In the grand scheme of things, we are all on our own journey, making it imperative that we don't measure ourselves against other people.
Easy to say, but much harder to do, as most of us at some point or another have indeed done just that.
With some measuring themselves a bit more literally than others.
The Roommate of Redditor Primary_Mango5918 was going through some personal struggles.
Struggles she openly shared on social media.
Unfortunately, she directly compared herself to the OP in these social media posts, including some visual references.
A decision the OP did not appreciate at all, leading to a confrontation between them.
Having some misgivings about her behavior, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for snapping at my roommate after she kept comparing her weight-loss journey to my body online?"
The OP explained why she found herself exchanging a few choice words with her roommate:
"My roommate's been posting her weight-loss journey on social media, and I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable because she keeps making my body part of her content."
"For context, I’m 5’7 around 110lbs."
"I have always struggled to keep weight on."
"If I don’t intentionally eat more than I feel full, I tend to drop closer to 105 lbs, which is stressful and physically tiring for me."
"I’m giving these details only because my body has become part of the issue."
"I don’t think my body should be used as someone else’s public comparison point, weight-loss goal, or surgery reference."
"She has said online that part of why she started losing weight was because she felt 'so big' next to her roommate(me)."
"She also said a guy she brought home looking at me the next morning instead of her."
"That already made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything at first."
"We have designated fridge and pantry shelves. because I’m trying to maintain/gain weight, I keep higher-calorie foods around, like avocado/brioche/ribeye/full-fat yogurt/oils/desserts but she yelled at me for being 'unsupportive' because the food on my shelves was tempting her."
"To keep the peace, I bought opaque containers and put all my food in those."
"I have talked to her before and asked her to stop."
"She said she read that it was good to have a real-life goal instead of a celebrity."
"She did say she'll stop the online posts, but irl she didn't stop."
"There was also a post where she said she was considering a boob job."
"She actually took one of my bras from the laundry and showed it in the video."
"She read out my bra size and the brand from the label, commented on the bra design, and even put it on herself."
"She also showed two photos of me with my face censored but my body visible."
"She repeatedly commented on my waist, chest, thighs, and drew lines on the photos."
"I felt incredibly violated."
"Even with my face censored, that was still my body, my underwear, and my private information being used as content."
"I also felt like my body was being publicly evaluated, but I didn’t want to comment publicly because I didn’t want to identify myself."
"A couple of days ago, we were at a mutual friend’s get-together, and she refused to eat cake someone had made because she said it would make her fat and that she 'wasn’t [my name], who just eats anything'.”
"I snapped."
"I said something like, 'You’re never going to be me. You’ll never be as skinny, and you’ll just end up with an ed and tons of plastic surgery because you’ll never have my natural waist and boobs'.”
"I know that was harsh, but I also didn't think I snapped out of nowhere."
"She started crying, and some ppl said I was being cruel and unsupportive."
"I said, 'Then she should stop posting about me on social media' but some people still defended her saying she should be able to have body goals and post about body positivity."
"Some of her friends even dmed me about being so cruel, so now I'm not so sure..."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for snapping at her roommate.
Everyone agreed that the OP's roommate had no right to post those photos without her consent, with many urging the OP to either find a different roommate or a different living situation:
"Her behaviour is creepy and inappropriate."
"To take your underwear is next level, and I would report this content."
"Really you need another roommate."
"And you are no more 'unsupportive' of her than she is of you with the food issue."
"You can eat what you want in your own home."
"NTA."- Dogmother123
"NTA."
"Your roommate is creepy."
"Like ‘I want to wear your skin’ creepy."
"Call her out every time."
"This is not okay."
"You have a right to exist."
"You have a right to eat what you want."
"You are not her mother or her child."
"Her problems with her weight are not for you to manage."
"She needs to get a grip."
"Just because she cried doesn’t mean you were wrong."
"Let her cry."
"I’m so pissed on your behalf."
"I repeat, your roommate is a creep."
"She is posting your body without your consent, objectifying you."- Late-Champion8678
"Posting your body, drawing lines on it, getting your BRA?! "
"That's wildly inappropriate behavior."
"It's time for a new roommate."
"NTA."
"Your reaction probably seems overblown for anyone who doesn't realize the death by a thousand cuts that have gone on."
"You already modified your food storage only for her to keep escalating."
"If you are in college in a dorm, involve campus housing because her behavior is extremely problematic."- Divorced_life
"NTA."
"This isn't a 'body goal', this is a Single White Female situation."
"She is hyper-fixated on you to a point that is borderline pathological."
"Using your bra as a prop is a boundary crossing so severe that I’d honestly be looking for a new place to live or a way to get her off the lease."
"You aren't 'unsupportive' for refusing to be a sacrificial lamb for her insecurities."- SpecificExistence
"Holy f*ck. NTA."
"I stopped reading where she posted and tried on your f*cking bra."
"All of this is disgusting behavior on her part."
"Jfc you don't owe this person anything!"
"You certainly don't owe it to her to be content fodder for her foray in social media."
"Hope you can move out soon."- Flat-Replacement4828
"NTA."
"This is the kind of stalker / wannabe energy you don't want living with you."- B-owie
"NTA."
"She needs to stop posting nonconsensual pictures of you, stop taking nonconsensual pictures of your underwear(!), and stop making comments/analyses about your body."
"That's not body positivity; that's stalking."
"Her behavior is cruel and creepy."
"She needs to stop it."
"Now."
"And for her friends who don't seem to know where the acceptable line is:"
"She can have goals without objectifying you."
"She can post about body positivity without objectifying you."
"She can work on her own health WITHOUT OBJECTIFYING YOU."- Normal-Height-8577
"NTA, what she is doing is greatly violating your privacy and not normal; it could be grounds for being reported."
"Also, under-fueling your body is just as much of an issue as being overweight. The way she flipped you taking care of yourself and your health into being unsupportive is cruel, and her playing the victim."
"You should really consider getting another roommate, trying on your bra, and analyzing your body like that on social media is really unsettling."- ParamedicLanky7337
"Probably should’ve been phrased differently, but NTA."
"Posting pictures of your body without your consent isn’t 'body positivity', it’s negativity, even if it’s mostly self-hate."
"What she did was violating."- Justhereforthis1post
"NTA… she’s allowed to comment on your body and eating habits, but you can’t comment on hers?"- Optimal_Shirt6637
"NTA."
"I would be reporting her accounts every single time she so much as alluded to my existence and report all content with me or my belongings or a reference to me in it for bullying, harassment, stalking, or whatever you can cause no."
"I would also move out immediately and go no contact."
"This is psycho sh*t."
"I would get the f*ck away from her and never look back."
"Not worth your time."
"And if anyone tries to guilt or shame you, I would look them dead in the eye and tell them to f*ck off and mind their own business."
"This is the weird sh*t that gets weirder if you continue to be in a relationship of any kind with this person."- AlienPrincess33
It couldn't have been easy for the OP's roommate to be spoken to like the OP spoke to her.
Perhaps being called out in public like that gave her an indication of how the OP felt being more or less exploited as she was.
The OP's roommate isn't necessarily doing anything wrong by sharing her feelings about her weight-loss journey.
But sharing information and images of the OP crosses a line.
u/Rosi_ana/Reddit
u/Rosi_ana/Reddit