Many people have quirky traditions within their families or friend groups.
Traditions and customs that others might find strange, but bring those who celebrate them joy.
Even if they can't help but raise their eyebrows on occasion, most people simply let these traditions live.
Others can't help but judge, and are unable to keep their mouths closed.
Redditor Visual-Particular-86's family had a tradition that brought everyone joy.
A tradition that caught the ears of a fellow mother.
Unfortunately, this mother found nothing sweet or cute about this tradition the original poster (OP) celebrated with her family.
And wasn't afraid to say so.
Worried she might have been out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here?" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for giving my car a 'racist' name?"
The OP explained how what she thought was a sweet family tradition turned unexpectedly sour:
"My little family has a tradition of naming our cars."
"Our last one was a Toyota Yaris, and the first thing my best friend said when he saw it was.'It looks like a turtle!'"
"Naturally, we named it Yurtle."
"Three years ago we got a Toyota RAV4."
"Carrying on the tradition, we named it Ravi."
"It was an obvious play on 'RAV', and it was fun and easy for our then 2 year old."
"I never gave it a second thought."
"But today, while picking my daughter up from summer camp, she asked, 'Mom, did you bring Ravi?'"
"Another mom overheard and asked, 'Oh, who's Ravi?'"
"I said, 'Our car', but didn't elaborate because I was busy gathering my daughter's things."
"She kind of scrunched up her face and said, 'Well... that's a choice'."
"I laughed awkwardly and said something like, 'Yeah, we have a weird family tradition of naming our cars'."
"She replied, 'No, I meant calling it Ravi. As a privileged white person, I'd be embarrassed to tell people that'."
"I was honestly so caught off guard that I just finished packing up and left."
"Now it's been rattling around in my head."
"For context, my husband, daughter, and I are all white."
"The other mom was white as well. We live in a suburb of a large Canadian city."
"The area is still majority white, but there are plenty of families from many different cultural backgrounds."
"I genuinely value living in a diverse community and want to teach my daughter to respect and appreciate people from all cultures."
"I completely understand that Ravi is a very common South Asian name."
"But when we chose it, we were honestly just looking for a cute nickname based on 'RAV4'."
"We've been calling the car Ravi for three years, and this is the first time anyone has ever reacted negatively."
"If this is genuinely disrespectful, I absolutely want to know and we'll stop using it."
"I'm just not convinced by one strangers reaction."
"I'd especially love to hear from people from cultures where Ravi is a common name (or, even better, from anyone actually named Ravi!)"
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Everyone agreed, that the OP did nothing wrong by naming her car "Ravi".
Everyone agreed that it was the judgmental mother who should feel embarrassed for speaking to the OP the way she did, as it's hardly a new sensation to name a child, or a car, a name from outside one's culture:
"Tell her it’s short for ravioli."- PomegranateZanzibar
"NTA."
"This is performative self righteousness."- LordFarquaadsArse
"NTA."
"I'm Indian, and would not be offended at all if I heard you call your car that."
"Also, the correct pronunciation of the Indian name Ravi is 'Ruhvee' - an 'a' letter in any South Asian language is pronounced as a 'uh' sound, not 'aah' or 'aw' (ie. Jagmeet Singh = Jugmeet, not Jaagmeet)."
"So if I heard someone say Ravi as a play on a RAV4, I wouldn't even think you're trying to actually say the name Ravi."
"Ignore this dumb person, and also stay away from them."
"They seem quite judgey."- IAmMichaelBurnham
"We as a family collective call my RAV4 Ravi Rolli."
"It’s a play on words."
"I’m sorry you had such a negative experience."
"Unfortunate that the person you encountered didn’t have anything better to do than to put you down."
"NTA."- AnneLavelle
"NTA."
"It’s not racist."
"It was a play on words."
"Also, what a trashy way to tell you LOL."
