College Professor Upset After Impatient Wife Almost Cost Her A New Job By Interrupting Her Interview

Anyone has ever been a teacher can attest to how hard it is to get a decent teacher job and to keep it. Finding a tenure-track job for decent pay in a desirable area is practically a unicorn.

So if an opportunity comes up to interview for one of these rare positions, the candidate in question should do anything they can to make sure that interview goes well, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.

Redditor ThrowRAisitworthit4 had struggled to find a new teaching position after their current contract expired, so they jumped at the opportunity for an interview for a tenure-track position in their discipline.

Their wife wanted to go with them to see the area, since it would require a move, which they were comfortable with, but when she walked in and interrupted the interview, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled and believed she'd lost the opportunity for them.

They asked the sub:

"Am I overreacting by being livid that my wife potentially cost me a job?"

The OP received, basically, a miracle job interview opportunity.

"My (38 Female) wife (35 Female) and I drove to a town two hours away for a last-minute interview for a tenure track position for me."

"It’s April, and if you know about teaching, you know that now is a pretty late time to get a job offer teaching at any university for the fall."

"But I have not had any bites besides this one, and I am in the humanities. My contract at my current college is over. I’m the breadwinner, and we NEED this job."

"It would also mean we need to pack up and move. Our lease is ending in June, and we NEED ANSWERS about what we will do next."

The OP's wife, Claire, went along for the interview to see the area.

"My wife, Claire, drove with me, and since we were in the same state, they didn’t provide a hotel. So Claire waited in the Panera on campus."

"After the interview, the dean asked if we could go to Panera for a coffee to finish our conversation. Two and a half hours went by, and I was sure Claire was bored, but she had a test to study for, so I hoped she would just make it work."

"I didn’t plan to introduce them. Neither of us wears a ring, and I’m never sure where people stand with homophobia and s**t... I want this job, and I can mention it later, after I'm locked in, you know. So I gave her a heads-up that we would be in there."

As the interview continued, Claire's behavior became questionable.

"The dean is…well, chatty. She talks about the school, but then tells lots of long anecdotes about her grandchildren with videos on her phone. It’s of course very boring, but I’m not in a position to give her anything but my rapt attention."

"Claire, however, is getting antsy. The weather is getting bad, so she starts pointing to her watch and waving her arms behind the dean. It’s super distracting, but I ignore her."

"I know if it’s an emergency, she’d say. She’s texting me. And I can see on my watch that she’s saying, 'It’s time to go!'"

"After about an hour of the dean talking, I can tell she’s getting ready to wrap up her stories, she gets back to the job. She said, 'I want to offer you this job, but I have one question. Do you think you’ll be able to move in four months? That’s short notice. Do you have anyone else to consider?'"

"I know she’s trying to find out if I have a family."

"Claire, at this moment, as if she is on cue, comes over and says, 'I see you guys are getting to know each other, and I think that’s wonderful, but Sheryl and I have left our pet at home alone should really be getting on the road.'"

"My best friend is our next-door neighbor and ALWAYS takes Drama potty if we need, and she knows that’s not an issue!"

"The dean was taken aback but said, 'Oh! Um, okay! Well, Sheryl, we will be in touch.'"

"I am LIVID."

"AIO?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

• NOR: Not Overreacting
• YOR: You're Overreacting

Some argued that Claire shouldn't have gone on the trip, but if she was going to, she should have known to wait outside.

"Why did your wife, who had a test to study for, come with you on a long trip (two hours there and very long interview and two hours back) where she was bored the whole time, instead of staying at home? That sounds very codependent to me." - Keytarfriend

"I have a feeling that it’s because op MIGHT talk to another woman and have a conversation that Claire isn’t there to monitor." - TraumaHawk316

"NOR. Your wife should not have even been with you on the trip for an interview." - Useful-Noise-4321

"For any faculty interview, unless a spouse is specifically invited, you go alone. I work in administration at a university. I know what hiring faculty entails. It’s not something that can be rushed."

"It’s a huge commitment for the school to make to you, as well as a huge commitment from you to the school. Tenure track is no joke. They’re looking at giving you an in-contested position and salary."

