There's no denying that childcare, babysitting, and other similar services have become very expensive and even inaccessible to some families.
But this is one of those cases where you get what you pay for, and when you find a babysitter you like and trust, you have to find a way to pay them a respectable amount, agreed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor PossessionTop9791 only charged minimum wage rates to the family that she provided babysitting services for, and with the summer months fast approaching, she offered an even lower rate to cover the cost of babysitting for longer days.
When the mother rejected her request, called her greedy, and even insulted her appearance, the Original Poster (OP) refused to be disrespected and refused to babysit anymore, despite the family not having a backup babysitter on file.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for quitting a babysitting job on the spot after the mom insulted me?"
The OP only charged minimum wage for the family she provided babysitting services for.
"I (22 Female) have been babysitting for a family every weekday morning for an hour."
"I take care of two kids, get them ready, and drop them off at school using Uber."
"I charge $16 per hour, and I’ve often stayed a bit longer without charging extra."
The mother hoped for a different rate when the summer months approached.
"Recently, the mom asked if I could babysit from 7:30 AM to 3:30 PM during the kids' break."
"I said I'd be more than happy to be there."
"She asked about the rate, and I said my rate would stay the same, $16 per hour."
"She said we should talk about a flat rate for the entire day instead."
"I suggested that since it’s about eight hours per day, I could do the whole day for $115."
The OP was surprised by how the mother reacted to that rate.
"She immediately said I was taking advantage of the situation and said she would only pay $50 for the entire day."
"When I said that doesn’t work for me, she started yelling and said I was greedy, along with some really harsh personal comments about my appearance that felt completely unnecessary."
"I told her I wouldn’t be continuing at all, quit on the spot, and left."
"Since then, she has been constantly texting me, saying I’m unprofessional and that I didn’t give them any notice to find someone else, among other things."
"I told her I won’t be returning."
"Was I wrong for quitting and refusing to go back?"
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some pointed out that the OP was not charging enough for the service she was providing.
"NOR. The OP is completely being underpaid. I know the rates change according to the state that you live in, but d**n, my rate as a nanny is $24 per hour (which is the regular for the Washington area)." - Heisenbergwayne
"I thought 16 was low for two kids, but $50 for two kids AND an 8-hour work day!? That's not even federal minimum wage; it would be $6.25 an hour. I make more dog sitting as a favor." - LabSheep88
"16 dollars per hour for eight hours is 128 dollars. Asking for 115 would give her nearly two free hours. The worst part is that, it would inevitably be more than those two hours."
"With clients like this, the 'flat rate' situation always seems to open the door to, 'I have to run a couple errands; would you be a dear and stay a little longer?' and then it's 10:00 PM, and you've had to feed the kids, bathe them, and put them to bed before you ever get to think about going home." - oligodendrocyte-
"Fifty dollars for the whole day? FIFTY DOLLARS FOR THE WHOLE DAY?"
"OP, fifty dollars divided by eight is just over six dollars."
"Six dollars an hour, and you have to care for two young children by yourself, entertain them, possibly take them places (which is additional Uber costs and less money in your pocket), feed them (which might be more expense on your part), and feed yourself (again, more expense on your part)."
"And possibly do other more intimate tasks, like bathe them and clean up boo-boos, especially during the holidays, and they'd want to play and be more adventurous than after school."
"How much money would you have even been taking home at your 115 rate, let alone her insult of FIFTY?" - lyricoloratura
"First, you're not even charging enough, let alone being greedy. Second, rates are not the MAIN issue if 'she started yelling and said I was greedy, along with some really harsh personal comments about my appearance' is on the table."
"NOR, OP. I am sorry that happened, and I am very sorry for the small bubs." - ExampleLittle2672
Others agreed and were certain that the mother was trying to corner the OP into providing free, extra labor and were furious that her babysitter had caught on.
"People love love love to take advantage of young women doing jobs like this. They act like young women should be grateful for any 'opportunity.'"
