Renting a home from family can sound like a great idea on paper.
Surely, family will give a loved one a great financial break.
But nothing in life is free.
And all "breaks" can come with a cost.
Redditor Little_wing_21 found herself in a dilemma regarding the use of her home, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
She asked:
"AITAH for not wanting my brother’s girlfriend to have a girl’s weekend at my parent’s house that I’m currently renting?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (29 F[emale]) am currently renting the house that I grew up in from my parents."
"They built another house close by, and that new house is now their primary residence."
"They are not sure if they want to sell their old house, so for the past year I have been renting it from them and maintaining the 20-acre property."
"It’s a lot to take care of, especially maintaining everything to their high standards."
"My brother (40 M[ale]) called my mom and asked if his G[irl]F[riend] could use the old house for a girls' weekend."
"My mom told him that it probably won’t be a good weekend because my B[oy]F[riend] is visiting, but to call me and ask."
"Neither he nor she reached out to me."
"My boyfriend’s flight got delayed, and he wouldn’t be arriving until the following day."
"So, I ended up spending the night at my parents' new house because my mom wanted help babysitting my brother’s three younger children (2, 4, and 5)."
"My brother called my mom and found out I was spending the night there and was pissed."
"It was on speakerphone, and he said, 'I thought you said she was using the house this weekend?! What the hell!'"
"I had no clue what he was talking about, and that’s when my mom filled me in about his girlfriend wanting to use the house."
"I told my mom that I’m not comfortable with her doing that and that I’m also hurt that they didn’t even talk to me."
"To me, this isn’t just some vacation property that anyone can use whenever they want - this is the place I call home, where I live and pay rent."
"I'm not 'using' it; I live here."
"I’m also upset that they didn’t even bother calling me to ask if it was okay."
"I understand that it is my parents’ house and they make all of the decisions and are doing me a favor - I do not have an actual lease."
"Also, I guess my mom told him I’m only paying $600 a month rent and he bit*hed about that, going off about how entitled I am and listing things that my parents did for me while I was in high school."
"My parents raised my rent to $1,500 the next day but swear that it’s not related to my brother being upset."
"Which I’m more than happy to pay, but it’s the point."
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITAH for not wanting my brother's girlfriend and people I don’t even know staying here without talking to me first?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"Tell your parents that the increase in rent makes it their responsibility to care for the acreage."
"You'll be working more to afford the new rent." ~ nakedoldbi*ch
"NTA. That's your property if you're paying rent."
"Also, that's bs they raised your rent. I would sit down and have a serious talk with them about that. NTA."
"Raising your rent $900 is not related to the temper tantrum? 😂"
"The lie detector test has determined that’s a lie."
"You know it and your parents know it."
"That’s fine and dandy if you are willing to pay it, but don’t just accept it, no questions asked!"
"Because what happens next time your toddler brother has a fit?"
"If they insist on raising it, then ask them what responsibilities for the property they will be taking off your hands."
"Or present them with the new maintenance rate when you pay your rent."
"Now the biggie.. for you to be able to live in peace, you’ll need to do one of 2 things..."
"Make a lease agreement with your parents immediately and make sure it’s legal."
"Or"
"Find a new place to live."
"You can’t keep going on like this." ~ Firm_Barracuda_7603
"Exactly."
"If they're charging full market rent now, then it should come with the responsibilities a normal landlord has."
"You can't raise the rent to landlord prices while still expecting free property management and unlimited access to the tenant's home."
"That's not how renting works." ~ soft_afterimage72
"I agree and disagree."
"The parents are a**holes for raising the rent that much (if I remember right that 150% increase would be illegal in some, if not all states), but my bet is that it was the brother who put the bug in his parents' ears about the rent being too low, maybe even suggesting a new amount, which would make him the king a-hole."
"Yeah, if your parents did that, then tell them they can take care of their own damned property."
"And the fact that you have to work overtime to afford the HUGE jump in rent is a good excuse."
"Since your brother is going to be a petty little bi*ch at any time and y'alls parents are going to listen to the little worm, I would seriously get a lease if I was you."
"I know your parents could not have raised the rent that way if you had a lease."
"That is the amount a slumlord would raise the rent." ~ falcondfw
"NTA. That's your property if you're paying rent."
"Also, that's bullshit; they raised your rent."
"I would sit down and have a serious talk with them about that." ~ Interesting_Note_937
"NTA, that’s bulls*it; they raised your rent, but omg your brother is 40 and a full-on fu*king man child!!" ~ Bubbly-Essay9350
"OP should actually go talk to a lawyer."
"She’s likely lived there long enough to be considered a tenant even without a formal lease, in which case it’s very much illegal to raise the rent without proper notice (usually it’s 45 days before the new rent rate kicks in)."
"Or she can refuse to pay at all and make them go through the process of eviction, which might sour them on being di*ks to her."
"What should have happened in the first place is getting this agreement in writing in a proper lease."
"Anyone renting to anyone, even if it’s your kids/close family/bestest buddies, should C[over]-Y[our]-A[ss] with a legal lease." ~ SpecificLow1316
"NTA. You are a paying tenant, not a caretaker holding an Airbnb for your brother's girlfriend."
"The fact that he threw a tantrum over your home, dumped his kids on you, and got your parents to instantly hike your rent by $900 shows insane entitlement." ~ Spectre_Omega
"NTA, I'd look at moving."
"It's clear there's a golden child here, and it isn't you."
"Otherwise they wouldn't have suspiciously raised your rent because he complained."
"If they want landlord money, they need to begin maintaining it as landlords are required."
"I'd make it clear I'd rather be homeless and happy than used and miserable." ~ GigiGemini86
"If your parents are going to act like that, you should get a written lease."
"That way both you and your parents know your rights as renters."
"Arbitrarily raising your rent from $600 to $1500 overnight would not legally go over well because of the short notice."
"The lease takes away the Willy-hilly behavior of the landlord." ~ nodak500
"NTA, but I do think your parents are being a bit unfair about the rent situation."
"They obviously don’t need it like that and are only doing it because your older brother is an immature @ss and throwing a man-baby fit."
"Maybe they could compromise and meet you in the middle for the rent?"
"You do a lot of work there to keep up with the upkeep as well, and that’s a point that needs consideration." ~ Initial-Seesaw-3156
"You're paying rent, which makes you a tenant, which means they can't loan out the property at will, which means your entitled brother and his girlfriend can get fu*ked."
"You were doing them a massive favor maintaining the land, so the low rent made sense, but after that BS rent hike, I think it's time they went back to taking care of it themselves. NTA." ~ HeroinJimmy
"NTA. In fact, you might have to inform your parents."
"They'll need to pay you to maintain the property after they raised your rent."
"And your brother was entirely out of line thinking some random woman he's going out with could use your home to host a girls' night."
"There's something wrong with that boy; judging by his behavior, he needs some therapy or something." ~ PsychologyGuilty1460
"NTA. You’re paying rent."
"This is where you live."
"Tell both your mother and your AH brother that no one is allowed to 'use' your residence without your permission." ~ Shivs_baby
"Exactly. If someone that wasn’t a family member was renting the home, I doubt the brother and his GF would act so entitled to it."
"I doubt the mom would’ve been like 'I don't know, let me ask the tenants if they’re going to be home that weekend.'"
"They’re being jerks to OP." ~ pumpkins21
Reddit is with you, OP.
Reddit is also concerned for you.
Getting some legal certainty may not be a bad idea.
Good Luck.
