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Woman Balks After Husband Wants To Split Lottery Winnings With His Friend To Keep It A Secret

Couple holding lottery ticket.
Tanya Constantine/Getty Images

It’s more likely to be struck by lightning than it is to win the lottery.

Yet, a lucky few defy the odds and find themselves winning more money than they will ever spend in their entire lives.

Of course, people must then decide how they’ll spend their winnings, blow it all on a fancy home car or vacation, or perhaps be a little more generous.

Redditor throwawaylucx was astonished to find that she won an enormous amount of money through the lottery.

Upon sharing this news with her husband, however, the original poster (OP) was somewhat surprised by his suggestion as to what to do with the money.

When the OP expressed her hesitation in this decision, her husband accused her of being selfish.

Wondering if she was in the wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA For not wanting to split my jackpot win with my husbands friend?”

The OP explained why she was less than willing to go along with her husband’s suggestion as to what. to do with their lottery winnings.

“I (30 F[emale]) played the lottery for the first time last year when everyone was talking about the Powerball jackpot.”

“Since then I’ve played casually, only spending a few dollars a week.”

“I occasionally won a few bucks and never really expected to win anything big but it was nice to dream as I had a ton of debt and have been struggling a lot.”

“Fast forward to a few months ago (won’t say the month for privacy) I checked the winning numbers one night against my ticket and it matched with my numbers perfectly.”

“Initially I didn’t believe it and thought there had to be a mistake so I told my husband(35 M[ale]) and we checked it like a dozen times and I was right, we won.”

“It’s Life changing, multi generational, f*ck you money.”

“We instantly agreed to keep the news to ourselves and wait a few months before we did anything.”

“The past few months have been an incredible high, filled with disbelief and though it’s been difficult, we have managed not to make any large purchases or change our lifestyle.”

“We fantasized about what to do with our money but the time to claim is drawing near so we have begun having more practical discussions about how to claim it and what to do with it.”

“While discussing, my husband ‘Adam’ brought up that he thinks it’ll be a good idea to split the money with his best friend/ business partner ‘Tim’.”

“Tim and Adam have been friends since they were in middle school and have done everything together ever since.”

“Together they’ve started businesses, work together, invested money, moved to the same town and have often dreamed about our families making it big together.”

“Since we have take risks together and are so close, Adam feels it’s fair to give them 1/3 of the cash prize so that 1) we are not going on this journey to a new life alone 2) it’s suspicious to make all this money suddenly and more easily explained if Tim “makes”money as well since we do everything together.”

“I however feel it’s risky to share that we have come into this money with them because Tim’s family tends to be more flashy and like showing off and I don’t fully trust that they will keep it quiet or modest enough to not raise suspicion.”

“This is important because I’ve seen community members harass and attack people with far less money just because they feel entitled.”

“This could jeopardize our safety so I want to avoid it if at all possible.”

“Also I’m not really comfortable with his plan to add Tim and his wife as members of our LLC to claim the prize (because I think it could have them feel entitled to a bigger chunk or take the money?)”

“Adam thinks I’m being selfish and he wont enjoy our new found wealth if his friend isn’t living the same lifestyle but I think we could find a way to later give them some money after figuring out a way to explain how we came into money without telling them we won lottery (no idea how to do that yet).”

“Anyway, AITA for not wanting to tell them we won the lottery and split the money?”

“Am I selfish?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not wanting to share her lottery winnings with Tim.

Everyone agreed that Tim had no claim to the OP’s lottery winnings, and the OP had every right to keep and save what was rightfully hers, with many encouraging her to consult a lawyer as soon as possible.


“If you want to buy Tim a new Accord, go nuts.”

‘But giving him 1/3 of your winnings is insane.”


“If you’re not already talking to one, you’re doing it wrong.”

“Also, get the money somewhere that your husband CANNOT decide to move it without your permission and knowledge.”- zippy_zaboo


“Call an attorney & a financial advisor.”

