If there is any consistent reason any relationship doesn't work out, it is usually a matter of compatibility.
What often takes people by surprise is noticing you aren't compatible with another individual.
More often than not, it can be clear within minutes of meeting someone that there is no future.
In many instances, however, this might not become clear to someone until years into a relationship.
Redditor throuwwwawayyy12 was once in a nearly year-long relationship with a man.
What ultimately ended their relationship was some surprising behavior from the original poster (OP)'s ex.
Almost a decade later, however, the OP's ex, as well as a number of their mutual friends, still feels her dumping him was not merited.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH).
"Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked Fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for breaking up with a boyfriend (m33) over an unfunny prank?"
The OP explained why they ultimately decided that breaking up with their ex-boyfriend was the only possible choice:
"Okay so, I (33 F[emale]) dated John (33 M[ale]) about 8 years ago, so we were 25ish."
"It was almost a year-long relationship, 10 months or so."
"A week ago was the first time I've seen John since, because we were both at a friend's party who was celebrating that friend becoming a father."
"John got SUPER drunk and decided to tell anyone who would listen the story of how we broke up."
"After hearing it, mostly men were telling me I completely overreacted."
"Here's the story that started our breakup."
"John was staying at my place that night."
"I woke up and it was Saturday morning."
"I went downstairs to make a coffee."
"I heard him having a shower upstairs, and he came down dressed and ready to go to work."
"I figured out he got confused and thought it was a work day."
"I didn't say anything until he was putting his shoes on."
"I was repeatedly asking him, 'So what day is it?'"
"Until he got a bit mad, looked at his smartwatch and saw it was Saturday."
"He was quite mad at me and said it was a bad prank and he would 'pay me back'."
"The next day we were apart, and he texts me 'We need to talk. I'm so sorry, I got another girl pregnant' to which I replied something along the lines of: if this is your attempt at a payback prank, consider it failed."
"After that, John doubled, tripled, and quadrupled down on it."
"He swore to everything he holds dear that it was true and even sent me a clearly fake ultrasound picture."
"I kept telling him: 'dude, I don't believe you, stop, you're making this incredibly weird'."
"He did not back down."
"After a full day of convincing me in vain, I was so weirded out that I told him, 'well ok, if you're having a baby with a mystery lady, then we need to break up'."
"And he was like:'HAHAHAHA MY PRANK WORKED! BOOM! PRANKED!!!'"
"After this incident, I was too weirded out by him; we broke up a few days later, with him being completely unwilling to acknowledge he took it too far and framing it as 'I just needed some more convincing to fall for it'."
"8 years later, he's clearly still hurt about it because he was telling everyone and basically doing a 'poll' on who was wrong."
"Some people were coming up to me and telling me it was just a joke."
"So AITAH for breaking up with the guy over a bad prank?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP did the right thing in breaking up with John.
Everyone agreed that ultimately, the OP knew what was best for her, and she knew that staying with John would not serve her down the line, with many others urging her to also consider severing ties with anyone who felt she shouldn't have broken up with John:
"NTA."
"John is such a loser."- Virtuous_Malevolence
"NTA."
"You didn't break up with him because you were so hurt by the prank and you wouldn't be able to get over the pain."
"You broke up with him because you realized things about his personality that made you not like him anymore."
"And those things were very valid."
"First of all, he got mad at you for 'pranking him' when he got the day wrong and you just didn't say something right away."
"He got so mad that he felt a need for revenge."
"These two things would already be enough for me to reconsider the relationship."
"Then you learned he has a terrible sense of humor and is kinda dumb (the joke was executed super poorly and also, cheating isn't funny)."
"Lastly, he acted out a weird obsession with being able to fool you and then saying he had fooled you when he clearly hadn't."
"So."
"Gets mad over nothing."
"Needs to get revenge."
"Not at all funny."
"Obsessively needs to outsmart you (without being close to smart)."
"Those are just things you shouldn't want in a spouse."
"I'd dumb that spouse too."- purplezebrasandcats
"If a bunch of 30-year-olds still think that's an ok prank or just a joke, then you need to move on from these friends."
"NTA."- mocha_lattes_
"8 years and John still hasn't grown up, yikes."
"NTA, I'd have broken up with him the first text regardless of the joke, cheating's not really funny."- Life-Consequence2821
"NTA."
"It wasn’t a prank though."
"It was a stupid childish lie to try and make you upset."
"You didn’t break up with him over a joke; you broke up with him because how could anyone want to be with such a big baby?"
"The way he is behaving years later shows you made 100% the right choice."- Clean_Permit_3791NTA.
"He sounds incredibly immature."
"Also, you can break up with anyone for any reason that you like and you need neither reason nor justification."
"It’s been eight years."
"If he’s at a party and actually POLLING guests/mutual friends about whether you were in the wrong, he needs major help."
"Sounds like you were lucky to get out when you did."
"Once again, NTA."- kentdrive
"How is him being confused about What day is it is and you asking him what day it is a prank?"
"Is he insinuating that you were trying to prank him when he was confused?"
"NTA."
"That dude is an absolute fucking moron."
"Trying to get his SO to believe he impregnated a woman is neither funny or smart."
"He’s upset about it because he can’t comprehend or has the emotional intelligence to understand that he’s just not funny."
"I would honestly not wanna be near those people that apparently think you over reacted."- WhatTheActualFck1
"Eight years later, he's even less mature than when you broke up."
"NTA. I'd boot him from my life and sell the horse he rode in on to a glue factory."- DynkoFromTheNorth
"I think his behavior last week validated your decision."
"Not that it needed validating."
"NTA."- Life_Temperature2506
"NTA."
"It wasn't because of a prank."
"His prank didn't work."
"You broke up with him because he is weirdly obsessive and has to win."
"The poll proves he hasn't changed."- DevelopmentExciting6
"NTA."
"And there is something seriously wrong with this guy so you dodged a bullet."
"You mean to say that in the past 8 years his love life has been so non-existent that he is still whinging about y'alls breakup?"- starrynezz
"John: Honey I knocked up some chick."
"You: Whatevs."
"John: No really...I cheated on you!"
"You: I know you're lying so just stop."
"John: Nuh uh...I cheated on you and here's the ultrasound to prove it!"
"You: Ok...you cheated and have a baby on the way so I'm dumping you."
"John et all: OMG YOU SO TOTALLY OVERREACTED!!!!!"
"Yeah, John's an absolute loser and so are any of these friends who think that a cheating/baby mama situation was somehow ok and acceptable...?"
"LOL."
"Sounds like you dodged a bullet when you dumped his sorry a**."- Prize_Sorbet3366
"NTA, but the thing everyone is confused about is that you broke up with him for the weirdo he is, not for the pregnant prank ( which could also be just deal breaker for some people )."
"Something I really do not understand is why did he have to get back at you since you never pranked him in the first place it was just him mistaking the day?"- TaLilFrog
Beyond the fact that John pranked the OP in a way that wasn't funny at all, it's even more suspicious how intent he was on seeking revenge on the OP.
When she did nothing except point out his own mistake.
It's hard to disagree with those who all say that any of the OP's so-called "friends" who felt she was wrong for breaking up with John are, in fact, her friends.