"Barring being the top person in your field and bringing with you the ability to bring in millions of dollars in donor or grant funding, if there’s any reason they can’t depend on you or they think you will be a problem, they won’t hire you."

"I’m glad your friend was able to give you an inside scoop, but your wife could have seriously screwed up your chances simply by being there, let alone interrupting and effectively ending the interview." - Exciting-Froyo3825

"I, too, tagged along when my husband had to drive ALL along the length of California (a very long state indeed) to find a tenure track job more than 20 years ago. He had a ridiculous number of interviews in a span of a month and a half!"

"Where possible, we clumped them together. If it wasn’t possible, we would have to drive hours just to get there. It was a lot, and my husband knew I was there. Heck, we even practiced interviewing during the ride. I helped drive so he could nap, I made sure his tie was on straight, made sure he ate well, and I sent him off to the interviews."

"What I did NOT do was be anywhere where I would interfere. He was emotionally wrung out and appreciated my helping with the drive. I d**n sure would have vacated Panera so as to not be a distraction! Your wife doesn’t sound at all reasonable!" - TurbulentRoof7538

Others simply reassured the OP that they were not overreacting by being upset about potentially missing out on such a big opportunity.

"NOR. Claire did all she could to sabotage you, without putting the car into a ditch on the way there."

"Sit down and ask her: You were rather desperate to end my interview. Was there a reason for that? (And no, the dog isn't a reason.)" - el_grande_ricardo

"Your wife blew your job. I’d not hire you over her interference, not because you’re gay but because of the lack of social skills from her that I would perceive to be a you problem, too, since you married her." - tcmits1

"I’d be worried that this is the type of spouse who would be constantly disruptive, showing up on campus, or demanding OP come home for never-ending ' 'emergencies,' ruining faculty get-togethers by insisting they leave early if they go at all. Yikes." - Tennessee1977

"A former acquaintance, a super smart and seriously nice professor, gradually became marginalized in his department and university because of his helicopter mom wife. She was constantly fighting with their children’s teachers, even suing them and the school."

"This was in a small university town, so everyone knew everyone, and his wife became infamous for her antics. She seemed like such a nice lady, too, but where her kids were concerned, she turned into The Hulk."

"If I were considering hiring someone with a potentially temperamental/ erratic spouse, I would definitely hesitate and give greater weight to the candidate with less baggage because you just never know when they might say or do something that would blow back on the university." - Hari_om_tat_sat

"I once brought my husband to an important work event and waited around… in a nice hotel lounge, drinking coffee, having lunch, and reading. He texted when he was done and waited for the ten minutes it took me to get him."

"Never have someone wait for an unknown period of time again."

"NOR for being livid that she potentially ruined your new job, though."

"And even more so because she doubled down. Does she still not understand what she did was bonkers?" - Technical-Paper427

After receiving feedback, the OP shared an uncertain update.

"My friend is friends with one of the teachers there. She said the Dean offered another candidate the job, but she turned it down because of the salary, and she got a tenure-track line from her first choice."

"So I’m next on the list! I’m angry because that means it probably kicked me down from being her first choice, but grateful other candidate got her first choice and could say no to this job."

"For those of you who asked why’d I brought her, she asked to come. She wanted to see the town, and I thought it would be cool if I had two hours to practice my talk."

"I had no idea the dean was going to offer to go to Panera. She took me in her personal car for a tour and then said she wanted to take me to get Panera to continue talking."

"Claire was close enough to hear the conversation and realized it (the job arrangement) wasn’t what she thought made sense, so she decided to interrupt. I didn’t plan to introduce her because it was my interview and not a good time to do that, in my opinion."

"In the car, Claire doubled down on it, saying that she shouldn’t be made the villain because she cares about safety."

Even if Claire had the best of intentions, sabotaging her partner's interview because she thought it wasn't a good fit, rather than letting them earn the job on their own and then deciding if it was the right track or not, was totally the wrong move.

Couples have to make all kinds of hard decisions together, and if this wasn't the right job, even if few seemed to be available, they could have decided that together, rather than Claire ruining the chance for her wife to get a very competitive job.