Finalizing a guest list for a wedding can be fairly stressful.
After all, even big weddings have a maximum capacity, so as much as the bride and groom might want to invite anyone and everyone, not everyone can make the cut.
On the flip side, a lot of time is spent deliberating on whether or not to invite people they feel somewhat obligated to, but deep down would rather not.
A shortlist that often includes family members.
Redditor MutedThroat2014 and his fiancée were soon to get married.
As the day fast approached, however, there was one particular guest that both the original poster (OP) and his fiancée wanted to leave off the guest list.
A decision that was bound to put the OP at odds with his entire family.
Uncertain on how to proceed, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here?" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for refusing to let my brother bring his girlfriend to my wedding after she insulted my fiancée?"
The OP explained why they did not want their brother's girlfriend on the guest list for his upcoming wedding:
"I (29 M[ale]) am getting married in three months to my fiancée (28 F[emale])."
"My brother (31 M[ale]) has been dating his girlfriend (30 F[emale]) for about a year."
"At first, I thought she was fine, but over the last few months she’s made several rude comments about my fiancée’s job, our guest list, and even the size of the wedding."
"Last weekend, we had a family dinner to go over final wedding plans."
"My fiancée mentioned that we were keeping the ceremony small and asked everyone to respect the seating arrangement."
"My brother’s girlfriend laughed and said, 'This whole thing sounds cheap and kind of pointless anyway'.”
"My fiancée got quiet, and I told her that was out of line."
"Then, as if that wasn’t enough, she also complained that the wedding date had to be moved because it clashed with a facial appointment she’d booked months ago, and said we should probably move the ceremony so she wouldn’t have to 'look tired in photos'.”
"After that, my brother said she was 'just being honest' and that I was overreacting."
"I told him that if she couldn’t be respectful, she wasn’t welcome at the wedding."
"Now my brother is furious and says I’m humiliating him by excluding his girlfriend."
"My mom thinks I should let it go to keep the peace."
"My fiancée says she doesn’t want someone at our wedding who openly disrespects us."
"AITA for refusing to invite my brother’s girlfriend to my wedding after what she said?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was doing the right thing by excluding his brother's girlfriend from his wedding.
Pretty much everyone agreed that not only did the disrespectful behavior of the OP's brother's girlfriend justify her exclusion from the wedding, but many felt that it seemed clear that she didn't even want to go:
"Tell your brother you just plain old don’t like her."
"You’re being honest."- RecentContest9154
“'We really don’t want to interfere with your facial, you really look like it’s needed, we’ll see you when you’re done.”- lovebeingana**hole
"'She also complained that the wedding date had to be moved because it clashed with a facial appointment she’d booked months ago, and said we should probably move the ceremony so she wouldn’t have to “look tired in photos.”
"So you're doing her a massive favor by not inviting her."
"She won't look tired in the wedding photos because she won't be in them."
"Also, she won't be able to coerce your brother into proposing to her at the wedding reception."
"Because she sure sounds like the kind of person who would do exactly that."- TararaBoomDA
"'So she wouldn’t have to 'look tired in photos'.”
"It's so cute to think she'll be in any of the photos."- twothirtysevenam
"Isn't this redundant anyway since the GF has a facial booked and cannot attend?"- J_Side
"NTA."
"'Hey bro, my future wife and I decided that your girlfriend's too obnoxious and rude to invite to our wedding, so she's out."
"'WHOA, don't get so mad!'"
"'We're just being honest!'"
"'You know, like your girlfriend'."- Owenashi
"NTA and I would uninvite my brother too."- SixStarz6
"NTA."
"'Just being honest" in this case means 'I'm being an asshole'."- naranghim
"NTA."
"Let your brother stay home, too."
"Bonus: less expense and pressure on seating arrangements."
"Also, never, EVER side with a SIL over your wife."
"Ever."- SuspiciousImpact2197
"Those comments of hers are unhinged, but the 'price' you pay is that your enabling brother with poor taste will likely not come (win-win in my book, but painful)."
"NTA."- dealienation
"NTA."
"She doesn't respect your decisions or both of you."
"If your brother doesn't see how his girlfriend is acting, uninvite him too."- AtomicCitron76
"NTA."
"She’s a girlfriend of one year, and she thinks she’s going to be in the pictures?!"
"She sounds very entitled."- gdognoseit
"She wants to not come, so you're doing her a favor."
"You should think of a way to make her come but humiliate her another way while she's there."- NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT
"Boy, your brother is in for it if he marries that witch, but it seems like he deserves her."
"Best wishes for your future."- Global_Stock_5264
"Nope, do not allow her rude ass at your wedding."
"She is smack-talking everything because she is jealous."
"Maintain that she is not welcome."- winterworld561
"NTA."
"What’s the problem?"
"She already has that long-awaited, prescheduled facial appointment that day."
"She wouldn’t want to miss that and look tired, not to mention she doesn’t want to attend this cheap and pointless event."
"You didn’t humiliate anyone."
"She’s claiming that BS honestly thing to cover rudeness."
"It’s your and your fiancee’s day."
"Only people who want to be there to celebrate with you are welcome."
"She’s obviously not about that."
"Your brother may decide that he won’t come if she’s not invited, in which case you’ll have to decide if you’re want him there bad enough to accept her presence (especially now that they’re both angry) or if you’re willing to call his bluff and tell him you’ll miss him."
"Does he have a role in the wedding, like a best man or groomsman?"
"If so, you might want to go ahead and replace him so he can’t hold that over your head."
"Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!"
"Best wishes!"
"UpdateMe."- ThrowRA071312
"NTA."
"Tell both your bro and his gf to keep the facial appointment as her presence is no longer wanted at the wedding."
"I would also tell her that all the facials in the world won't stop people from seeing her inner ugliness."
"Oh, and your bro is an AH for saying that."- virtualghost123
"What did I just read?!"
"Some people really do find all the audacity on sale."
"I would absolutely not invite someone like that to my wedding."
"Congrats girl, you don’t have to slip your facial appointment because you are not invited."- Rude-Yard-8266
"How is her insulting your fiancée keeping the peace? "
"NTA."- kamdog32
"No."
"It’s your wedding."
"Tell your brother when he gets married, he will understand."
"But this event is about you."
"Not her."- Realistic_Charge_342
"NTA."
"Screw her and him."
"Both can stay home."- Own_Owl_7568
"NTA."
"She doesn't need to ruin your day, and she definitely would make your wedding about her, so you're definitely doing the right thing."
"If your brother wants, he can stay away with her and shut his trap because she was sooo out of line, and immature, and I would not want her anywhere near me, either."- sideways_apples
"NTA."
"Tell your mother that he can keep quiet and keep the peace."- Bubbly_Following7930
"First ask your mom if she hates you & fiancée, why else would she want to create bad feelings and spoil your wedding?"- BobTheCosmonaut
"Why are people like this?"- Archolm
"'Why would she want her tired-looking face in my wedding photos?'"
"'I'm doing her the favor she asked for."- Constant-Wanderer
Based on everything the girlfriend of the OP's brother was bold enough to say right in front of the OP and his fiancée, it's hard to imagine she would be hurt by being excluded.
After all, would someone with such high and mighty standards want to be caught dead at a "cheap and pointless" event like this?
Hopefully, she'll enjoy her facial.
u/Rosi_ana/Reddit
u/Rosi_ana/Reddit
