Cruises are a favorite choice for many family and group vacations.
It can be a magical time.
But it is also a very expensive time.
Some people save up for years.
That’s why picking who gets to go and who has to stay is often a very methodical decision.
But sometimes things do go according to plan!
Redditor LongjumpingBike2772 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for paying for my son’s entitled G[irl]F[riend] to come on a cruise with us instead of their cousin?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“We went on a family cruise that has become a yearly tradition.”
“The only difference is my son, who is 18 years old, wanted to bring his girlfriend (Morgan) this time and we said it sounded like a great idea.”
“We paid for her trip and everything she’ll need, and it was pretty costly.”
“Because of this, we couldn’t pay for our niece, 16.”
“Her parents don’t have much expendable money, they are pretty poor, and she was unable to come on this trip.”
“We promised we’d go on another cruise during Summer and pay for her to come.”
“I felt bad we couldn’t bring her, but we wanted our son’s girlfriend to feel welcomed.”
“Well, she has been a little difficult.”
“I had met her before and thought she was a lovely girl, but I got a completely different interpretation of her this trip.”
“When she first saw her room, she said she was expecting more and it seemed small.”
“That really rubbed me wrong, but I ignored it.”
“My son told me she came from a wealthy family.”
“My kids were sad their cousin wasn’t here, but I told them to spend time with Morgan.”
“Unfortunately, they’ve been getting into fights.”
“Morgan yelled at my kids because they used a handicap elevator, specifically designed for disabled people.”
“She said it was rude and entitled.”
“My kids pointed out that they got lost and had no idea where they were.”
“They found the elevator and decided to take it up.”
“They said no disabled people were using the elevator but if they were they would have given it up immediately.”
“But Morgan said it was really entitled and shi**y of them.”
“I’m not sure I understand her logic here.”
“It seems like she’s starting fights over nothing, and I’m confused by how she’s parenting my kids.”
“She’s been getting into multiple fights with my daughters, who are exhausted of her.”
“I overheard them talking about how awful she is at a dinner and approached them to tell them to shut up.
“People can hear them, and we don’t want Morgan to feel unwelcomed.”
“They said they were tired of her.”
“She was super entitled and still complaining that we didn’t spend money on a better cruise or better things to do.”
“Unbelievable because this cruise was around 2k for each person.”
“They said I was an a**hole for leaving their cousin at home and inviting this entitled person instead.”
“They said their cousin should be here, not this lady.”
“I told them we need to show support for their brother’s relationship, someone that could be a part of the family one day.”
“I’m sad to leave my niece home too.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“YTA… if you feel that this girl will be part of your family when they are both 18.”
“The GF is also an AH for acting like she is.”
“I dealt with people like this.”
“Someone who feels their it doesn’t stink and that their way is the only way.”
“Avoid at all costs and if you can’t let them fail and fail hard.”
“Maybe they will get humble.” ~ trfkah
“It’s good practice to be careful of what you say around your kid’s S[ignificant] O[ther]’s because of a lot of reasons, but one of them is because they most certainly could become one of the family one day.”
“No, it’s not as likely at only 18 (and this sure sounds like one of those cases that you hope it’s not), but it does happen.” ~ Grilled_Cheese10
“B[oy]F[riend]/GF? Nope – not included in vacations/Christmas/Family Reunions.”
“Fiancé/Fiancée? Yep – included in everything.”
“For the siblings that were not engaged in their early 20s, the rules were different for them (as they should be) but it was a solid way for my parents to prevent the high drama young relationships from destroying family vacations and holidays.”
“OP, you guys are allowing your 18-year-old son’s girlfriend to ruin the trip for the entire family – that is unacceptable.”
“She is destroying this for the rest of you.”
“And for your son, too.”
“This is when you choose to parent and make no mistake, you have REAL options here.”
“You and your husband need to sit your son down and ask him if he really thinks her behavior is acceptable.”
“That she is a GUEST with the family and is choosing to make everyone else miserable in both her behavior and her virtue signaling.”
