Working from home has taken a lot of compromise for everyone. We all had to learn how to work in a loud environment and focus on our tasks instead of Netflix.
Redditor vegan_wizard encountered this very issue with his wife. So he turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
"AITA I got mad at my wife because she caused me to fail an important interview?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Me (27M) and my wife (24F) have been married for 3 years. She is 6 months pregnant."
"I have been looking for a job with a better pay since my wife said that she wanted to be a SAHM after the birth."
"Today, I had this interview for a position at a very good IT company which would be paying triple my current salary."
"There were a lot of measures taken to prevent malpractice. I was not allowed to look anywhere but the screen, etc. The test was conducted on an online platform."
"I had told her numerous times before the exam about the strict invigilation."
"Just 15 minutes after the test started, my wife started knocking on my study door and calling out my name saying she wanted me to open a jar. I ignored her because I would be disqualified from the interview if I looked anywhere else or spoke... I figured she'd get the hint that I couldn't talk."
OP's wife was upset.
"But she didn't she yelled at me calling me an AH and went on to talk to her friends on call."
"It didn't stop at the calls, she played loud music for her online dance yoga class. It was extremely distracting and I made a lot of mistakes in the exam"
"It was a multiple choice questions based test so I got the results immediately and as expected I had miserably failed it."
"I was livid at my wife."
"This was the 5th interview that she ruined like this. I told her that I give up on trying to make her life easier and that I'm not ready to go looking for any more jobs since she doesn't even want to maintain silence during important interviews."
"I told her to start working again after the birth and that I am ok paying for a nanny/babysitter."
"She said that in being unreasonable in expecting perfect silence at home."
"AITA?"
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
"NTA, the 5th time? Why is she sabotaging you? Doesn't she want you to make money?" ~ Laena_V
"That doesn't change the fact that she sabotaging him. She's done it 5 times." ~ DeathGP
"OP clearly explained this meeting requirements several times, and had gone through this entire situation on four previous occasions."
"If OP's wife is an adult with a regular IQ then she is either being willfully ignorant or is purposefully sabotaging the interviews."
"Her excuse also demonstrates that this is not stupidity or a lack of understanding, it showed that she understood perfectly well that quiet was expected of her and that she did not believe she should have to comply." ~ Lycoris
"I'm WFH and my parents say the exact same thing. 'How are we meant to live?' like not busting down my door and screaming at me every 5 minutes it literal torture."
"My vote is NTA. Even if pregnancy has made her hormonal, she should 100% at least be trying. Take a walk around the block, have a nap or read a book. NOT HARD." ~ LittleRedGhost4
"You need to get to the bottom of this. Is she afraid if you make a lot of money you'll leave her? Is she scared of the reality of being a SAHM and self-sabotaging? I'm no psychologist, but it seems like there is some kind of anxiety or reaction to something that's driving this behavior that's not apparent from the post."
"Instead of another argument see if you can find out where this is coming from and if that fear can be addressed. NTA, of course, but maybe there is a more constructive path than getting mad." ~ rpsls
OP needs to talk to his wife.
"Or just get out of the house for a few hours. Go see a movie or something." ~ Stealthy-J
"THIS! She needs to leave the house when he has interviews. Not that hard, go grocery shopping, to the park, etc. My husband just had a 5 hour interview last week so me and the kids went to my mom's for the day. I didn't want him to have any distractions or interruptions at all, of any kind. No kids playing or fighting, no toy noises, no vacuum or running the dishwasher. Nothing. As a SAHM, it's the very least I could do when he's trying so hard to improve our lives."
"He got the job, too."
"Edited: Thanks for the award! Awards, plural! Thank you all so much!" ~ Englishable
"If she's too stupid to understand simple instructions like 'do not disturb me during this period of time' how the hell is she going to be as a caretaker for a child?!?" ~ DakiLapin
"I think the key to figuring out if she's stupid is how she behaves outside of these situations. If she's constantly playing loud music outside OP's door, or talking to her friends on the phone, then she's probably stupid (and forgot about the interview)."
"If she doesn't, then it's in some way malicious (although still very stupid)." ~ ha_look_at_that_nerd
"I can't even imagine doing this. My husband is currently changing fields from construction to something easier on the body (including risk of skin cancer) and I actually helped him make his resume and apply places as everything is online and he's a self proclaimed dinosaur."
"I'm happy to say he's starting his new position the first week of November, because he had support instead of sabotage. Poor OP is NTA but it kinda sounds like his wife doesn't really want him to find another job." ~ Dewhickey76
"I agree 100%."
"I just took a test for a certification. No people in the room, no talking, etc."
"I told my wife this and, due to the set up on our house, it meant closing off an entire floor of the house. The laundry is there, cleaning supplies, etc."
"She held off on doing literally anything that might make noise for like 3 hours. She didnt even watch tv because it might slow down my internet. That is what you do when you love someone and they are going through something important." ~ GatoLocoSupremeRuler
OP and his wife need to find a compromise.















Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.