"Didn’t even provide you with details on why it was a 'choice'."- carsen_goat
"As an Indian…I see no issue with this."- anotherbabydaddy
"Oh please, people need to get a grip."
"Ravi makes sense."- Popular_Scarcity_911
"Thought you named you're car General Lee or something similar from the title."- PreviousZone6742
"Why would Ravi be racist?"- pokemontrainersensha
"This is an example of someone being too woke."
"You are not using the name in an offensive or derogatory way."
"NTA."- brettbretters
"Tell her it's okay because you have Indian friends."
"NTA."- Mysterious_Truth
"These people used to be called Holier Than Thous, the ones who were ever so much more spiritual than you."
"How nice they have found another niche."- Teamtunafish
"If you’re an AH, then I am too."
"Also have a Rav4, and I also call it Ravi for short."
"Its actual name is Wilson."
"I too am white."
"So I’m gonna come back and check the comments."- WishingDandelions
"Performative wokeness is also a choice."- Equal_Maintenance870
"I'm a POC, not related to the name Ravi or the culture it comes from, but I wouldn't put too much thought into what this person said."
"Def hear from Redditors who are named Ravi or share the culture to see what they have to say, but I don't think it's that serious."
"Unfortunately, some white people I know tend to try and be sooo correct, that they end up being too much."
"An example is correcting someone that used the term black to refer to someone."
"Usually, the correction they give is to say 'the correct term is African American'...but it's not."
"There are black people in other cultures as well."
"Anyways, thanks for caring."- DCleide
"Don’t want to be the a**hole her but my take on this is:"
"As a privileged white person she used her privilege to make you feel awkward about something that was a word abbreviation because her mind made a racist connection about it."
"She is the a**hole here."
"And the subconscious racist who needs to make other people feel awkward to make herself feel better."
"You have a kid in school so you don’t want to be the a**hole who tells her what an asshole she truly is."
"But you also don’t have to worry that you are the a**hole here."- Jaded-Form-8236
"As an Indian with a RAV4 - I’m annoyed I dint think of it."- UnrealKP24
"No, but man would I have become an a**hole as soon as she said that to me."- mapoftasmania
"I have named cars all my life."
"My latest car is Fred."- Nuasus
"Just play nothing but Ravi Shankar in your whip."- back-in-the-highlife
"My name's Ravi."
"Thank you for naming the car after me...!"- BerlinSam
"NTA."
"I’m South Asian, the woman who took issue with you naming your car Ravi probably takes issue with a lot of things throughout her day."
"She’s the ‘offended on other people’s behalf’ white savior nobody asked for."- Letgomypurse_856
"In this area, it is not an issue and I would not bat an eyelid."- Silent-Passenger-208
"I don't get it."
"How is Ravi/Ravy/Rav-V racist?"
"Suzuki Ravi is an actual truck (a tiny truck, its real cute!)."- Wide-Chemistry-8078
"How can this even be considered racism?"
"A racist slur to a person’s face is racism."
"Calling your car by a male name (even an Indian name) cannot be classed as racism."
"Tell Karen to take a hike."
"My kid bro goes to an international school."
"He has an Indian friend called Ravi."
"My kid bro just told Ravi about your car."
"He laughed."
"If anything it’s your car I feel sorry for."
"How do you think your car feels?"
"Japanese with the name Ravi."- TommyYiu
"WOOOOW."
"Unprompted and obnoxious!"
"NTA."- hidingunderyourbed
"Sometimes other people are crazy."- Less-Assistance-7575
"Wow."
"She just made that sh*t up."
"NTA."- MarionberryOk2874
"NTA."
"That woman is looking for a reason to be offended."
"Carry on."- Vampira309
Had the OP given her car a racial slur or derogatory term, then everyone, not only this anonymous mother, should have called her out.
Seeing as that wasn't the case, one has to wonder why this mother felt it was even necessary to make the remark she did.
Ironically, this was a telling sign of her privilege as well...
