Working from home has taken a lot of compromise for everyone. We all had to learn how to work in a loud environment and focus on our tasks instead of Netflix.
Redditor vegan_wizard encountered this very issue with his wife. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA I got mad at my wife because she caused me to fail an important interview?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Me (27M) and my wife (24F) have been married for 3 years. She is 6 months pregnant.”
“I have been looking for a job with a better pay since my wife said that she wanted to be a SAHM after the birth.”
“Today, I had this interview for a position at a very good IT company which would be paying triple my current salary.”
“There were a lot of measures taken to prevent malpractice. I was not allowed to look anywhere but the screen, etc. The test was conducted on an online platform.”
“I had told her numerous times before the exam about the strict invigilation.”
“Just 15 minutes after the test started, my wife started knocking on my study door and calling out my name saying she wanted me to open a jar. I ignored her because I would be disqualified from the interview if I looked anywhere else or spoke… I figured she’d get the hint that I couldn’t talk.”
OP’s wife was upset.
“But she didn’t she yelled at me calling me an AH and went on to talk to her friends on call.”
“It didn’t stop at the calls, she played loud music for her online dance yoga class. It was extremely distracting and I made a lot of mistakes in the exam”
“It was a multiple choice questions based test so I got the results immediately and as expected I had miserably failed it.”
“I was livid at my wife.”
“This was the 5th interview that she ruined like this. I told her that I give up on trying to make her life easier and that I’m not ready to go looking for any more jobs since she doesn’t even want to maintain silence during important interviews.”
“I told her to start working again after the birth and that I am ok paying for a nanny/babysitter.”
“She said that in being unreasonable in expecting perfect silence at home.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA, the 5th time? Why is she sabotaging you? Doesn’t she want you to make money?” ~ Laena_V
“That doesn’t change the fact that she sabotaging him. She’s done it 5 times.” ~ DeathGP
“OP clearly explained this meeting requirements several times, and had gone through this entire situation on four previous occasions.”
“If OP’s wife is an adult with a regular IQ then she is either being willfully ignorant or is purposefully sabotaging the interviews.”
“Her excuse also demonstrates that this is not stupidity or a lack of understanding, it showed that she understood perfectly well that quiet was expected of her and that she did not believe she should have to comply.” ~ Lycoris
“I’m WFH and my parents say the exact same thing. ‘How are we meant to live?’ like not busting down my door and screaming at me every 5 minutes it literal torture.”
“My vote is NTA. Even if pregnancy has made her hormonal, she should 100% at least be trying. Take a walk around the block, have a nap or read a book. NOT HARD.” ~ LittleRedGhost4
“You need to get to the bottom of this. Is she afraid if you make a lot of money you’ll leave her? Is she scared of the reality of being a SAHM and self-sabotaging? I’m no psychologist, but it seems like there is some kind of anxiety or reaction to something that’s driving this behavior that’s not apparent from the post.”
“Instead of another argument see if you can find out where this is coming from and if that fear can be addressed. NTA, of course, but maybe there is a more constructive path than getting mad.” ~ rpsls
OP needs to talk to his wife.
“Or just get out of the house for a few hours. Go see a movie or something.” ~ Stealthy-J
“THIS! She needs to leave the house when he has interviews. Not that hard, go grocery shopping, to the park, etc. My husband just had a 5 hour interview last week so me and the kids went to my mom’s for the day. I didn’t want him to have any distractions or interruptions at all, of any kind. No kids playing or fighting, no toy noises, no vacuum or running the dishwasher. Nothing. As a SAHM, it’s the very least I could do when he’s trying so hard to improve our lives.”
“He got the job, too.”
“Edited: Thanks for the award! Awards, plural! Thank you all so much!” ~ Englishable
“If she’s too stupid to understand simple instructions like ‘do not disturb me during this period of time’ how the hell is she going to be as a caretaker for a child?!?” ~ DakiLapin
“I think the key to figuring out if she’s stupid is how she behaves outside of these situations. If she’s constantly playing loud music outside OP’s door, or talking to her friends on the phone, then she’s probably stupid (and forgot about the interview).”
“If she doesn’t, then it’s in some way malicious (although still very stupid).” ~ ha_look_at_that_nerd
“I can’t even imagine doing this. My husband is currently changing fields from construction to something easier on the body (including risk of skin cancer) and I actually helped him make his resume and apply places as everything is online and he’s a self proclaimed dinosaur.”
“I’m happy to say he’s starting his new position the first week of November, because he had support instead of sabotage. Poor OP is NTA but it kinda sounds like his wife doesn’t really want him to find another job.” ~ Dewhickey76
“I agree 100%.”
“I just took a test for a certification. No people in the room, no talking, etc.”
“I told my wife this and, due to the set up on our house, it meant closing off an entire floor of the house. The laundry is there, cleaning supplies, etc.”
“She held off on doing literally anything that might make noise for like 3 hours. She didnt even watch tv because it might slow down my internet. That is what you do when you love someone and they are going through something important.” ~ GatoLocoSupremeRuler
OP and his wife need to find a compromise.