Redditor Called Out By Mother-In-Law For Keeping Lactose Intolerance Chocolates Where Kids Can Get Them

Getting along with in-laws is not always an easy task.

This can be an especially trying issue when one is living in their house.

Oftentimes, there are demands they expect to be met.

And when a person pushes back, it doesn't always go over well.

Redditor SubstantialAide379 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for leaving lactose intolerance chocolates in the pantry?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"For background, I live with my fiancé and his parents currently."

"I am sensitive to certain types of dairy, so I bought the HappyCow (I think that’s what they are) lactose chocolates."

"They look like big M&M's and taste like them."

"When I got them, I checked the back to see what was in it that helps, and apparently it’s a lactose enzyme, no other medication or anything of the sort."

"I put them in the pantry, not thinking much of it."

"Today, my M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] saw them and told me I had to put them in the bathroom drawer instead."

"I asked why, and she said that when her grandchildren come over, they could get into them and get hurt."

"For further background, her grandkids are age 8 (high on the autism spectrum and will barely touch anything but a chicken tender), age 10, and age 14."

"Even when I do leave chocolate or candy, the kids always ask before they grab."

"I tried to respectfully explain that the lactose enzyme will not hurt them, and especially not in that amount (there’s less than 10 in the packet)."

"I study biomedical science and have learned extensively about lactose enzymes."

"She and my fiancé got upset because I argued back when I was really just trying to explain that there was no harmful medicine in there."

"I also said that if I put them somewhere else, I was less likely to remember them, to which she called me selfish."

"If I didn’t think they were safe, I would not put them where kids could reach them, but she disagreed and compared it to leaving cold medicine out on the counter."

"To clear up any confusion, I worded this poorly."

"The chocolates are lactase chocolates, meaning they contain an enzyme for people with lactose intolerance to help us better digest dairy before a meal."

"Not dairy-free candies."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So... AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.

"NTA. Comparing a lactase enzyme to cold medicine is like comparing apple juice to whiskey."

"You study biomedical science; you know that lactase is just an enzyme the body naturally produces (or fails to produce, in your case)."

"If the kids ate the whole bag, the worst thing that would happen is... absolutely nothing."

"Your MIL’s and fiancé’s reaction is pure paranoia fueled by a refusal to listen to actual science."

"Calling you 'selfish' for keeping food in a pantry is a massive overreach." ~ PeachJournal

"I would lose so much respect for someone who ignored my expertise and real-world information like that. It's delusional and incredibly disrespectful."

"This sounds like the beginning of the end." ~ rora_borealis

"OP, please don't ignore the fact that they got upset with you for 'arguing back.'"

"You were expected to obey without response."

"This is what you need to pay attention to."

"This will become your future if you marry into this family." ~ UnreasonableWish8115

"NTA, but proceed with caution... do you want this to be your future?"

"Forever?"

"Because they are showing you who they are right now." ~ SystemofMany1331

"Exactly what I thought... like, if I were OP I'd be reevaluating everything based on the way the fiancé just took their mother's idiotic approach without even understanding what the heck this item was."

"And also thinking that trying to explain it was somehow 'arguing back'... like imagine their future conversations when they disagree on something and he pulls another stunt like this, but about I don't know what they're teaching their own children? Icky."

"NTA but OP should seriously wonder whether they're okay with being patronized by their fiancé as well as their MIL for the rest of their relationship." ~ Lyne_s

"You are in her house, but she doesn’t sound very understanding."

"The fact that your boyfriend immediately ganged up on you with her shows you what you have to look forward to in the future if you marry him."

"I would ask him why he would not at least hear you out before joining his mother in scolding you." ~ TasteReasonable458

"NTA. It's an enzyme the body naturally produces, or not, for some of us (me included)."

"Your fiancé and family are being ridiculous and anti-science."

"They aren't respecting your area of study or your word."

"Take heed now; your fiancé WILL back his mother over you even in an area of your expertise."

