Sharing is caring, or so we are taught.
In most cases, sharing is always the nice thing to do, even if you would rather not.
However, not everything needs to be, nor should be shared. No matter what other people might say or think.
Redditor Rayapt recently had more than a little bit of good luck.
As a gesture of gratitude, the original poster (OP) wanted to share some of his good luck with his parents. Much to the OP's surprise, not only did his parents expect this, but they even went so far as to tell the OP that they were entitled to more than the OP was initially willing to share.
Unfortunately for them, the OP remained firm in his offer.
Wondering if he was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for not giving my parents half of my lottery winnings?"
The OP explained why he was in a less-than-sharing mood with his parents:
"I won approximately £4M earlier this year from the Lotto."
"Currently, the money is diversified into several index funds."
"I was planning on giving them £750,000 as a thank you, but when I mentioned that as a ‘counteroffer’, they got mad and started calling me selfish."
"I’m 19 M[ale], my parents are 49 M[ale] and 47 F[emale]."
"Without going into too much detail and making this longer than necessary, I only waited around a week before I told my parents."
"They were excited and so was I, it was all going fine until they started talking about the money as if it was theirs."
"They were talking about retiring, going on holiday, buying a boat and a new car, traveling the world, etc."
"I asked them how much they expected to have, stone cold face, they said half."
"I understand that with giving half, having £2M left is already enough, but why should they be entitled to that?"
"I know they’re my parents and we’ve had a great relationship."
"To me, £750,000 seems like it’s enough as they already have their own savings and a paid off mortgage."
"So, am I the a**hole for refusing to give my parents half of my winnings?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to share his lottery winnings with his parents.
Everyone agreed that it was generous to even think of giving his parents any portion of his lottery winnings, with others pointing out how both his parents demonstrated zero financial responsibility:
"NTA, and stop with counteroffers immediately!"
"I cant stress enough how much you should not give them a penny right now."
"You need to sit with a financial advisor and speak about your goals in life and how this windfall can help you achieve them."
"This is a conversation that will take months, not minutes."
"The moment you open your wallet, then everyone and their uncle is going to have a hand out."
"Read about winners of the past, and how it can ruin lives, any gifting should be a ways down the road when you have a rock solid plan which accounts for it."- Kind-Philosopher1
"NTA."
"If my kid won 4m or anything i wouldn't expect any of it."
"If they offered me 750k I would probably cry my little heart out and be grateful as hell."
"You do what you want and do not tell anyone else."
"People get crazy with the sob stories and will try their best at guilt tripping you."
"Also...Congratulations!"- Dizzy-Importance-827
"NTA, and honestly, with the way they are planning on spending money, maybe their gift should be in a trust or annuity-based before they blow through it and come begging for more."- EvenKaleidoscope7285
"NTA."
"With what they want to buy, they would blow through 2 million in less than a year."- Nonnie0224
"I would talk to an estate attorney."
"There are probably ways to give your parents a 'salary' over time as opposed to one lump sum."
"An attorney would know best."
"My concern about giving anyone that type of money is, what if they burn through it?"
"Are they going to want more?"
"NTA."- scooby946
"NTA you’re an adult."
"You’re winning lottery winnings have to last you 60 to 80 years."
"Your parents should be grateful for any gift you give them."
"Nobody is entitled to your nest egg."- Remarkable-Foot9630
"Very much NTA."
"People are very different around money, especially around other people's money."
"The thought process goes something like this."
"You suddenly come into a windfall (congrats btw)."
"And person X decides that you have more money than you need."
"Person X then decides that because you have more money then you need and because you are a nice person (or blood related) you will clearly help them out with some of the excess money."
"Having already decided all of the above, they now 'know' that you will give them that money (they perhaps even start spending it in their heads)."
"Now, at this point, you are in trouble, because based on their (to them) perfectly reasonable thought process, you have basically already agreed to give them the money they decided you should give them."
"So when you say no (which is actually perfectly reasonable), in their mind, what you are doing is keeping them from their money, basically stealing it from them."
"This is where your parents are at right now."
"They decided that you would give them what they thought they deserved, and when you said no, they saw it as you basically stealing it from them."
"Every conversation you have from this point forward with them, remember that from their point of view, they are not being unreasonable, you are, because you are stealing their money from them."
"Now to the hard bit."
"Lock down your credit, NOW. It can be a very small step from 'I deserve it he should give it to me' to 'I'm just going to take it', this usually goes in the form of getting a credit card in your name, or a loan, because 'he can afford it, and he should have done it anyway'."
"As horrible as it sounds, you have to assume for and prepare for the worst, and then hope it never happens, because assuming the best and finding out you were wrong is going to be real bad."
"You are in a position where you can pay for the expertise to help here, find a good accountant and a good financial advisor (I assume you already have) explain the situation to them and get them to help you protect your assets and credit."
"Good luck."- Glint_Bladesong
"NTA."
"I hate what money does to people."- Groundh0g-
"NTA."
"Omg if you were my child, I'd want you to keep it all!"
"If they are already comfortable, why would they need it?"
"You got your whole life to live, and you NEVER know what's around the corner."- Large-Record7642
"NTA."
"Now they get nothing."- Logical_Bit_8008
"NTA."
"Keep that money."
"It's going to set you up for a very good life, which once you're established in life, you can help out your parents."- SupaTheBaked
"NTA."
"Your parents suck."
"Give them nothing and move far away."
"Trust me on this they will blow through it and then start guilt tripping you for more."
"Don’t do it."- Empty-Fudge-3037
The OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment, and offering a bit of clarity surrounding the situation:
"I want to thank everyone for giving me advice and some insight on the situation."
"To clear something up, I saw a few people talking about tax, since I live in the UK, lottery winnings are not taxed so I got the full amount."
"I may not have clarified this in the post, but my parents did not accept the £750K and insisted on the original amount (£2M)."
"This argument has been going back and forth for some time now but a lot of the comments I read mentioned I should lower my offer instead of just letting them try to control me."
"I've thought about what I can do, and they're still my parents, so I still do want to give them a portion of my winnings despite the fact that they felt entitled to half."
"And for the reason why I told them instead of keeping it a secret, I'm young, and I was excited, so I only saw it as a positive thing."
The OP is certainly a noble son, still wanting to reward his parents with his winnings despite their complete lack of gratitude.
Something one imagines he didn't learn from his parents.
One sadly can't help but think he'll regret this decision, however, when he sees how quickly and recklessly his parents spend their money...
