Guy Upset When Friends Go On His Birthday Cruise Without Him After His Reservation Got Canceled

There's little more exciting than making plans with close friends. Until those plans get disrupted in one form or another. Especially when this particular disruption affects one or some but not the entire group.

Leaving those not affected to wonder if it would be acceptable for them to proceed with said plans?

Friends of Redditor SuperbDesigner4 made some special plans for his milestone birthday.

Unfortunately, a mix-up prevented the original poster (OP) from partaking in these plans.

When his friends decided to proceed as planned without him, the OP was less than pleased.

Wondering if he was wrong for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for being upset that my best friends went on my birthday cruise without me?"

The OP explained why he was angry at his friends over a birthday surprise gone awry:

"My girlfriend (42 F[emale]) and two best friends (39 F and 30 F) planned a surprise cruise for me (40 M[ale]) for my 40th birthday."

"They didn't manage to keep the fact that it was a cruise a secret, but I didn't know what ship, what destinations, nothing."

'The morning of the cruise, we meet at the train station to take the 3-hour train ride to the port."

"When we got there, my girlfriend told me that there was an issue with the agent she booked through, and our reservation was canceled."

"Cruise line customer support says that if we go to the port, they might be able to let us on, and we had premium train tickets with drinks included, so we decided to go for it."

"My two best friends are there for all of this and know, and had booked separately, so they were all checked in and good to go."

"We get to the port, and I try to get the boat security and guest services and port security to make a miracle happen and get us on the ship."

"We tried to get added as two extra people in my best friends' room, at the end, one of my best friends even asked if they would change the names on their room and just let my gf and I go."

"All to no avail, there was no way to get us on the ship."

"My two best friends say, 'we're really sorry, that sucks. You two will figure out something to do instead, though. Love you, bye,' and get on the ship and go."

"The last day of the cruise, they message me and ask if I'm ok, and I say, 'Look, I'm not going to lie. The more I think about it, the more hurt I am. It isn't your fault I couldn't go, not at all. But there is no way I would have gone on either of your birthday trips without you'."

"Now, they're both pissed at me and are fighting me and telling me I'm an a**hole for putting that on them and making them feel guilty for going on the trip."

"It was a weekend cruise, so about $450 a person."

"And no, it isn't their fault at all I couldn't go, and my hurt for their choice doesn't mean I'm not upset, and significantly more upset, at the agent."

"My issue, and I explained this to them in my initial concern, was that it had been one of them in this situation, I would have thrown my money away and stayed with them, because for me, they are the point of the trip in that scenario."

"The money is just money (and, also, both of them are more financially stable than I am, maybe because I'm perfectly willing to throw away money )."

"Lastly, had it not been for their response, this would have never been posted."

"I very calmly said that my feelings were a little bit hurt because it isn't what I would have done."

"They started screaming at me and telling me how pissed they were at me, and now a little over a week later, have thrown away nearly 10 years of friendship and aren't speaking to me."

"So, AITAH for being hurt that my best friends went on my 40th birthday cruise without me?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

While the Reddit community understood why the OP was upset, they otherwise agreed that he was the a**Hole for the way he handled things.

Everyone found the OP's reaction fairly immature, and that he didn't really have any right to be mad at his friends, as they did make an effort to change their room to his name, and if he should be mad at anyone, it was his girlfriend:

"I’m very curious what this issue with the booking agent was."

"Final payments are due weeks in advance, and not paying your balance results in an immediate cancellation, which would have been made known to your gf and the agent, again, weeks prior."

"Also soft YTA."

"Do you really want your friends to have lost out on thousands of dollars because of something that wasn’t their fault?"

"Yeah it stinks that it was for your birthday, but it also wouldn’t have been fair to them to lose out on all of that money."-Exotic_Yam_1703

"YTA."

"Come on now, you're 40, not 4."

"Did you really expect them to lose out on all the money they spent on the trip because your gf messed up your reservations?"

"You said yourself that they tried to transfer their reservations over to yours and your girlfriend‘s names, and they wouldn’t allow that."

"What else did you expect them to do?'

"Grow up."- t27lyneYta

"They tried to make it work, they even offered their reservation and name changes just so you could go, but unfortunately, it was denied, and this is not their fault."

"YTA for expecting from them to just give up their paid reservation, for which they would not get a refund, almost certainly ( because my friend's reservation did not come through, it is not a valid reason for a refund)."

'So you wanted them to lose the money they spent, days they took from work, and just sit at home for xx days because your gf or travel agent did not make reservations correctly."

"I know that the point was a surprise cruise for your bf, but seriously, you expected them to just lose money, time, etc….. I’m sure this was some sort of vacation for them as well."

"The audacity."- san_severiaYTA

"They tried to give you their room. What else could they do at that point?"

"You weren't alone you had your GF with you."

"You should have insisted they go and wished them fun at that point really."

"No way I would want my best friends to waste their money by not going at all once the f@ck up happened."

"I understand you felt disappointed that you couldn't go of course, that does suck."

"But you should be angry at the agent not your friends (unless they knew he was worthless)."- CrazyandiloveitYTA

"It would've been NAH if you were just bummed about the situation at large, that is fair and reasonable."

"But where it tips into AH territory is because you are trying to guilt trip them, whether intentionally or not."

"Your friends were in between a rock and a hard spot, they were either going to disappoint you by going or lose out on a significant portion of money if they hadn't gotten on the cruise."

"They made every effort at the dock to see if they could get you on the boat and that was what should have been expected."-coastalkid92

"'When we get there, my girlfriend tells me that there was an issue with the agent she booked through and our reservation was cancelled'."

"Well I call bullsh*t on that… why aren’t you mad at your gf?"

"Anyway YTA, did you expect them to just lose all of the money they spent on the booking?"

"Are you sure you’re 40?"- Mobius_Stripping

"You should be more mad at your girlfriend for using some shady booking agency that canceled on you at the last minute."

"Your friends had no reason to lose out on a very expensive trip that they’d already paid for because of her actions."

"They tried everything they could, including adding you to their rooms and just giving you their places, and they couldn’t."

"They’re not just going to waste money because of your girlfriend’s error."

"YTA, and why aren’t you upset with her?"

"You’re arguing and fighting with the wrong people."- Ok_Brilliant6017

The OP had every right to be disappointed that his birthday surprise proved to be a bust. Being angry at his friends, who booked their own room and didn't want their money to go to waste, is a bit less understandable.

Especially as they did make an effort to get them on the ship.

If the OP doesn't want 10 years of friendship to be thrown away, then he needs to make an effort to save it.