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Woman Irate After ‘Impatient’ Husband Tries To Takes Credit For Teaching Her How To Drive

Frustrated young girl in car, is waiting in the traffic jam in a rainy day
praetorianphoto/GettyImages

Learning how to drive can be stressful.

Some people pick it up easily.

Other people really struggle.

The open road can be a dangerous place.

That’s why having the right teacher to guide you is imperative.

Redditor Landscapeseven wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for snapping at my husband in front of his family, and revealing that he hasn’t helped me like he claims?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Hi everyone.”

“For my whole life, I (30 F[emale]) have had a lot of anxiety when it comes to driving.”

“It has never been too much of a problem, as I live in a city and I can walk wherever I need to go.”

“I have been married to my husband, ‘Stan’ (32 M[ale]) for three years, together for six.”

“Throughout our relationship, he has tried to help me learn how to drive.”

“The problem is, Stan is not a very good teacher and gets very impatient, and angry every time we try.”

“We go to the parking lot of an abandoned warehouse sometimes, it’s huge.”

“Anyway, if I make one small mistake, for example, if I don’t check my mirrors for a long enough time; Stan yells at me.”

“I would already BE nervous at the wheel, but with all the yelling, it would cause me to break down and cry.”

“I have a brother, Paul (33 M) who I hang out with typically once a week.”

“A few months ago, I was talking to Paul about how I want to learn how to drive, but I’m very nervous about it.”

“He offered to help teach me when we hang out.”

“Paul’s husband, Chris also was willing to help me out, and they actually made me feel so much more at ease behind the wheel.”

“I thought I was bad at driving, but it turns out, I was just anxious.”

“Another factor that made me want to learn besides feeling like I need to do this, is that Stan has told me that he won’t have a child with me until I get my license.”

“Which I definitely understand.”

“Two weeks ago, on my day off from work, Paul and Chris took me to the DMV and I finally got my license!!”

“I also bought a used car a few days ago from money that I’ve been saving up for years.”

“I’m so happy, and I have the support from my brother and his husband.”

“I thought Stan would be mad that I did all of this behind his back.”

“And he was somewhat disappointed that I didn’t want his help.”

“I love him so much, but honestly, he wasn’t the right teacher for me.”

“Anyway, on Sunday, Stan and I both had off from work, and he told me he had a surprise for me.”

“He took me to his parent’s house, where they had a celebration for me, basically like a little party congratulating me because I learned how to drive.”

“Halfway through, my mother-in-law was giving a speech about how proud she was of me, but also proud of my husband, for all of the support and lessons he was giving me.”

“I could feel the anger rising in my chest.”

“Stan had been telling everyone that HE was the one who has been teaching me to drive.”

“I snapped and told everyone, basically that the few times Stan tried to teach me, I always ended up crying because he would yell at me until he was blue in the face.”

“That the ONLY people who helped me and gave me confidence were Paul and Chris.”

“And that, if anything… Stan made things worse for me.”

“Which was true.”

“But now, Stan won’t talk to me. My M[other]-I[n]-L[aw], F[ather]-I[n]-L[aw], and S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] are on my side, but my two BILs and a couple of cousins are on Stan’s side.”

“I kind of DO feel like an AH. “

“But at the same time, everything I said was true.”

The OP was left to wonder:

“AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA, but are you absolutely sure this is the person you want to have a child with?”

“If he can’t muster the patience to teach you how to do something, what is he going to be like with a 2-year-old?” ~ Own_Lack_4526

“Stan seems to have anger issues.”

“I don’t think he will be very good with kids- and not just little ones.”

“As kids grow, they develop their own way, and cats forbid if the kid can’t run fast enough or needs an equation explained twice.”

“NTA, but think hard.” ~ Calm-Management2211

“Oh, it’s totally reasonable to want her to be able to drive before having a kid.”

“But he badgered her enough that she couldn’t pass the driving test, so maybe he was using it as an excuse.”

“A friend of mine gave me her bike and told her husband I needed it to get to work, but she really gave it to me because she didn’t like going on bike rides with her husband.”

“She straight up told me that she could stall him for a couple of summers before she got another bike and that was why she gave me hers.”

“He lied to his family and told them that he was the one who helped her pass the test, knowing that he wasn’t helping her anymore.”

