Planning a vacation with family isn’t always easy.
The ordeal can often take the fun out of the whole relaxing idea.
Things can get especially dramatic when it’s a getaway on a budget.
And when the guest list starts to grow from adults to kids to pets… that’s when the chaos really gets going.
Redditor Apprehensive_Tip2725 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for canceling on husband’s family vacation?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] (41) booked a 3-bedroom Airbnb for the end of summer break and invited my husband (36) and I (34) to join.”
“We agreed to pay for the half of the Airbnb after she showed us pictures, etc. “
“We asked questions and all seemed clear.”
“We figured she’d probably be inviting her boyfriend and when we asked about the need for 3 bedrooms, she just said it was all that was available.”
“Hey, whatever, right?”
“Then, a few days later her boyfriend comes over for dinner with her and lets slip two other details previously left off.”
“One was that his 6-year-old daughter would be coming.”
“We actually didn’t care about this at all.”
“We have met her and she’s adorable.”
“Then, however, he mentioned detail number 2: the third bedroom is actually just a small office space they threw bunk beds in and they planned on having my husband and I stay in it.”
“We giggled and asked why we would take bunk beds when there were two bedrooms with queen mattresses.”
“Apparently, because they wanted to give their 6-year-old her own room and the closest one to their master suite was the other queen room.”
“My husband and I were quiet and said nothing.”
“It was obvious we were unhappy.”
“SIL explained their reasoning and just said it wasn’t a big deal.”
“Well, we mulled it over and decided it made no sense to pay half the Airbnb cost for the room we were getting, let alone for the fact that we were staying in 1/3 occupied rooms.”
“So we respectfully asked her to cancel, which it’s early enough to still do, and even offered up the cancelation fee if for some reason they were still charged.”
“SIL is now angry and saying we are ruining the 6-year-olds vacation.”
“I don’t feel we are wrong.”
“This is actually not the first time she’s done something like this.”
“My husband is kind of fluctuating back and forth on whether we should just suck it up, but I’m still unhappy with the arrangements.”
“The last bit I’ll add is significantly smaller. “
“We both are pet owners.”
“She has 2 large dogs and a small dog; we have 2 small dogs.”
“Everyone said they were boarding the dogs.”
“It is expensive to do so in Florida where we live.”
“The boyfriend let slip they plan to bring their small dog along though as the boarding costs are crazy for them since it’s only 2 dogs per kennel.”
“I suppose I’m just feeling like the costs are mounting for us and the expectations are that we will suck it up and go along with every little demand, while they bend rule after rule in their favor.”
“Should I suck it up?”
“Am I just being a witch?”
“We normally get along so well.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“A room with bunk beds is literally made for children!”
“She’s being absolutely insane about this, it’s not like the kid is 4 months old!”
“She’s not even a toddler that might need them in the middle of the night.”
“She’s old enough to be in school, she’s old enough to be in the kid’s room!”
“They absolutely got a three-bedroom rental because they wanted her to have her own room and they absolutely didn’t tell you because they wanted you to pay for half of the child’s room!”
‘That’s pretty messed up and your husband is ridiculous if he thinks it’s okay to accept this!”
“You’re not messing up the child’s vacation, they are by lying to you about it!”
“Had they been honest the whole time about bringing the kid and then the dog it might be a different story.”
“Had they been fair at all with the distribution of the bedrooms it would have been a different story.”
“But they lied every step of the way just to get their way.”
“However, I think the boyfriend wanted you to know.”
“How’s he going to let all the deal breakers just accidentally slip?”
“He wanted you to know either because he wanted them to go alone, he didn’t want to go at all or he just thought it was unfair that they were treating you like this and basically using you for money on vacation.”
“NTA… don’t go and tell your husband if he wants to go with them and pay for his room and the kid’s room that he is more than welcome to and you’ll see him when he gets home!” ~ Significant_Planter
“Yes, this is more than fair.”
“If you are paying half, you get the suite, they get the other queen room and bunk beds.”
“Totally NTA for not going along with your SIL’s ridiculous plan.” ~ mocktailqueen
“This. As a frequent V[acation] R[entals] B[y] O[wner]r, my kids love bunk bed options.”
“And as for proximity to other rooms, bring a pack of night lights and make sure the common areas always have a small amount of lighting so she can find her way to mom and dad’s room if she needs to.”
“And, usually, the kid’s rooms (and adult rooms) have TVs.”
“They can watch TV and wind down while the adults do some adulting.”