“Then you need to sit them BOTH down and tell them that her behavior is absolutely unacceptable and that you will not tolerate her treating the family the way she is.”
“That she gets her attitude in check IMMEDIATELY, or you will be calling her parents and having them pay to have her fly home at the next port.”
“This is also when YOU as a parent need to sit your son down and talk with him about acceptable behavior what to expect in a partner and what to not tolerate.”
“This is a VERY VERY solid life lesson for him right here about boundaries and what to accept from a partner and what not to accept from a partner.”
“He might be 18 but I can guarantee there is a big piece of him right now that is regretting inviting her, not sure how to get out of this and probably feeling absolutely strangled by the relationship with her.” ~ lovetotravelanytime
“The idea you chose your son’s girlfriend over your niece was just an AH mood.”
“Clearly, you haven’t spent enough time with her as a family and that is my number one rule: don’t bring significant others on vacations (especially in tight quarters) when you don’t know them well.”
“It was nice of you to pay but if her family had paid her way you could have paid for your niece, who I’m sure would have been appreciative of the trip.” ~ Impossibly_single
“YTA. I can’t believe you went over to police their conversation.”
“So what a bunch of strangers could hear that they don’t like her?”
“They’re absolutely allowed to have opinions and discuss that with each other.”
“Where have you been the whole time she’s been ruining your children’s vacation and calling them names?”
“Why does some random girl get put before everyone else?”
“Why on this Earth would you pay $2k+ for your son’s teenage girlfriend to go on a cruise with you?!”
“Especially when odds are they break up, hopefully, sooner than later, from the sounds of it.”
“The only part of this ‘fun family vacation’ that your kids are going to remember is how awful this girl is, how she ruined it, and how you did nothing but tell them to shut up and take it.” ~ agarrabrant
“YTA, if she’s from a wealthy family she should have paid for herself.”
“And they could have gotten a room far away from you.”
“Hope you learned your lesson.” ~ lmmontes
“Exactly my take.”
“Even if she wasn’t wealthy she and OP’s son could’ve worked to get enough money to cover her trip.”
“YTA for excluding the cousin.” ~ -Nightopian-
“I don’t exactly understand your question.”
“Are you really asking whether you are an AH for inviting a jerk along on vacation?”
“Because that’s what your title says.”
“Of course you aren’t, you didn’t know she was a jerk when you invited her.”
“However, I don’t want to give you a verdict of NTA because I think you are way off base with how you handled the situation with your daughters.”
“Your idea of ‘just don’t say anything, keep the peace’ is exactly the wrong way to handle a friend or family member who is being a jerk.”
“So they just get to keep on being a jerk for the rest of the vacation, and even the rest of your lives, and everyone else just shuts up and takes it forever?”
“In fact, ‘just ignore it and don’t say anything’ is reasonable regarding the bad behavior of a total stranger whom you are never going to see again; the bigger a part of your life someone is, the worse that strategy becomes.”
“So I say YTA for the question you didn’t ask.”
“I said YTA but I should have said ESH because obviously Morgan sucks too.” ~ CoverCharacter8179
“YTA. Eighteen-year-old teenager girlfriend did not need to be included in a family outing.”
“You supported your son’s bed partner instead of a known and missed cousin.”
“At 18, GF could have paid for herself if she wanted to come so badly.”
“Otherwise, the cousin was the obvious choice.”
“At 16, the cousin had lots less opportunities to take a cruise/visit/enjoy the benefits of travel.” ~ JustAGal_Love
“YTA… just for seemingly disrupting a family tradition to bring along a girlfriend that you don’t know that well, and can’t have been dating your son that long.”
“The problems with her are kind of irrelevant, but I guess it’s good to find out what she’s like early.”
“However, this just seems strange and short-sighted to not invite your niece whom all your children know and miss.” ~ thisisimportant8
Well, OP, Reddit has some issues with this situation. Morgan sounds like a handful.
Your heart was in the right place. Maybe next time, it could be a group/family decision.