Religions and cultures around the world have dietary restrictions. Some are, or were, for health and safety reasons. Others are a matter of faith or belief in certain values.
Zabiha halal (or dhabiha) refers to meat, from an animal pefmitted to be eaten, that has been slaughtered by hand in the specific way required by Islamic law. The term halal means permissible and the opposite is haram.
Not all Muslims follow strict rules of zabiha halal, with some communities where halal meats are not as accessible eating kosher meats as an acceptable substitute, but for those that do adhere strictly, it only limits take-out options in regards to meat and cross contamination.
All fresh fruits, vegetables, grains, seeds, nuts, and legumes are naturally halal as long as they are pure, safe, and free from intoxicants. Fish and most aquatic animals are inherently permissible under Islamic law. Milk, cheese, yogurt, and eggs are halal as long as their processing avoids forbidden additives (like non-halal animal fats or byproducts or pork-derived gelatin).
A Muslim man who adheres to zabiha halal turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Sgaisnsvdis asked:
"AITAH for bringing my own food?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (28, male) am a Muslim who specifically follows dietary guidelines of eating zabiha halal. I live in a fairly metropolitan city area where there are plenty of options for me to eat halal food and get halal meat for groceries for me to cook myself at home."
"I am also not a picky eater, and if I go out to a restaurant with my friends or coworkers I can get myself a seafood option or a vegetarian option without issue and I enjoy it."
"My friend (28, male) recently started a new journey where he has set up a home theater in his house. He has spent over $20,000 on this home theater and invites everyone over for a movie night at his house every Friday and Saturday."
"I usually can't make Fridays work with my own personal life, but I have attended the last four Saturdays to watch movies and hang out with the friend group."
"The first week I went, I missed the Friday movie and was told that everyone chips in to a communal pool so they can get food. Burgers, pizza, pasta, wings, etc..."
"Everyone was supposed to put in $12 for each day and my friend would order on DoorDash and have it delivered. The first Saturday that I joined, I mentioned I wasn't going to eat and didn't want to contribute to the pool as I had recently ate dinner."
"The next week I chipped in $12 and the only thing my friend ordered was pepperoni pizzas which I can't eat. I didn't make a big deal about it and just didn't eat."
"The next week my friend said they were doing wings. I recommended a place that offers zabiha halal wings and they said they didn't want to try something new so they ordered from a local pizza place."
"I asked him to order a small veggie plate with the wings as it would usually come with carrots, celery, broccoli, and some ranch, and I chipped in my $12 again. My friend ordered the veggie plate but the restaurant screwed up and didn't include it."
"So for 2 weeks in a row I went as the only person not eating food while everyone else ate and enjoyed the movies."
"This past weekend, I showed up and this time I brought my own takeout. I ordered ahead of time and picked it up on my way to the friend's house so I can eat with everyone."
"I ordered a spaghetti and meatballs dish from a local place that uses halal meat for everything except the pork (obviously). I sat down with everyone and we all enjoyed the movie."
"Today is the Thursday before the weekend. My friend sends me a message saying that the friend group doesn't think it's okay for me to bring my own food, and it's very socially awkward for one person to be eating something different when everyone else is eating the same thing."
"He said people saw me and also wanted spaghetti when he ordered burgers for everyone, and without me chipping in everyone had to pay $18 for their burger combos."
"I told him that for 2 weeks, I made my contributions, but didn't get to eat anything. I asked if it was socially awkward to have one friend sit there hungry while everyone else was eating and he couldn't reply."
"Then I asked him if we can just do pizzas and instead of all them being pepperoni, order one cheese and set aside 2 slices of cheese pizza for me and I will gladly contribute. I also mentioned that obviously burger meals would be more expensive and since they ordered from a place, I can not eat from, why would I have voluntarily chipped in to feed everyone else without me getting to eat."
"He didn't reply for a few hours and said if it was cool with me, he could just order pizzas and do one cheese for me, but can't promise that there will always be a good option for me regarding my own dietary restrictions."
"Am I the a**hole for bringing my own food to a friend's movie night?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was providing the best solution for a problem he didn't create (NTA).
"Unless they are willing to provide for your dietary/religious beliefs, bringing your own food is reasonable." ~ mdthomas
"NTA but it's clearly time to stop accepting his invitations. Be clear that the reason for this is his lack of respect and consideration for your dietary restrictions." ~ Objective-Pound2185
"Exactly He went out of his way to find a solution and they still made him feel like the problem." ~ Specialist_Fun_3936
"Is this for real? Who honestly cares that someone at a gathering is not eating the pizzas or whatever else it is that is provided, and they're eating their own food?"
"Bring your own food. If your friend doesn't like it, stop attending. He's not really being a friend."
"Feel free to show this msg to him. PS, he owes you $24 since you paid and got no food. NTA." ~ stroppo
"NTA. I don't know about your friend group, but most people don't think it's OK to make people pay for food they can't eat AND tell them they can't bring their own food, so that they don't have any food they can eat. Would you do the same thing to someone that was allergic to meat?" ~ FishScrumptious
"NTA— your friends are the a**holes for thinking you’re an a**hole. I'm vegan and will often bring my own food to events—too hard to rely on others. If other people want the food I brought instead of whatever they agreed to order, that’s really too bad. They don’t get to pout like little children about it." ~ WiseEntertainment912
"NTA. If you can’t eat what everyone else is eating / if they’re not willing to accommodate you, bringing your own food is the reasonable thing to do. ~ PageStunning6265
"Jew here. You and I follow strict dietary guides, kashrut kosher and zabiha halal, that do not allow very specific things. I tell people that I have a strict diet I must keep to and so I will bring my own food so no one has to follow that diet with me. It works pretty well." ~ Klutzy-Cookie9242
"Seconded as another Jew. While I don't keep to those dietary restrictions, I would never demand someone who has dietary restrictions for whatever reason to compromise them."
"If they can't even be bothered to get you a cheese pizza or salad, then bring your own food. They are in the wrong, you OP, are not." ~ Akiranar
"Third Jew here and, unusually, this is a case of three Jews one opinion. OP is NTA." ~ jerdle_reddit
"Fourth Jew here! OP is definitely NTA. He’s actually showing a ton of social grace and maturity. He twice paid for food he never got, and instead of asking for his money back, he just brought his own food next time."
"He could’ve raised a super legitimate issue, and instead he just quietly solved his own problem without involving anyone else. That’s a really classy, taking one (or multiple) for the team right there."
"The host is the a**hole here. Bro can drop $20k on a complex home theater project, but he can’t pay for folks’ food himself nor coordinate it well enough to make sure OP gets food he can eat?"
"Nah. Not buying it. Host is a greedy a** and OP deserves to spend his free time with folks who won’t take his money, and who will make sure he has something he can and wants to eat at every gathering." ~ hazedaze404
"The math isn't really mathing. Everyone had to pay $6 more for their burger because ONE PERSON didn't kick in $12? How does that make any sense at all‽‽"
"Sounds like your friend is running his home theater as a moneymaking venture, and by making sure to only order things you can't eat, he could order less food and pocket more profit those weeks."
"Your solution was a convenient excuse to jack the price to $18 for each person because apparently they don't see that one less burger being ordered makes the whole bill less, not more. It's not like he would have ordered the same amount of food."
"If I was in this friend group, I'd have someone else take care of ordering food since the host is either incompetent or a grifter." ~ MohawMais
OP offered a reasonable solution.
Maybe everyone else needs to know what really happened and why they needed to pay more.
