When the world went into lockdown in March of 2020, offices of all kinds, all over the world were forced to regroup and find a way to operate with their entire staff working from home.
As Covid-19 restrictions began to ease, offices began to re-open, and more and more people began commuting back to work as they once did.
However, as the first year or so of the pandemic demonstrated, working from home proved to be a more than viable option, with plenty of people continuing to work from home, and more and more jobs becoming hybrid.
Among those was Redditor DaliaRod547, who began to find themself faced with more and more challenges working from home.
Including the fact that their husband didn’t feel that they were doing “real work”.
As a result, the original poster (OP) came up with a solution to get through their work day undisturbed.
When their husband intervened with this solution, the OP made no effort to hide their displeasure.
Wondering if they had overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for how I reacted when I found out that my husband uninstalled my office lock?”
The OP explained how their husband made their ability to work from home even more difficult than it already was.
“Ever since I started working from home, my husband has started treating it as if I’m not ‘really’ working.”
“He believes wfh isn’t as much of a real job as leaving the house and driving to your workplace.”
“He’d interrupt me at all times, send the kids in so I could help them get things done, he even goes in randomly and ask me to do things under the guise of ‘just a minute, you won’t get fired over a minute break’.”
“I have grown tired of the constant barging so what I did was purchase a lock and lock the office to no longer give him access to interrupt me.”
“He found out and uninstalled it while I was.”
“He said that it’s his house and that I CANNOT lock him out of any room in it.”
“I was floored once I saw that he threw the lock away.”
“I went off at him just screaming my head off, telling him that he was jeopardizing my livelihood.”
“And his body language and tone changed.”
“He started ranting about how I’m being cruel for accusing him of such things and selfish for even entertaining the idea of keeping him and the kids out and ignoring them like that.”
“He stormed off and left and had his mother lecture me about how I’m being unfair prioritizing work over family and stuff like that.”
“Lastly, she talked about yelling at my husband and trying to intimidate and control him.”
“He’s been quiet since then.”
“For my reaction.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for yelling at their husband for removing the lock to their office door.
Everyone agreed that the OP deserved a little peace and quiet while working, and their husband had no right to remove the locks, nor should he undermine the OP’s work simply because they worked from home.
“He’s being a colossal ass and intentionally trying to sabotage your career for some reason.”
“Jealousy, misogyny, insecurity, or just plain laziness maybe?”- rhomboidus
“Get a big door stop.”
“Shove it under the door from inside the office.”
“Hide it when you’re not in there.”
“Alternatively, get rid of husband.”
“I’d have a really hard time looking at a man like that with any kind of love or respect after this story.”- schrodingers_bra
“Your employment is at risk; so is your marriage.”
“His actions disrespect you on many levels.”
“Is this common behavior for him; disregard your requests, throw away a tool you installed, rant, claim he can do ‘anything’ in the house, enlist his mother to rant as well?”
“He stated, ‘You won’t get fired over a minute break’.”
“How does he know this?”
“This erodes your expertise and opinion on the matter.”
“I am sorry you are going through this but it may be the wake-up call you need.”
“If you both cannot put forth basic courtesy and effective communication then you and the children will lose; lose big time.”- DesertSong-LaLa
“Barely works, disrespects you when you set boundaries, controlling behavior, you ‘cannot’ lock him out of ‘his house’, has his mommy call you up to berate you.”
“Tell me, what exactly is your husband bringing to the table, besides more work and stress?”
“Sometimes you need to throw the whole man away, and this seems like one of those times.”
“If I were you I’d send him straight back to mommy where he belongs.”
“He told his mommy on you?”
“Well that explains your husband’s behavior.”- citizensfund82
“Not your collective home!?”
“He is disrespectful and immature.”
“I’m not surprised you lost it.”- Advanced_Click1776
“And he is being ridiculously controlling, (in ‘his house’ he feels he is king?) and seems to want to get you fired.”
“I wouldn’t put up with this sh*t.”- ParsimoniousSalad
“Your hubby is tho.”
“And running to his momma?”
“I have no words.”
“Move out, take kids and forget about him really.”
“And remember what he said: It’s ‘his’ house.”
“And get yourself a doorstopper, the kind you would use in a hotel room.”
“When you’re working post sign on the door and block the a**hole.”
“And tell MIL to stay out of your marriage, tyvm.”
“On that sign post your hours and remind your dear spouse that this helps pay the bills regardless of what he thinks of it.”
“And it’s ‘OUR’ house when your married with children, don’t give darn who’s name on mortgage/lease.”- Particular_Elk3022
“He had his mother lecture you?”
“NTA but is your husband always this petulant?”
“I would ask him if he would bother you this much if you went into an office for work, if he says no then tell him you’ll take that as him understanding why you need a lock or strict boundaries during work hours.”- murray182
“Put some to block the door when you work.”
“Also, unless it was his house to began with, if you’re on the title or mortgage, the house belongs to both of you.”- Proud_Fisherman_5233
“He is a huge a**hole for everything listed, but once he got Mommy involved, I would not be able to stay there.”- siempre_maria
“His mother told you off, what.”
“As far as I’m concerned I wouldn’t want my partner even telling their parents about our disagreements, let alone getting them to stand up to me on their behalf.”- plumbobx
“Is he 6?”
“Running off to tell mommy on you.”
“I’d be so pissed.”
“Baby not getting his way.”
“WAH WAH WAH.”
“Short of telling his baby ass to go back to mommy, I got nothing.”- elderoriens
“Hmm… he doesn’t respect your work, encourages the children to disrespect your work, ignores your consent on all levels, and gets his mommy to fight for him when you hold your, quite reasonable, boundaries.”
“Your husband, and to a lesser degree his mother, need reality checks.”
“Let him be quiet.”
“And have a new lock installed.”- tosser9212
“And removing and throwing away the lock was seriously controlling and a breach of trust.”
“You ABSOLUTELY have the right to privacy including locking a door.”
“That is near grounds for abusive.”
“He should apologize immediately.”- WholeAd2742
“Send him a message to stay at him mommy’s house permanently.”
“Sounds like you need to rent a space for your work outside your home.”
“Also, maybe ask yourself why your husband doesn’t value your livelihood and your contribution to the family.”- Amberandrambo
“What an infant, running to mommy.”
“You should get a wedge for the bottom of the door and hide it so he can’t swipe when you’re not looking.”-Juliesquee
“If he won’t leave you alone, what are you supposed to do?”
“There are devices you can put on the door that you don’t install permanently.”
“Your husband sounds not only inconsiderate, but also an idiot.”- Different-Sign6050
No one. likes secrets, making it at least somewhat understandable why the OP’s husband didn’t like the idea that she felt the need to lock her office door.
However, the OP wasn’t keeping any secrets from their family, and was more than open with the fact that the reason behind their locking the door was purely and simply so they could get through their work undisturbed.
Something the OP’s husband unintentionally proved was more difficult for them than it should have been.
Perhaps if the OP dropped their children off at their husband’s work unannounced, he might get the idea of what they go through every day at home.