On today’s episode of “Bridezilla or not” we present the bride’s future sister-in-law and Redditor -TerrificTerror-.
The Original Poster (OP) has taken on host of the wedding at her dream home in Colorado, amongst other responsibilities.
However, the bride is not happy with all of the arrangements and some very real tension has broken out between the two women.
This tension drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“WIBTA for cancelling my brothers wedding.”
She went on to explain:
“I, [female age 31], have a brother, [Male age 28], who is hoping to get married to his fiancé, [Female age 25].”
“They have been in a relationship for a long time, have kids and a house together, so she isn’t someone who’s new to the family.”
“We’re all European, but I own a gorgeous house in Colorado, it is in the middle of the mountains, surrounded by forests, has huge windows looking out on my acres surrounding…”
“It truly is stunning and a dream come true. A couple of months ago my brother came to me and asked me if they could use my house for a destination wedding.”
“While I was hesitant to host a god d*mn wedding in the house of my dreams, I can absolutely understand how my dreamhome is her dream venue.”
“I told him they absolutely could, but had some rules (despite me not living there).”
“1. No more than 25 guests. It truly is in the middle of nowhere so guests would have to sleep at the house and I simply do not have room for more.”
“2. Nothing that permanently alters anything in or around the house.”
“3. No smoking indoors”
“4. Any damage done by them or the!r guests would have to be paid for.”
“Since i’m quite protective of the house I offered to decorate and find a caterer, and that ‘d be my gift to them. So, i’m providing them with a venue, food and decorations.”
“I am currently almost 10k into my ‘gift’, because it’s my brother’s wedding and it’s what I wanted to do.”
“Now, sh*t has hit the fan. His fiancé decided she needed at least 45 guests.”
“While I was willing to be flexible by one or two, but 20? Nah. I asked her if she wanted to stack them and she got salty.”
“On top of that she wants me to pay to fly her family in, because I fronted the money to my other brother (he is paying me back) because he couldn’t afford a ticket.”
“I told her no, and again I got sassed.”
“On top of that she wants me to build a pergola (which I actually considered), paint my livingroom (cover up the beautiful wood, so f*ck no) and also pay for the drinks.”
“I said no, i’ve done enough. She has now taken it upon herself to tell people i’m coming back on my promises…”
“…that I left her hanging, that she can’t afford the super expensive wedding I ‘made’ her plan and even went as far as to uninvite my grandparents, just to spite me…”
“…(her word were ‘you wanted me to cut back on guests so i’m picking your family’) . I’m getting at least two messages a day asking me why i’m ruining her day, if i’m jealous…”
“Today, she called me to tell me that if I keep going out of my way to make her miserable, I and my ‘rescues’ (two of my children are adopted) would not be invited either.”
“While I find it absurd that she thinks she can uninvite me from my own house, the fact that she referred to my kids as ‘rescues’ has me absolutely fuming.”
“I am considering cancelling the whole thing, but but be royally f*cking over my brother in the process, who has done nothing wrong.”
“So, is her sh*tshow overshadowing my need to protect my brother from a giant financial hole? I don’t know.”
“EDIT TO ADD: I do not live in CO. We all live in our homecountry in Europe.”
“WIBTA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA”
“‘Today, she called me to tell me that if I keep going out of my way to make her miserable, I and my “rescues” (two of my children are adopted) would not be invited either.'”
“You’re a calmer person than I am that you didn’t tell her the thing was off then and there.”
“Someone who said that to me about my kids wouldn’t be family to me anymore, let alone someone I’d consider hosting a wedding for.” – rdent-gleaner
“I am sorry, but ‘My brother has done nothing wrong’, are you joking me? 🤣”
“He hasn’t stood up to her, has allowed her to disrespect you, and he hasn’t done anything to stop her publicly lying about your character – doing nothing is very much being complicit in this case.”
“But you need to put yourself and your children first here. Your brother is putting his fiancé first, so you need to show the same respect to your children and cancel this sh*t show.”
“You will be doing your brother a favour. You also need to set people straight on what she is like. NTA” – Rainbowbright31
“Their brother has done quite a lot wrong, including planning a destination wedding he can’t afford in the slightest. A 10k present from the sibling when the groom can’t even afford his own plane ticket?”
“He will pay it back? With what money? After the wedding, they’ll try for kids, and God knows money will be even tighter then. “
“I understand ‘dreams’, but if you’re not rich, then you can’t plan something like that as if you are. That’s life.”
“There are dream wedding venues all over Europe and certainly in your home country too. They should pick one of those.”
“As a working-class person, I’ve never understood destination weddings. Seems so selfish to me to expect so much from your wedding guests. (Spend all the Money plus the vacation days etc).”
“NTA of course. Be even more protective of that house. You have every right to.” – blue_furred_unicorn
“NTA. You went out of your way to help her and your brother. And she is still wanting more.”
“Even if you agreed upon the extra things that she asked for, I think she would still ask for more. And there would be no end to that. Good for you for setting up boundaries.”
“She seems very unreasonable, selfish, and out of touch. And calling your kids ‘rescues’ is out of the line and just shows you what kind of person she really is.”
“If they don’t have money for the destination wedding, then they shouldn’t plan one in the first place.” – npctrucker
“Ok your brother has done plenty of things wrong here! He knows what the rules are and he agreed to them and he is doing nothing about her demands to break those rules.”
“If she uninvited your grandparents, you need to remember he is allowing that. ALL of her demands – he not stopping it.”
“My suggestion is not to cancel it, but put your rules on paper and have both of them sign it.”
“You need it in writing so that when something going wrong you have a contract because he’s not going to stand up to her and make sure nothing goes wrong.”
“You MUST be there so that you can put a stop to anything that breaks the rules. And be prepared to turn people away.”
“But don’t call it off, just enforce the rules. Ask her to email you instead of calling three times a day. Then you have that in writing too.”
“Explain to your brother that you just don’t have time for several calls a day but that you will make sure and check your email after dinner each day (or pick another time, but make it once a day.”
“Then stop responding to her calls or texts, that will save your sanity somewhat.”
“I don’t understand why your brother thinks this is the person he wants to spend forever with, but that’s his choice.” – JeanoMacko
“NTA not even a bit. I would rescind the offer. Her entitlement and attitude is quite disgusting. What is it with some women that the wedding can bring the worst out of them?”
“You are NOT screwing over your brother, he’s doing a pretty good job himself by marrying this woman.” – Purplefox71
“Obviously you should cancel. The bride has shown huge disrespect, and you should protect the family she calls ‘rescues’ and your property.”
“NTA. If someone disrespected my kids like that, I would not be speaking to them, let alone paying to host their wedding that has already crossed many of my boundaries.”
“Maybe you canceling the wedding will wake your brother up from his stupor.” – Squiggles567
“NTA, You say your brother has done nothing wrong, but ultimately, it’s his job to act as the bridge between his family and their soon-to-be a family unit.”
“By standing back and letting his wife try and berate and bully you, he’s implicitly supporting everything she’s doing.”
“I’d be telling her she’s uninvited from your home personally.” – Elivercury
Verdict: 100% Bridezilla