Working from home has taken a lot of compromise for everyone. We all had to learn how to work in a loud environment and focus on our tasks instead of Netflix.
Redditor vegan_wizard encountered this very issue with his wife. So he turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
"AITA I got mad at my wife because she caused me to fail an important interview?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Me (27M) and my wife (24F) have been married for 3 years. She is 6 months pregnant."
"I have been looking for a job with a better pay since my wife said that she wanted to be a SAHM after the birth."
"Today, I had this interview for a position at a very good IT company which would be paying triple my current salary."
"There were a lot of measures taken to prevent malpractice. I was not allowed to look anywhere but the screen, etc. The test was conducted on an online platform."
"I had told her numerous times before the exam about the strict invigilation."
"Just 15 minutes after the test started, my wife started knocking on my study door and calling out my name saying she wanted me to open a jar. I ignored her because I would be disqualified from the interview if I looked anywhere else or spoke... I figured she'd get the hint that I couldn't talk."
OP's wife was upset.
"But she didn't she yelled at me calling me an AH and went on to talk to her friends on call."
"It didn't stop at the calls, she played loud music for her online dance yoga class. It was extremely distracting and I made a lot of mistakes in the exam"
"It was a multiple choice questions based test so I got the results immediately and as expected I had miserably failed it."
"I was livid at my wife."
"This was the 5th interview that she ruined like this. I told her that I give up on trying to make her life easier and that I'm not ready to go looking for any more jobs since she doesn't even want to maintain silence during important interviews."
"I told her to start working again after the birth and that I am ok paying for a nanny/babysitter."
"She said that in being unreasonable in expecting perfect silence at home."
"AITA?"
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
"NTA, the 5th time? Why is she sabotaging you? Doesn't she want you to make money?" ~ Laena_V
"That doesn't change the fact that she sabotaging him. She's done it 5 times." ~ DeathGP
"OP clearly explained this meeting requirements several times, and had gone through this entire situation on four previous occasions."
"If OP's wife is an adult with a regular IQ then she is either being willfully ignorant or is purposefully sabotaging the interviews."
"Her excuse also demonstrates that this is not stupidity or a lack of understanding, it showed that she understood perfectly well that quiet was expected of her and that she did not believe she should have to comply." ~ Lycoris
"I'm WFH and my parents say the exact same thing. 'How are we meant to live?' like not busting down my door and screaming at me every 5 minutes it literal torture."
"My vote is NTA. Even if pregnancy has made her hormonal, she should 100% at least be trying. Take a walk around the block, have a nap or read a book. NOT HARD." ~ LittleRedGhost4
"You need to get to the bottom of this. Is she afraid if you make a lot of money you'll leave her? Is she scared of the reality of being a SAHM and self-sabotaging? I'm no psychologist, but it seems like there is some kind of anxiety or reaction to something that's driving this behavior that's not apparent from the post."
"Instead of another argument see if you can find out where this is coming from and if that fear can be addressed. NTA, of course, but maybe there is a more constructive path than getting mad." ~ rpsls
OP needs to talk to his wife.
"Or just get out of the house for a few hours. Go see a movie or something." ~ Stealthy-J
"THIS! She needs to leave the house when he has interviews. Not that hard, go grocery shopping, to the park, etc. My husband just had a 5 hour interview last week so me and the kids went to my mom's for the day. I didn't want him to have any distractions or interruptions at all, of any kind. No kids playing or fighting, no toy noises, no vacuum or running the dishwasher. Nothing. As a SAHM, it's the very least I could do when he's trying so hard to improve our lives."
"He got the job, too."
"Edited: Thanks for the award! Awards, plural! Thank you all so much!" ~ Englishable
"If she's too stupid to understand simple instructions like 'do not disturb me during this period of time' how the hell is she going to be as a caretaker for a child?!?" ~ DakiLapin
"I think the key to figuring out if she's stupid is how she behaves outside of these situations. If she's constantly playing loud music outside OP's door, or talking to her friends on the phone, then she's probably stupid (and forgot about the interview)."
"If she doesn't, then it's in some way malicious (although still very stupid)." ~ ha_look_at_that_nerd
"I can't even imagine doing this. My husband is currently changing fields from construction to something easier on the body (including risk of skin cancer) and I actually helped him make his resume and apply places as everything is online and he's a self proclaimed dinosaur."
"I'm happy to say he's starting his new position the first week of November, because he had support instead of sabotage. Poor OP is NTA but it kinda sounds like his wife doesn't really want him to find another job." ~ Dewhickey76
"I agree 100%."
"I just took a test for a certification. No people in the room, no talking, etc."
"I told my wife this and, due to the set up on our house, it meant closing off an entire floor of the house. The laundry is there, cleaning supplies, etc."
"She held off on doing literally anything that might make noise for like 3 hours. She didnt even watch tv because it might slow down my internet. That is what you do when you love someone and they are going through something important." ~ GatoLocoSupremeRuler
OP and his wife need to find a compromise.















Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.