"Red flag." ~ Tynelia23

"These comments are weird, sure its their home, but you're their guest, and they shouldn’t make you feel so unwelcome in my opinion, though if I’m being honest, I don’t think the problem is the chocolate, the problem is how the situation played out, it seemed like your boyfriend and his family had no respect for you, and that’s really sad. NTA." ~ Myboneshurt420helps

"NTA, but let's further break this down- you're fiancé, I assume, knows that you're lactose intolerant and needs this medicine to eat most things (I am also lactose intolerant), he heard the disagreement on where it should be kept, and rather than help assuage his mom's concerns, he helps reprimand you because you 'argued back.'"

"This will prob be your life if you stay with this man."

"I'm not one to say gtfo, but I'd be very curious as to why he felt the need to help his mom gang up on you, given he should know it's harmless medicine, especially with your background."

"If anything, he should have had a unified front with you, and then talked with you about the matter privately when his mom was gone."

Taking her side against you so quickly, infant of her and without understanding, does not bode well for the future of your relationship."

"I'd want to have a serious discussion about this with my partner if this were me, especially if we weren't married yet." ~ Karava

"NTA, but I would seriously be reconsidering marrying into this family."

"Like, g**damn, PLEASE have enough self-respect to walk away from a guy who will let his mommy browbeat you like this."

"If he'll kowtow over something this pathetically minor, he'll definitely let her steamroll you over MAJOR things, and you'll find yourself taking a backseat to her every single time." ~ Pantherdraws

"NTA. It's more of a health risk to ask you to store FOOD in the BATHROOM than for a kid to steal your (likely expensive) enzyme chocolates."

"That said, I don't want kids taking my stuff, so I'd probably hide them in my room."

"Certainly not the bathroom."

"But comparing it to cold meds is unhinged."

"Just put them in your room, problem solved, and no nasty bathroom food storage." ~ Macaroni-inna-pot

"NTA. She's sick of having a long-term guest, so what you do annoys her."

"Move out."

"You're not married, so it's fine to get an apartment of your own."

"Or ask your betrothed to join you."

"You didn't do anything dangerous, but she didn't want you to explain it."

"She's sick of having you there."

"The fact that your boyfriend backed her is very worrisome."

"Talk to him about it and really listen."

"He might put you second to his mother for the rest of your lives, so find out now before you are married." ~ Spare_Ad5009

"NTA and consider how this is going to go when these are YOUR children, and you’re arguing against your spouse who sides with your MIL."

"Like seriously, think long and hard about that."

"Because I divorced 6 years ago after being sick of dealing with an anti-science conspiracy theorist who didn’t show the full extent until after we had my son, and every logical, scientifically proven health intervention became a fight."

"My son is 11, and I’m still having to fight him on basic vaccines thanks to all the junk science out there." ~ SJane3384

"So by your fiancé and his mother's 'logic,' if you purchased milk with a lactase enzyme in it, such as Lactaid, you would also have to store it in the bathroom so the little people couldn't access it? Understood."

"Your MIL is a problem, your fiancé is a bigger problem."

"Do you really want to be with a mama's boy that won't stand up for you?"

"Think very carefully about marrying this man, because he loves his mommy more than he loves and respects you."

"NTA." ~ shattered7done1

"Your NTA, but there's an elephant in the room, and it isn't the lactase."

"What's your fiancé getting upset with you for arguing with the MIL?"

"Even if you were arguing, they're your fiancée."

"Seems there's a separate conversation that probably needs to happen between the two of you without MIL present because this is setting the tone for MIL dictating how things go in your household and fiancé expecting you'll fall in line."

"If that's how you want your relationship to go, by all means carry on." ~ Hinote21

"NTA, you did explain that those things are not harmful for kids, and also if those kids ask before taking, then it's no problem at all, as they would not take it when refused."

"I believe that your MIL and fiancé are being totally unreasonable." ~ Jolly-Ad-9488

Reddit agrees with you, OP.

Your MIL is seriously going over the top.

Why would the kids just spend their time rummaging through the pantry?

However, it's not your house, so compromise may be in order.

Good Luck.