interrupting an important virtual work meeting.
“Anyway, I panicked and starting shouting for her to come upstairs and help me.”
“I hope she muted her meeting before she came up, because when she came up she was yelling, spitting mad. Shouting at me about how I was selfish a**hole for interrupting her meeting.”
“I showed her the mess. She took the baby and said, ‘F**king clean it up!'”
Still in the wrecked laundry room, the OP asked the sub what he should do next.
“Am I an a**hole like she says for interrupting? I mean I know work is important, but this was a moment of panic for me.”
“Now I should be cleaning it up. I can admit that. But the way she commanded me to do it and then stormed away… All I cleaned was my arm, and now I’m just sitting here, looking at the mess and thinking how p**sed I am instead of doing anything.”
“I want some help since this is literally the grossest thing I’ve ever seen and I don’t handle gross stuff well.”
“AITA for interrupting her meeting and asking for help with this? And WIBTA (Would I Be the A**hole) if I refuse to clean it without help?”
Fellow Redditors replied anonymously, suggesting what the OP should do and rating his behavior on the following scale:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some Redditors pointed out that the OP was TA (the a**hole) not only for interrupting his wife but also not wanting to clean up the mess alone.
“Your initial reaction made you an a**hole. Your followup reaction makes you a mega a**hole.”
“‘Anyway, I panicked and starting shouting for her to come upstairs and help me.'”
“This is where you’re just a normal a**hole. This isn’t an emergency; it’s just a mess. You don’t need any help to clean it up.”
“‘now I’m just sitting here, looking at the mess and thinking how p**sed I am instead of doing anything.'”
“And this is why you’re a mega a**hole. Your wife is working. You’re taking care of the baby. Clean that s**t up!”
“‘I want some help since this is literally the grossest thing I’ve ever seen and I don’t handle gross stuff well.'”
“You’re a parent now. Better get used to dealing with gross, because you have many years of s**t and p**s and vomit to come.” – MultiFazed
“I understand the initial reaction to call for help when something like this happens, but your wife is working. You should consider her just as unavailable to help you as if she were physically in the office and not at home.”
“Would you have called her to come home and help you clean up? Would you have left the mess just sitting there until she got home from work?”
“I get it, poop sucks. I’ve been there. I’ve changed my share of dirty, poop on everything diapers.”
“But she’s not being paid by her employer to help you with baby poop. And she wouldn’t be available to help you anyway under normal circumstances.”
“Sigh. Get over it and clean up the poop.” – Jesoko
“If you’re describing your baby’s poop as like mustard, you are not even CLOSE to dealing with gross poop. You’re still in that formula/breast feeding NICE poop stage.”
“Just wait until you get into that solid-food-dead anima-smelling-actually-messy-sticks-to-everything-when-the-hell-did-you-have-peas poop, which by the way, happens when the baby is old enough to reach for and stick their hands in, or even better, crawl/roll/walk/run/hop away covered in!!”
“If you’re a parent, we’ve all been there. That first crazy poop mess where you just don’t even know what to do. Wipes? Bath? Garden Hose? Get a new one???”
“You’re not the AH for freaking out and yelling, but you’ve got to deal with this. I’m going to give you a light YTA because this is what you do now.”
“Word to the wise. Grab the baby. Kitchen sink to hose them off or shower if you’ve got a good grip. Don’t bother with wipes, too much hassle, bath makes for poop soup. Pop on a fresh nappy and put them down where you can see them.Garden hose the laundry, rewash it and sanitize everything else.”
“Then go in after your wife finishes work and tell her what an amazing job you did with a crazy poop blowout. That, my new Dad friend, is how you go from kind of the AH to a straight up Hero.” – milyssabeth
Others agreed and supported the wife and her need to work.
“No s**t. Do men think women are born with the knowledge on how to clean up every mess? We just f**king buckle down and do it.”
“Wife is probably p**sed because she thought the baby was bleeding or dying or something and it was just her husband being a baby about a mess.”
“OP, YTA.” – TheLyz
“‘You should consider her just as unavailable to help you as if she were physically in the office'”
“Exactly. If she is working at home she is still AT WORK. Unless you would come down to the office to demand her help you should not do it while she’s working, and ESPECIALLY not in a meeting.” – whatdowetrynow
A few also pointed out cleaning up the mess is just part of being a good, responsible parent.
“Dude’s lucky it’s regular milk baby poop. My friend’s baby was just home from hospital and sprayed meconium poop (basically greenish black tar) all over the wall of the nursery. And guess what, the husband was doing the changing and cleaned it all up while caring for the baby because his wife just had a c-section. And he probably would have done it anyway cos he’s a good father and husband.”
“And wait till they start solids OP. You’ll miss the simple poops that smell like yoghurt and fresh hay, I promise you.” – a_peanut
“Did this child not understand that children get sick before making a child? Wife’s reaction is milder than mine would have been.” – xasdfxx
“‘Your wife is working. You’re taking care of the baby.'”
“Just in case you didn’t pick up on this, I’m repeating it for the back seats:”
“This is called being a parent.”
“You do NOT get to call your wife out of a WORK situation to deal with the s**tty parts of being a parent. Try reversing the roles and see how it plays out in your mind – you are at work, your wife yells at you to come help, then gets p**sed off when you don’t want to stop whatever you are doing and clean up after the baby because you are in WORK MODE.”
“Gotta agree with the poster above me here, you are the mega-a**hole.”
“YTA” – Aussiealterego
It can be very difficult to keep up with a baby and to find the constant motivation and energy needed to fulfill all the responsibilities related to a baby.
Unfortunately, after some investigative work, a few Redditors pointed out that this is not the first instance of this father complaining about his children or his fatherhood on Reddit.
Whether he needs medical attention or to reevaluate his life choices is unclear. But for some, this dad’s behavior toward changing a diaper is less humorous and more so a red flag.