“He’s kind of a manipulative d**k, so it’s not that much of a stretch. 🤷🏻‍♀️” ~ Pantokraterix

“Parent tip: raising a child is much more frustrating, temper-inducing, sanity questioning of a job than teaching a grown adult to drive.”

“He’s shown you what happens in a situation he doesn’t quite understand and lost patience in.”

“I think some work needs to be done before the baby talks too. NTA.” ~ sunnydays0306

“For freaking real! Kids have no logical brains yet and their wants, needs, immediate urgencies, and future desires are completely mixed.”

“What is he going to do when babies discover gravity and think dropping spoons for you to pick up repeatedly is a fun game?”

“Or when they discover how loud their voices can be, so they scream for no reason other than just to hear themselves?”

“Or any thousand other things like asking for the blue cup but crying when you give them the blue cup because what they actually wanted was the pink cup but they don’t know the word pink?”

“If he can’t handle her not looking at a mirror on his schedule and screams until he’s blue in the face.”

“I absolutely fear for any child in his house.” ~ wagashiwizard

“This this this!!!!”

“My 1-year-old screams constantly for the pleasure of hearing her own voice.”

“And loves dropping things off her trip trip.”

“It’s so frustrating and yet… what can you do?”

“You have to keep your cool no matter what. I also fear for his future children, no child/baby deserves to be yelled at for things they cannot control.”

“NTA, but your husband is for sure!” ~ neylen

“Parenting is hard!”

“I thought I had good patience, no my patience gets tested every night while my 4-year-old takes 45 mins to eat dinner.”

“Some nights are not my finest hour.”

“OP think long and hard before you get pregnant by this man.”

“He couldn’t teach an adult how to drive. How do you think he will do teaching a 16-year-old?!?!”

“I guarantee that kid will be in tears.”

“NTA but you will be if you have children with this man.” ~ Timely-Second2457

“NTA. Please don’t have a child with this person.”

“Anyone who puts conditions on having a child with you (i.e. ‘not until you get your license’) doesn’t see you as a life partner, they see you as a broodmare.”

“Don’t get stuck with a baby from this joker, he will eventually bail on you and you will be a single parent.”

“At the very least, get counseling.”

“Preferably with Stan, who sounds like he would be an absolute s**t as a parent if he doesn’t have any more patience than that.” ~ Tarik861

“Take that driver’s license and your new car and use it to drive away from him.”

“He cannot regulate his emotions. He lies to his family about his actions, he yells at someone who is learning and extremely nervous for not knowing exactly what to do.”

“This is not someone to have babies with.”

“Is he going to yell at them because they can’t communicate the way he wants?”

“Will he throw a bigger tantrum than your toddler?”

“Is he going to be a decent, active parent?”

“Or are you supposed to do it all as a grown woman who ‘should’ do it. NTA.” ~ Ok-Writing9280

“NTA. Do not have kids with him.”

“He is not a patient man and now he shows that he lies.”

“Not good father material.”

“Honestly not good husband material either.” ~ Trick_Delivery4609

“NTA. You wanted to be celebrated because you accomplished something big that you had been working on for a while.”

“Your husband wanted credit for your accomplishment.” ~ aj_alva

“NTA. I can see how you might feel like you were, but truly, you are not.”

“You spoke the truth.”

“You did so in a reasonable way.”

“While the truth can hurt, merely saying the truth is not an a**hole thing to do.”

“Stan is the AH here who was not respecting you when teaching you to drive and was an even bigger AH when taking credit for it.” ~ cascadia1979

“NTA. While I don’t think being a bad teacher makes him automatically a bad parent.”

“Though it is telling and something he should work on.”

“What irks me is taking credit for something he KNEW he didn’t do.”

“That is really poor behavior.” ~ Lovegivingadvice

“You told the truth, and your husband is angry?”

“You have anxiety, and he made it worse (how will he handle a child who could have more anxiety than you)?”

“Stop and ask yourself why you are feeling bad, then ask yourself why you want to share a child with this giant baby. NTA.” ~ rphzl

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

You, your brother, and BIL worked hard to get you prepared.

Your husband should be toasting you and thanking them, not trying to steal credit.

It sounds like y’all may need to have a severe relationship chat.

Happy driving.