“Keep the money out of your husband’s business.”- Alarming_Reply_6286


“Go see a reputable lawyer who sets up trusts to help you protect you winnings and give you serious advice you never knew you needed regarding taxation and inheritance.”

“They charge a flat fee and you can work with them.”

“Also a Lwyer or CPA or a licensed investment counselor all owe you a fiduciary duty (highest duty to you) and most are insured (you can even get proof before committing to do business with them.”

“Tim doesn’t seem the way to go and there are NO assurances.”- catskilkid


“The idea of giving your husbands friend any of it is batsh*t insane.”


“Your husband’s justifications for this all sound like utter nonsense.”

“It’s not a good idea.”

“It’s an execrably bad idea.”

“He needs to keep giving his head a shake until he stops thinking that.”

“Please note OP, winning very large amounts can be incredibly bad for pretty much all aspects of your life if you are not careful.”

“I would advise you to look into it – its info that’s easy enough to find.”

“And don’t tell anyone.”

“Like, at all.”

“Telling just one person would be too many.”

“You might as well tell everybody.”

“I worry your husband has already told Tim.”

“You are in for a world of sh*t if he has.”- Stoat__King


“I find it exceptionally bizarre that your husband wants to make plans with your lottery winnings for his BF.”

“Vehemently bizarre.”

“Best friend, business partner or not.”

“Why does your husband even think HIS friend should have YOUR money?”


“NTA!”- CosmicStarchild7

“Putting it into an LLC where you can be voted out would end badly.”

“Your husband is about to divorce you.”

“Prepare yourself.”- Skizzybee


“And why does your husband feel his friend is entitled to your lottery winnings?”

“If his family was in a bad financial situation and needed help, I could understand him wanting to help him out, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

“He’s his friend and business partner, not his significant other.”

“Info suggest getting an attorney and an accountant to help you navigate thru this kind of money though.”- jacksonlove3

“NTA and do NOT add the partner to the money.”

“I question their relationship if he is wanting to give 1/3 of ‘f*ck you’ money to a friend and such.”

“That doesn’t sound like a friend.”

“Don’t get me wrong.”

“If my husband and I won this 1 billion jackpot we would definitely give to friends and family.”

“A million each would be sufficient for them to each live wonderful lives.”

“But 1/3…sounds more suspect than a million or two each.”

“Maybe your husband is more than just friends?”- Wandering_aimlessly9


“Not sure how your and your husband’s accounts are handled, it seems you literally consider everything you own shared, and that makes any difference of opinion like this very hard to handle.”

“If you want to bring another family along for the ride, handing them cash is a very poor way to do it.”

“How do you expect them to feel, receiving basically charity, being given more money than you have managed to make from your own abilities and through your own efforts across your entire lifetime, just so you can stay someone’s friend?”

“It will put strain on your relationship, and you won’t stay friends for more than a year afterward.”

“Your husband can start a new business with his business partner ‘Tim’ where he provides the stake money.”

“Your husband and ‘Tim’ can then take what salary they feel is appropriate but also luxurious enough to live the high life.”

“They can employ others to do the work.”

“‘Tim’ gets to earn his wages, the money is not ‘gifted’, your husband doesn’t become the boss, and boundaries are maintained.”- chrestomancy

The OP later returned, thanking everyone who took the time to comment and sharing how she planned to deal with her lottery win going forward.

Thank you all for your input.”

“I think a few things are clear now to me.”

“1) absolutely a horrible idea to put Tim on the ticket.”

“2) Claim the money with only me as the beneficiary for now and change based on advice of lawyer.”

“3) Find a way to help Tim’s family without blowing our cover.”

“Thanks again for all your input.”

It’s admirable to want to be generous when coming into a sizable amount of money.

However, there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to save and keep money that is rightfully yours.

And since it was the OP’s ticket, to begin with, her husband really didn’t have much say on how they spent the money.

Here’s hoping the OP might consider this before pressing the OP any further.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.