“If anyone asked me to entertain a VRBO as a group and then expected my wife and I to sleep in bunkbeds… they can F right off. NTA.” ~ mvbighead
“Right??? NTA. Ugh, I hate when people do this crap.”
“I’ll commiserate with a similar story.”
“My B[rother]-I[n]-L[aw] tried to do this to me and my husband as well.”
“We were ostensibly going to share an Airbnb between me, my husband, my sister, BIL, and their three kids.”
“When we booked a two bedroom with a cot and a sofa with a pullout bed we assumed that each couple would get a bedroom and the kids would take the living room pullout bed.”
“WELL NO, my BIL said the kids NEEDED a door in their room or they couldn’t sleep, so my husband and I needed to take the living room.”
“When I asked why HE couldn’t take the living room, it’s because well he has a bad back and can’t sleep on a crap sofa bed.”
“I told him I was absolutely not doing that.”
“He then sent us an Airbnb with three separate bedrooms which I was agreeable to, until I checked the numbers against what he said we owed him and I realized he had split the cost per night evenly in half.”
“When I suggested we pay proportional to the number of rooms we’re getting he accused me of being unreasonable because ‘it’s not like the kids can pay for their own rooms.'”
“Needless to say I told him to figure his own s**t out, made my own arrangements, and from that day on never planned any travel with them ever again.” ~ theamazingloki
“He’s probably thinking that outing the things that OP and S[ignificant] O[ther] have been misled on prior to the trip will stop drama occurring when they get to the AirBnB and you find out about sleeping arrangements plus the dog.”
“It’s not going to be a fun trip due to it being based on some significant lies or information ‘omissions’ on the part of SIL.”
“Hold your ground stating that you won’t be coming because SIL was not honest with you.”
“Knowing that If she had been honest, then you wouldn’t have agreed to the arrangements (she knows this which is why she has lied and is trying to manipulate you).”
“As some other commentators have mentioned, there are probably some more ‘omissions’ on SIL’s part like babysitting and dog sitting expectations, that you guys will fund half of everything, even though there are only 2 of you and 4 of them (including the dog).”
“Say we’ve changed our minds solely because SIL was not upfront and honest about the arrangements.”
“Next time please be honest with us so we can decide based on the truth.”
“Then put your money towards something that you and your SO love doing or save it for a future getaway that you’ll actually enjoy. NTA.” ~ Iworkinacupboard
“NTA. So you pay half and you get bunk beds and their dog(a) can come but you’re boarding yours?”
“It sounds like you’re subsidizing their vacation.”
“If they don’t recognize that they’re being ridiculous and taking advantage, I wouldn’t care how pissed they are because I’m canceling.”
“It was nice of you to agree to pay any cancellation fee.”
“If she does cancel, I’d ask to see the invoice or page for the cost of the cancellation because, at this point, I think they have no issue taking advantage and might even lie about the cancellation fee amount!”
“The six-year-old is fine in a bunk bed. If not, they can take the bunk mattress and put it on the floor in their bedroom. Easy peasy.”
“We slept on the ground on many family vacations.”
“Expecting you two to pay 50% and have to take a bunk bed is absolutely ridiculous.” ~ archetyping101
“NTA. Tell SIL that you will pay half of the Airbnb if you get 2 bedrooms with queen-size beds and bring your two small dogs.”
“SIL can have the bunk beds and fill them with any guests and animals she wants.”
“Then ask her how fair that sounds to her, and point out it is a better deal than she is proposing to you.” ~ WantToBelieveInMagic
“NTA. They deliberately withheld pertinent details they knew would impact your willingness to split the bill.”
“Your SIL wanted your $$$ to fund HER vacation.”
“She’s mad she got caught.”
“I wouldn’t let her take the lead planning any future events with you either.” ~ Katerh
“NTA. If you backing out means a child’s vacation is ruined, that’s them admitting they were counting on you to subsidize their trip.” ~ OkeyDokey654
OP came back with an Update…
“Wow, this blew up! Thank you for making me feel like I’m not crazy.”
“Funny enough, as I’ve scrolled through and read countless comments and replies, I don’t think I’ve seen a single post that wasn’t NTA.”
“Every single reply just says SIL is out of her mind.”
“Thank you all so much.”
“I canceled and got the receipts from her.”
“Husband is luckily on my side, even if he feels a little bad for the little girl.”
“Even he knows this was a load of bull.”
Well, OP, it’s nice to hear that this worked out for you.
Well, worked out as best it could.
As you said, you can see Reddit was staunchly in your favor.
Maybe show all of this to SIL.
Sounds like she could learn a thing or two.