"The number of times as a dumb 17-year-old I was paid like $20 for a whole day of watching a baby and a toddler is embarrassing now, even though I didn't take that job many times, but I didn't know better or how to ask for more, and these families went to church with me, so I thought surely they would treat me fairly." - lacundadelaluna
"That lady is about to get a reality check when she starts shopping around for a new babysitter. NOR."
"OP, she was asking you to work for $6.25 per hour for the $50. She f**ked around, and now, she can find out!" - Jaber1077
"NOR. At $115, you basically gave her an hour for free. If she didn’t want to pay $16 an hour, she should have said, 'Let me think about it' and tried to find someone cheaper."
"I don't know why she got mad at you for this, especially when she already knew your rate, but even if she hadn’t, she had no reason to yell at you!" - HagathaPathetica
"NOR. OP was being generous, trying to work with the mom. Considering how the mom responded to that, entertaining any negotiations with her at that point would probably be a mistake." - Creative_crafter72
"She didn’t want someone cheaper, she wanted OP, and she wanted her at a half-price rate."
"And like all spoiled brats, she threw a tantrum when she didn’t get her way, and started spitting invective because she thought that would get OP to give in."
"If you want to keep good babysitters around, you have to take good care of them, and all the OP was asking for was already undercharging herself." - DigDugDogDun
"I would ask her if you're worth $20 per hour now. Not negotiating, just pointing out she had a good deal and she screwed it up. NOR." - Ok-Society4599
Some simply reassured the OP that her reaction in this situation was totally justified.
"If she doesn't want to pay you a professional rate, then she doesn't get to expect 'professional' behavior out of you. NOR." - seamonstre
"She technically got professional behavior. My response would be something to the effect that my job does not require me to accept verbal abuse, nor does professional conduct require that I tolerate or subject myself to such for any reason."
"As such, the mother's behavior negated any necessity of providing any kind of notice, period."
"I would likely end it with the fact that professionals are not required to tolerate her abuse and that perhaps she should keep that in mind for the future. Then I would stop interacting with her." - ladysdevil
"NOR. This is exactly how I coached my team in a professional, public-facing job. When complaints turn abusive, that's where we stop. No one has to take foul language or personal comments."
"It's not like you walked out mid-shift and left two young children on the curb, waiting alone for their mother to get home. You simply refused to CONTINUE to provide a service, which can happen at any time, especially when she treated you that way." - Annual_Strategy_6206
"I would argue that OP's behavior was professional. Personal insults and harassment are not tolerated, and they chose to end their business relationship because of their behavior. At my job, I'm required to hang up the phone on people who get abusive." - eugeneeugene
"No employee EVER owes ANY employer the courtesy of notice. Employers don’t give notice when they terminate you. And if the employer is abusive, the employee doesn’t owe them a single minute of consideration." - MrsOleson
After receiving feedback, the OP felt reassured and started charging more for her babysitting services!
"Thank you to everyone who responded. I really appreciate it."
"I just wanted to clarify that I know quitting was the right decision. What I was unsure about was whether I overreacted by quitting on the spot and leaving them without childcare or any time to figure something out."
"I saw a few comments saying it was obvious, which I understand."
"I also want to clarify that where I’m from, the minimum wage is $16 per hour. At the time, I was desperate and without a job, so I based my rate on that and never increased it for them."
"Since then, I’ve done occasional babysitting for others and now charge $18.50 per hour."
The OP may have felt conflicted about quitting on the spot and leaving the kids she'd been babysitting behind, but the subreddit reassured her that this was the wake-up call her former client needed.
Babysitting is expensive and really hard for most parents to factor into their budget, but the last thing anyone wants to do is leave their children in the care of someone who feels disrespected. And the last thing a babysitter wants to do is provide care for multiple children for an entire day, knowing that the parents wouldn't even blink at their efforts.
