When it comes to birthday celebrations, weddings, and other major occasions, we know that we aren’t supposed to steal focus from other people.
But it seems like there’s always someone who refuses to help themselves from stealing the limelight, criticized the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor No_Kiwi_2 was furious when his brother wanted to propose to his girlfriend during his wedding but even more furious when his mother stood up for his brother doing so.
So the only reasonable thing the Original Poster (OP) and his wife could think of was to return the favor on the day that his brother got married.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for announcing our pregnancy at my brother’s wedding after he proposed at mine?”
The OP’s brother stole focus on his wedding day.
“My brother said he was going to propose at my wedding.”
“I told him no and that it was a day about myself and my wife and we did not want any distractions.”
“My mom lost her sh*t. She said that he wanted family he might not see again for a while to be a part of the proposal.”
“I said I did not give a sh*t and that if he did it, I would have him kicked out.”
“He did it. And my mom said if I tried kicking him out, she would leave, too.”
The OP and his wife were furious.
“I just remember seething inside.”
“My wife has been angry since our wedding.”
“My wife wanted to get even after we agreed to have the wedding in my home country, and her friends and family had to travel for our wedding, and he hijacked it.”
The OP decided to get revenge on his brother’s wedding day.
“My brother got married last weekend.”
“Instead of a welcome to the family toast, I used the time to announce that we were expecting our first baby.”
“My mom was upset, but my grandmother told her to sit down and shut up. We spent most of the reception talking to family we would not see again for a while about our coming baby.”
“My mom says I was an a**hole for taking attention away from my brother on his wedding day.”
“She got really mad when I reminded her that she threatened to leave my wedding if I kicked him out after he proposed.”
“I have screenshots of the text messages.”
The OP felt fair was fair.
“We literally live in another country from most of the people at the wedding. And we are trying to start a family. While we aren’t pregnant now, we plan to be very soon.”
“Most people won’t be able to do the math if our kid is a couple of months late, and we live in a different country. We won’t see 99% of the people at the wedding again.”
“One of the reasons my wife was furious was because so many guests from her side had to travel for our wedding, and he overshadowed it. We were the only guests at my brother’s wedding from where we live.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that the real problem was with his brother and mother.
“It’s blatantly obvious which one of you is the golden child. Good job to grandma for shutting Mom’s bulls**t down.”
“But your bro! He asked, you said no, he did it anyway. That’s an easy way to wind up on people’s s**t list.”
“What did his wife say when she found out he didn’t get your permission to ask? Is she an a**hole too?”
“NTA for giving back what you got.” – cthulularoo
“What kind of man/person does that to someone else? Their own brother?!”
“Answer: DEFINITELY NOT A MAN that I would consider marrying. That’s for d**ned sure.”
“What really sucks about it too, is his brother didn’t just do it to him. He did it to OP’s wife as well. This was sweet revenge for both of them. The universe definitely gave OP its blessing and the go-ahead when it made sure the timing lined up perfectly.” – CatmoCatmo
“What kind of person even says yes to a proposal at someone else’s wedding? It’s quite literally the most class-less thing anyone can do. I’d be ashamed to marry someone like that. It’s so trashy. The only thing trashier is proposing during a funeral.” – ihateddurians
“I just don’t get it.
Let’s say I propose on someone else’s big day. To my future wife, that very special day becomes a sideshow of the other. If I were the girl, I want to be the main one. Also, what if the girl rejects? No one wants to get embarrassed in front of the whole d**n family.”
“What an id**t.” – corgi-king
“YTA obviously. The correct way to do this would have been to ask his permission, get rejected, and then do it anyway.”
“That was a sarcastic comment, in case that wasn’t clear!”
“NTA obviously.”
“The brother made it very known that asking prior is nothing but a formality. Its permission doesn’t really matter, and apparently, it isn’t necessary.”
“The brother set the precedence. OP just followed his lead and matched his energy.” – 12345esther
“When my hubby was younger, he used to play a game with a couple of his buddies called ‘Payback’s a B***h.’ S**t was remembered, sometimes for weeks/months.”
“Your ‘payback’ was elegantly masterful, and I applaud you! Most definitely NTA.” – WanderLuster621
“I feel you, OP. I’ve gone through very similar experiences, and every time I (rightly) point out how differently my younger brother was treated when we were kids and still is treated now, my parents don’t even deny it.”
“They just say stuff like, ‘You’re different people so you needed different treatment,’ or ‘Everyone makes mistakes with their first child; the second is the chance to rectify them.'”
“In my experience, going low contact is the only way to heal. I wish you, your wife, and future kid or kiddos a lifetime of happiness, with or without the rest of this family… though I’d definitely let Grandma stay in the picture.” – MarmitePrinter
“Perfection!”
“Congratulations, and tell mom she can see the baby when she manages to give you a sincere apology for her actions at your wedding.” – Danivelle
“I proposed to my wife during a friend’s wedding reception. However, we were nowhere near the reception hall at the time. We had been going for long walks to avoid the condescending glares from the other people sitting at our table and to escape the interminable speeches that were just going on and on.”
“We started talking about when we get married, how if anyone walked away from our wedding hungry or bored (there was also not enough food at this reception for everyone there) that we needed a swift kick up the backside.”
“On about our third walk, my wife looked at me and said, ‘We have all but planned our wedding, but you haven’t actually asked me yet.’ (I actually planned on asking her a week later when were visiting my home state). I jumped the gun and proposed to her there in the middle of a muddy footy oval.”
“We did not tell anyone we were engaged until after the reception was over and the bride and groom had left. The only people we told were some good friends who guessed. We would never have planned to do this purposefully at a friend’s wedding. People who plan this and make it all about them are id**ts and not true friends, let alone family.” – i_identifyas_me
Others agreed and were amused by the grandmother’s role in the drama.
“Grandma’s tired of her daughter’s s**t and isn’t afraid to say so.” – Big-Rhubarb-2746
“Grandma was p**sed at the OP’s wedding when his brother announced, and then her daughter had the unmitigated gall to go at her granddaughter for doing the same thing.”
“The OP’s brother f**ked around and found out. Then the OP’s mother f**ked around and found out and got caught playing clear favorites. If I were the OP, the mom would have very limited contact with my child.” – Nodramallama18
“His grandma was the true MVP. NTA, by the way, the brother and his mother were out of line, and he did warn him not to do it, and he did it. Actions bring consequences.” – Elektra18
“Grandma is a f**king legend. Way to go OP, a funny a**hole bringing the karma back around hard and strong!!”
“I’d be reminding the OP’s mom that Grandma had been pretty clear where she needed to be on this issue. I want to know if golden boi DARED to say anything about this to you all.”
“Making a pregnancy announcement may be a**holish in regular terms, but this was Karma coming back, so DEFINITELY NTA.” – KnotYourFox
“I wondered if Grandma was from OP’s paternal side and maybe doesn’t even like OP’s mum because she’s attention-seeking who played favorites with her own children! Either way, she was awesome.” – BoredPanda13
“Classic FAFO (F**k Around and Find Out)! I am down with Grandma. I hope OP takes her out on the town for her support!”
“I would speak to the mom, though, and point out the golden child attitude… if she wants to see the grandchildren, she can shape up! So sad that this was her first reaction.” – sarcastic-pedant
The subReddit could not stop shaking their heads at this one and completely understood why the OP and his wife needed closure after their wedding.
But it seems that getting revenge may not have helped with the family dynamic, and they might need to reevaluate their relationships before inviting a baby into the fold.